I've not disappeared - went to pick up the kids from school and not sat down again until now. And now I find 3 pages of replies to go through (thank you for all your comments)!
Interesting to see there's such a variety of what other people's 'normal' is, and that other couples enjoy prolonged sessions too.
To clarify a few things: we rarely get the full two hours - that's 'worst case' scenario, and about the point where we usually give up. It's usually about an hour to 90 mins. Yes, I'm sure she's a completely willing participant for the duration - if she want's to stop she tells me and we do.
She says how good the sex is between us, and we seem more compatible in the bedroom than I've ever experienced before. But I do wonder if she feels somewhat obliged to keep going til I climax (I know I'd feel inadequate if I didn't make my partner orgasm). And I wonder if it sometimes puts her off initiating sex when we'd both be up for a quickie, but know it never ends up that way.
There's no soreness or dryness for her. If anything, I'm the one that ends up feeling that before she does, but that's over the course of multiple sessions. We don't live together, so usually can only see each other once a fortnight.
She normally orgasms multiple times during the foreplay (I'm good with my hands apparently!) And usually once or twice during the PIV stage, and especially with a bit of extra stimulation. I don't think she's faking it just to get it over with (why would she fake it multiple times).
I'm not on any meds (someone asked about SSRIs), and generally perfectly healthy. Gained some weight over lockdown, but this 'issue' was there before that. I don't smoke, and don't drink heavily - maybe just one or two small bottles of beer of an evening. I do wonder if going T total would make a difference, but not got round to trying that.
We do go through multiple positions in these sessions - certainly not just 90 minutes of straight missionary! Sometimes a position change can bring me to a sudden climax, but not consistently.
DIY/masturbation ususally takes about the same time as things last with my partner. I've not suggested she gives me prostate stimulation to enhance things for me, mainly because I've tried that on myself and it didn't seem to have any effect. Doubt she'd be keen anyway.
I do sometimes have what feel like mini orgasms during sex, and I'm not sure if they're delaying the real thing or even weakening the intensity of it because sometimes they feel like a bit of an anticlimax.
Some things I have noticed - the foreplay normally focuses on pleasuring her. I get very aroused doing this (more than the sex itself sometimes), and I find myself having to hold back my own orgasm ready for the main act. It's possible that in doing so, I'm making it harder to climax later?
She is very physical during foreplay and sex - she seems to like it very hard and fast. I do too sometimes, but I do wonder if it's so intense that some of the sensation is lost. I'd like to ask her to slow down and be more gentle and sensual with it, but not quite sure how to suggest that to her when she seems to prefer the opposite.
She does get very wet during sex, usually to the point that I can't feel any sensation at all. I'm not sure if that's purely due to the wetness, whether the foreplay was too rough and has numbed the sensation a bit, or if I'm just not well enough endowed to make it feel tight.
So I'm almost tempted to suggest we try shortening the (extensive foreplay) and progress more quickly to the PIV. I am a bit worried that'll have the opposite effect and make me climax quickly without her having any orgasms first.