When do boys grow their man bodies?

[pipsqueakbollock]

Bonkers question.

I'm a single mum of 2. Their father left when DD was 6 and DS barely 3.
We had a long 20 year relationship but don't see him now.

DS is my mini me. He just looks so like me as a child. Our personalities are very in tune.

He's hitting puberty (now 11). I just always thought he was my side gene pool and then I glimpsed his dad in him physically.

Tell me about when your sons grew.... I feel like his whole body shape is changing. And yes I'm finding it a bit weird and odd because I don't want to be reminded of his dad.

I feel really odd about it.

My son is 14 and he looks and sounds more like his father each day. In fact it's difficult to tell them apart on the phone. The dominant gene from my side is his hair. I , and my two DD's, have an uncontrollable mop of curly red hair - see Merida from Brave. My son has too but he keeps his a lot shorter. He plays a lot of sport so he's itching to get back to school and it won't be long before he's covered in bimps and bruises. Doesn't stop him putting plastic spiders in his 16 yr old sisters bed ( prompting a total melt down ) so he's not totally grown out of it yet.

I think your comments about your son are weird. That said, my brother has a lot of my dad's mannerisms and height but his physique is actually my mother's dad's. He was skinny and lean, so's my brother.

My post was deleted but this weird and creepy thread is still going

@pipsqueakbollock I agree with others , please do seek therapy otherwise you're going to unconsciously project issues on your poor son that are nothing to do with him. It's simply unfair and children can sense these things even if they are unable to voice them.

Does your son have a good male role model e.g. grandad, uncle, sports coach etc.? Focus on encouraging these sorts of relationships. This is really important for boys, since not having his dad in his life is really going to affect him.

@pipsqueakbollock

Alas who would want to be reminded of a convicted criminal of sexual assault.

My head doesn't need a wobble.

It's seeing the curve of a limb or the angle of a joint - our bodies are like paintings or photos and they can flash memories. No different to when someone says how we look like our relatives.

I suppose I'm wondering do boys bodies usually grow into the same physique of their fathers? Which again is dumb as I have a daughter and actually she has her dad's body parts but it's in feminine form.

I don't think DS will be anywhere near as tall as his dad. DS is a skinny little whatsit. That's why it took me by surprise somewhat.

@DramaAlpaca @FortunesFave
Thank you for your thoughts. It is useful to have your insight

I used to work with women who experienced domestic abuse and what you are feeling is incredibly common, human reaction. Most women with sons reported feeling this in my experience.

You could reach out to any local charities and see if they have a counsellor you could chat this through with. We also used to run a parenting course that was very very specific to these kinds of issues.

You sound like an incredible mum. Remember that no matter how he looks, you will have had the far larger influence because you raised him from being a toddler.

I don’t know about the when as my children are still young- but my husband could not look less like his dad. His dad ( and there’s no doubt he’s his!) is tall and broad and big. Husband looks just like his mum but male. Obviously he has bigger hands, jaw, limbs, is male etc- but they’re both slight, same colouring, struggle to gain weight, have similar shaped noses etc. Our daughter follows her daddy in appearance. Our son is more like me in build - but has my mums personality. Our newest daughter is nearly 3 days. I think she might look like me. Maybe.

My ds is 17, 6 foot tall & chunky, but thankfully except for his hands & feet looks nothing like his dad, he is my brother's double, has been ever since he was about 12, if you didn't know you would think he was his son. Even though he is 17 & so tall he still looks like a child, he is naturally white blonde & only needs to have a shave about once a week, his face hasn't grown in to a man's yet either.

My husband is a spitting image of his father (It can be a bit weird sometimes...) but his mum sadly is very distent from him because of this and their rocky devorce.

She says things like she won't come visit as there's no need to visit the town we live in. It's very sad.

@Providora

OP I have 2 teenage boys close in age and their development has been quite different so it's hard to say what will happen to your son. I'd say the most dramatic changes happened around year 9/10 though.

At 15.5yo and nearly 17yo my boys are both taller than their Dad (all over 6'). The older one has a very defined 'man' shape and can grow facial hair. The younger hasn't reached that stage and his voice only dropped in the last few months.

My eldest is the image of his abusive father and when he's angry about something it does give me flashbacks, I totally understand what you are getting at, please ignore people who don't get it and are trying to twist your words. You don't love your son an less but certain looks or words can trigger memories.

I totally agree with this.