When one party is much more attractive than the other...

[PreciousOcean]

I've just started seeing someone. He is pretty gorgeous. Very muscular and toned. Beautiful face. Just extremely attractive. I'm a single mum with mum tum, slightly overweight, very wobbly, lots of cellulite etc. I look pretty gross naked. How do I get over this? I feel stupidly embarrassed about my body because it really is awful. The fact he looks so amazing makes me feel even worse! Help.

I wish I knew how ruined my body would be after having a baby then I may have been slightly more prepared for this!

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/jul/13/how-we-met-its-1300-miles-to-romania-the-same-as-the-number-of-pounds-my-phone-bill-was

He probably doesn't feel that way at all but regardless of anyone else, if you're not happy with your body, try and make it so that you are.

Regardless of this guy you need to work on your self esteem and getting your body back for you.

[quote ravenmum]www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/jul/13/how-we-met-its-1300-miles-to-romania-the-same-as-the-number-of-pounds-my-phone-bill-was[/quote]

???

Lucky you op!

I think you should enjoy this muscular Adonis!

Hi OP. I think you just need to remember that at the end of the day, it really is personality that matters. You could look like Angelina Jolie circa 2003 but if you haven't got anything else going for you (sense of humour, kindness etc) then this Adonis of yours wouldn't stick around. He's clearly with you for a reason and no doubt thinks you're very attractive.

I'm assuming here that you don't have the face of Audrey Hepburn (or insert other legendarily beautiful woman) on top of this perfectly normal, wonderful human body of yours?

So it's not like he's accidentally started dating you thinking that you're an athletic or petite type based on your face, right? He's seen you in person, so he knows roughly what size and shape you are. I'm assuming if he's as good looking as you say that he's seen plenty of actual women naked - he's not some porn-addled virgin who thinks all women come ready-airbrushed. Right?

The only problem with your body is in your mind. And the sexiest thing is self-confidence. OK you don't have that yet, but the good news is that you CAN fake it til you make it!

The first time you have sex (before), be upfront that you're self-conscious about your body since having DC. If he is shallow enough to be put off by this, then you've had a lucky escape. But if he's good partner material, he will reassure you that he finds you beautiful and sexy.

If you're particularly conscious of your stomach (I am too!) have a look for something you can wear in bed that gives access to your boobs and fanjo, but covers up the bits you're a bit unsure of. Like a basque or teddy - look for one with soft cups that you can pull your boobs out of.

Youve got this!

Where did you meet him? Do you know him well?
I wouldn't jump into anything. Judging by threads on here, a lot of men seem to chase, DTD, then ghost. Your self-esteem could do without a knock.

Great advice from @EvenMoreFuriousVexation!
And have confidence in yourself. I bet you are lovely . Lucky him I say!

@oohmamama Thought it spoke for itself ... it's not just about looks.

Wow @EvenMoreFuriousVexation 's advice is brilliant

I know how you feel! My bf loves my wobbly bits.. I have no idea why because I think they are very unattractive but I have noticed he seems to enjoy my curves(putting it nicely).
Just try to relax and enjoy the moment rather than worrying what he is thinking because I'm sure he finds you very lovely in ways you can't imagine.

Advice from @EvenMoreFuriousVexation is spot on.

Unless you’ve been wearing a tent, he will have a fair idea of what you look like naked, go for the teddy 👍🏼

I have met hundreds of couples doing a job involving meeting lots of people in couples. It's really rare to meet a couple where the man is much more attractive than the woman. The other way round is common 🙄. So I suggest that's evidence you are putting yourself down and you are in fact lovely.

Except I have pretty much been wearing a tent as we've only been on outside dates and my coat is a huge puffy thing! I think I'm in my head way too much.

[quote ravenmum]@oohmamama Thought it spoke for itself ... it's not just about looks.[/quote]

How on earth do you know she doesn't think her husband is the most beautiful man on the planet? Because he's disabled she couldn't possibly?

Such a weird connection to make between a man with MD and a woman with a bit of a mum tum.

I honestly thought you'd accidentally cut and pasted that on here as it was so bloody tone deaf if not!

He obviously finds you attractive even if you don't see it yourself, if he's a kind man and handsome then you are very lucky.

[quote ravenmum]www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/jul/13/how-we-met-its-1300-miles-to-romania-the-same-as-the-number-of-pounds-my-phone-bill-was[/quote]
I missed this. Slightly odd to compare a disabled person to someone who is a just bit fat...

How on earth do you know she doesn't think her husband is the most beautiful man on the planet? Because he's disabled she couldn't possibly?
She clearly does think he's amazing, or they wouldn't be in the Guardian describing their amazing romance. That's the point of the article. Why would you draw from that that I think she can't possibly find him attractive?

I was just reading that, then switched back to MN, and here's someone with a slight mum tum complaining about how her body has been ravaged by childbirth. I thought a little perspective might help. If you think it's unsuitable, feel free to report my post.

@ravenmum

How on earth do you know she doesn't think her husband is the most beautiful man on the planet? Because he's disabled she couldn't possibly? She clearly does think he's amazing, or they wouldn't be in the Guardian describing their amazing romance. That's the point of the article. Why would you draw from that that I think she can't possibly find him attractive?

I was just reading that, then switched back to MN, and here's someone with a slight mum tum complaining about how her body has been ravaged by childbirth. I thought a little perspective might help. If you think it's unsuitable, feel free to report my post.

Just because some people have severe burns, doesn't mean I can't be self conscious about my body. I have inch wide stretch marks from my pelvis to my breasts. I just think using an article about a burns victim to give me perspective and make me feel better is a little distasteful. Or maybe I'm just sensitive which I will readily admit!

I think some pp are jumping to the conclusion that you must look undatable, you are just a bit insecure of your tummy, very normal worries of most women
I'm sure you must have a lovely face/ hair to have attracted him and a personality to keep the connection going. It's amazing what a couple of weeks of sensible eating and a bit exercise can do for your confidence, no need to rush into any physical just yet.

Just because some people have severe burns, doesn't mean I can't be self conscious about my body
Of course not.

I’m calling stealth boast

Lucky you OP

(I am also a slightly wobbly rounded woman with a sexy fit musclular tall handsome man. He married me and tells me I’m beautiful every day. He might need his eyes tested but it’s lovely for now and when I fully embrace it I feel confident and on top of the world)

I'm sure you must have a lovely face/ hair to have attracted him
Or maybe he likes OP's writing style, or her cheekiness, or her sexy French accent, or the way she wiggles her eyebrow, or her giggle, or her wickedly sharp tongue, or her kindness, or her incredible morals, or a hundred other things.