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Original poster

My Partner's New Puppy Is Ruining Our Sex Life

37 replies

srrrrrb757 · 01/03/2021 20:20

My partner decided to get a puppy. I wasn't thrilled but since our relationship was somewhat new, I felt like the only thing I could do was be supportive in his decision. He had no clue what he was getting into. Now the puppy has effectively ruined our sex life and I feel like the dog is the center of attention and our relationship is put to the wayside most of the time. It is enough that he has to spend tons of time training her (which I completely understand and support) but there has to be some boundaries. The puppy should NOT be sleeping in the bed with us in my opinion. That is essentially the only alone time with him I get to look forward to. Am I being unreasonable? It's hurting my feelings and starting to make me resent him and the puppy.

OP posts:

FortunesFave · 01/03/2021 20:23

It's up to him if it's his house. You do sound a bit jealous and needy. If ,my new partner was annoyed that I was spending time training my puppy I would definitely rethink the relationship.

If you don't like sleeping with the dog then you do need to tell him that....or end the relationship really.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 01/03/2021 20:24

I'm struggling to imagine how a puppy, however young and untrained, can ruin your sex life. Just shut it outside the bedroom while you get your bizness on, surely?!

If he's saying he won't do that, then I'd take that as a large hint that he likes having a puppy in his life more than he likes you in it.

MamaDane · 01/03/2021 20:25

You're not being unreasonable at all. Ours cat stay out of our bedroom. The puppy needs to learn to sleep on its own. It's also a pet, while it is often regarded as a family member by many, it's sole purpose is companionship and entertainment. If its effect on your family is more negative than positive then the point of having a pet has been lost.

If you haven't spoken to him about, you should. Boundaries are entirely reasonable. If he knows but does whatever he wants, then it's time to move on. Some people change when they have a dog and honestly they aren't always pleasant to be around.

Kelly345 · 01/03/2021 20:31

Dogs sleeping in your bed is a no no for me. I own a large dominant breed and allowing them to sleep in your bed teaches them there are no boundaries between your bed and thiers. The rule should be that you can stand in their bed but they don't get on yours.

Ragwort · 01/03/2021 20:31

Well, he clearly prefers having the puppy in bed to your company so I would suggest that you ditch him and leave him to his puppy ! LTB and LTP

Kelly345 · 01/03/2021 20:32

P.S. If you think it's bad now wait til the teething starts lol

StephenBelafonte · 01/03/2021 20:33

My dog sleeps on my bed but I totally get that not everyone would be happy to sleep with a dog on the bed and if you don't like it you're just going to have to say so.

I hope you don't mind me asking but how do you manage to have sex with a puppy on the bed?

llm24 · 01/03/2021 20:38

we have a 16 week old puppy and set the rules from the start it’s not allowed upstairs

totally get where you are coming from why would you want a dog sleeping in your bed

Aprilx · 01/03/2021 20:39

It’s unusual to take a puppy to bed because they are not housetrained at that age. Lots of people let a grown dog sleep on the bed though.

honeysuckle21 · 01/03/2021 20:39

If he's wanting a long term relationship with you, I think actually he should of discussed this with you, not everyone wants a dog in their life and the responsibilities that come with it, a dog is going to change your lifestyle together completely and now your not happy with the dog around the bed with you, the only thing you can do now is come to an agreement to keep the dog in another room or end it with him.

Eckhart · 01/03/2021 20:43

What did he say when you talked to him about it?

BoredMumofTwins · 01/03/2021 21:10

I get the feeling he's more interested in the puppy than you.
I think you should cool it a bit, don't go over for a while.
Leave him to it.

PetalPath · 01/03/2021 21:15

Some people are just not dog people and it can be a deal breaker.

SandyY2K · 01/03/2021 22:41

I don't sleep with pets so if he didn't get the puppy out, I wouldn't be staying the night. If he's letting the puppy ruin your sex life, then he it would appear he's not so fussed about your sex life.

FortunesFave · 01/03/2021 23:00

@Eckhart

What did he say when you talked to him about it?

She doesn't say she has talked to him about it.

Cas112 · 04/03/2021 17:05

You need to get him to nip this in the bud, my friend got a puppy last year and quickly her sexlife with her partner went down the drain, she panders to the dog constantly. She even had to get someone to take the dog valentines night to ensure she could have a romantic night with her partner and get intimate

PaterPower · 04/03/2021 17:20

There’s nothing worse than a spoilt puppy, who’ll grow into a poorly trained dog. Dogs need clear boundaries early on.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/03/2021 17:22

I'd make it clear I'm not sleeping in a bed of doggy hair so dog goes in a basket / he changes and cleans it all or it would be a deal breaker

Closetbeanmuncher · 04/03/2021 18:22

Definitely would be happy having a dog (or cat) and it's unwashed arsehole, dirty feet and dead skin all over the bedsheets 🤢

Im an animal lover but wouldn't be happy with that at all. The training however is part of owning a dog and you're going to have to lump it.

Closetbeanmuncher · 04/03/2021 18:22

*wouldn't be happy

Wanderlusto · 04/03/2021 18:25

Why do you think you need to be supportive of a decision he made himself? One that inpacts your relationship greatly.

Fair enough if you lived separately but not in your house.

It's a relatively new relationship? Good, bin him. He has already showed you he is inconsiderate and selfish.

The puppy is not the problem. The man is. He is not relationship material.

Opentooffers · 04/03/2021 18:41

Lol, I got a puppy a few years ago, realised my then BF was not a dog person and at times seemed afraid of him. When he came around, we'd sit in one room and the dog in another with me nipping in now and then. Pretty soon I realised I preferred spending evenings with my dog than my BF so the writing was on the wall - and tbf, I'd gone off him for other reasons anyway. Now I sleep with my dog, but he's house-trained, doesn't snore, keeps my feet warm and sleeps well .
Got a new BF, who my dog adores, they get on very well. Always good to make sure your SO likes dogs before getting one.
If a person gets one regardless of their SO feelings, it's perhaps because they wanted one more than they are bothered about the relationship, as I did. A dog is for life, BF's come and go, and now it's a case of love me, love my dog. However, my dog would be fine about being shut out of my bedroom for a while, it's having a teenager that prevents me having my BF to stay over. No way would I have an unhouse-trained dog in bed though, that's asking for trouble.

CallistoSol · 04/03/2021 18:48

You sound a bit precious and hard work OP. If it's a new relationship he isn't a partner. If you don't live together it's up to him whether he gets a dog, how much time he spends with it, and where it sleeps. And if he prefers sleeping with the dog to sex with his girlfriend I would say he certainly doesn't see you as a partner and your relationship is going to fail.

Orangebitters · 04/03/2021 21:56

Awww, this is totally normal with a puppy! It’s cruel to make a puppy sleep in a room alone, they can get very scared. Yes they definitely have a habit of ruining sex lives. A puppy is not so different to having a baby however I wouldn’t have him in the bed as he may not be house trained. I’d suggest that your bf put the puppy in a crate in the bedroom. He will fall asleep & you can have your bf to yourself! I think you have to compromise on this one though, as you say, it’s a new relationship so you don’t really get a say in whether he’s a dog owner or not. I think it reflects well on him though that he’d want to look after a puppy alone!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 05/03/2021 00:18

I love dogs but I wouldn't want one sleeping in a bed with me presumably shitting and weeing if he/she is little and not yet trained. Not fair on the dog if that's going to change at some point either, training it to be allowed in bed with him from day dot. Maybe he won't change it though!

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