When do boys grow their man bodies?

[pipsqueakbollock]

Bonkers question.

I'm a single mum of 2. Their father left when DD was 6 and DS barely 3.
We had a long 20 year relationship but don't see him now.

DS is my mini me. He just looks so like me as a child. Our personalities are very in tune.

He's hitting puberty (now 11). I just always thought he was my side gene pool and then I glimpsed his dad in him physically.

Tell me about when your sons grew.... I feel like his whole body shape is changing. And yes I'm finding it a bit weird and odd because I don't want to be reminded of his dad.

I feel really odd about it.

My son's who are 11 and 13 both look very much like their father. He sexually assaulted me and was not a nice man, we rarely see him now. To answer your question my 11 almost 12 year old is still very much a child but the 13 turning 14 year old is turning in to a young man. He is still thin but much taller than me now, he is getting darker hair on his top lip and is getting a lot stronger physically. I could not care less that they look like their Dad, honestly his looks are probably one of the best things he could contribute to them. They are both kind and respectful young men and they get that from me which is what is really important.

@Wanderlusto

I read somewhere that girls get 70% of their DNA from their dad where as boys only get 50%. But just by being male of course he'll look more like his dad.

That's not true, my Dad and I have both done DNA tests and I have exactly y 50% shared DNA with him.

@Twatonapogostick

When your child is the image of somebody who repeatedly assaulted you it can be shocking. My DS not only looks like his father but has followed in his footsteps to threaten and intimidate. Once they are towering over you it is just like having their father back. My DS was like this in the last year of primary school.

OP says he didn’t assault her

My young adult son is much more like me & the men on my side of the family, so much so that STBXH doubted his parentage at dinner, in front of then teenage son

He has a couple of his father's nastier personality traits, though not as pronounced - he recognises this in himself & hates it, so tries to rein it in

I find it a bit fascinating the traits that show through.
Overall, I look like my mum but my eyes, eye colour, hairline, feet just like my dad. My grandson is a spitting image of his grandfather.

@ReginaGeorgeIsAFuglySlut
I did laugh at your post

Actually I feel the same, his good looks were probably the best thing he ever did for his children.

Other replies - Thank you for your responses about growing. It is helpful and now I realise writing this post helps me learn more about why I find it weird because of the massive range of replies.

A lot of the noise of this thread is in my head, some unformed hence I'm confused.

@deplorabelle I will look into that CBT technique thank you.
@freckles20 that is a really great sentiment about my son reminding me of my son! Th k you

wrt Body shape, I take after women on my dad's side, not at all my mom's family, actually. I have odd things like her hands, jowls like she did, things in shape of my face that maybe my dad doesn't share. I always took after dad's side, though.

My 3 DSs seem to have different physiques, none obviously like their dad. DS1 turned into a beefy guy. DS2 is built like an aspirational swimmer. DS3 might go scarecrow, but still too early to tell.

@ragged

wrt Body shape, I take after women on my dad's side, not at all my mom's family, actually. I have odd things like her hands, jowls like she did, things in shape of my face that maybe my dad doesn't share. I always took after dad's side, though.

My 3 DSs seem to have different physiques, none obviously like their dad. DS1 turned into a beefy guy. DS2 is built like an aspirational swimmer. DS3 might go scarecrow, but still too early to tell.

Scarecrow

Omg just stop! I have reported your previous comments. You’re harassing the OP at this point, she’s clearly looking for support with some complicated thoughts and I’m not sure what you think you’re bringing to the discussion here but you need to let it go.

have reported @Kelly345 for weird, repetitive troll-like comments.

DS and DSS were both around 15 before they started to grow - both were still clearly boys until then and looked young for their years (both summer born as well). They didn't resemble each other at 15. Now, at 34 and 21, they are like peas in a pod. They are both tall (DSS is a giant, at 6'6", no idea where that comes from as DS is 6', DH was 6', and both me and DSS's mum are short), same hair colour (DS was ginger as a small child but has got darker as he's got older), both the same sturdy body shape, and facially very similar. Looking at them is like looking at their dad, cousins and uncles. And then looking at DH as he got older and then unwell was looking at his own dad. The genes are strong there.

I would say between about 17 and 20 the transformation of both boys into men to place. It's uncanny. But they were late bloomers so it seemed to happen very quickly!

Oh wow what a horrible thread

It's seeing the curve of a limb or the angle of a joint - our bodies are like paintings or photos and they can flash memories. No different to when someone says how we look like our relatives.

Yeah something is off about this thread alright.

If OP understands the basic concept that people tend to look like their relatives, why is it so hard to accept this child looks like their father? Why is this such a shock to OP?

Also the weird questions about how genes work for males VS females is just so strange

I know what you mean, Op. My 23 year old twin sons (and dd14) are the spit out of fil's mouth. Colouring, build, height, facial shape. Everything. If there was ever any doubt who Dh's father was, they're dead in the water now. Very strong genes that skipped a generation from that one.

Luckily, I like my fil and have always thought he was an objectively attractive person. If I hated him, it probably wouldn't be as entertaining as it is.

My son is 14 and taller than me now. He has some hair above his lip but it's not dark enough to need shaving. Jos voice has stopped breaking in the last 6 months- it's a man voice now.

My 2 sons have very different physiques. Ds1 is tall and super skinny. Dd2 is more average but has more visible muscles despite less exercise. Their Dad is in between.

I’m a teacher. Sometimes I’d see boys in y8 who were still squeaky and little. I’d be talking down to them.

Then l wouldn’t see them until year 10. OMG, it was like they’d grown 4 ft overnight and turned into men. I’d have to look up to talk to them and I’m 5ft 8!

So, year 9 l would say

It is a slightly bonkers thread. But since you asked...
Firstly, they don't always look like their fathers. Neither of mine particularly resemble their dad. They do have his personality traits though.

My DS1 just turned 14 and is man sized but has more growing to do. He hit puberty much earlier than his peers and his voice broke ages ago. He is 5ft 10 and his feet are size 11. He has the physique of my dad (his grandad) as he is much much bigger (broader and thicker) than his dad although still an inch shorter. He was always quite slight until he got to about 10 - skinny build like his dad - but that changed with puberty. He shaves although he has fair facial hair so its not obvious.

My DS2 is 11. He is already bigger and broader than his peers but is going through the stretch phase where he looks slimmer all of a sudden as he's gained two inches in height in the last few months. I have no doubt he will shoot up in the next year as he is now the same height as me (5ft 4") with size 7.5 feet. He has less of his dads personality traits, and my facial features. He has always had really muscly thighs and I've no idea where those came from.

Also, when boys are ready for a growth spurt, their feet grow first.

Ds in year 8 has a size 11 and was about 5ft 9
Ds in year 10 was a size 11 and about 6ft 2

He ended up at 6ft 5. But they don’t really start to broaden out across the shoulders until they’ve finished growing.

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