Scared to tell his friend about me

[Turnipnose]

I need some objective advice on this. I’ve never had any jealousy issues in a relationship but am being told I have issues with other women that are friends with my boyfriend of a year and he is scared to mention them but a lot of this started after he told me he was scared to tell his close female friend that he had met someone and was scared to upset her. I found that a bit odd? Can anyone talk some sense into me? I am now having counselling for this issue of me being jealous.

Just dump him, he sounds a right wanker.

If you were just being jealous, and he was innocent of anything, he would of already ended it with you. No innocent person would put up with irrational jealousy, so that is not what this is.
Also, if he can't tell his friend about you, it's because he knows she likes him as more than a friend, that's the only reason a woman could be upset about you. So at best, he's keeping a woman as a friend knowing all the while she wants more - nasty. But at worst, she could be his other GF.
You only have his version to go off, and as you have never met, it sounds like there has been a lot of mentionitis on his part for a person whose meant to be platonic.
I'd say he likes twisting the knife and telling you about going out to dinner with her, and all the type of emotional things they talk about, is designed to make you jealous. He could of said nothing, you'd be non the wiser, he could of claimed she knows about you, but instead has gleefully informed you that you are a secret.
I would not be surprised if she does actually know about you, but has been spun the same line about her needing to be secret, so you never interact and find out the truth of the matter.
Is there any way you could make contact with her via social media? He's likely conditioned you to not attempt this, and the fallout will likely bring all this to an end, but as you really should end this anyway, you've got nothing to lose but could at least get some closure from finding out the truth, which is that it's not you, it's him and always was him playing with your mind.

@DarthWeeder

So your boyfriend is “scared” to tell his female friends that he has a girlfriend, because he doesn’t want to upset them?

And he’s convinced you that you’re the problem, so much so that you’re having counselling for your “jealousy” issues?

Run. Like the wind. The hills are that way >>>

this 1000 times

If a bf drives you to need therapy then he isn't a keeper.

Theres nothing wrong with having one or maybe two close female friends provided you get to meet them. But no way would I let a relationship get past the 6 month mark and not have met any close female friends he talked about.

He is keeping you a secret from this woman which implies either she is his fuck buddy or something more. OR worse, he wants you to suspect that, so that when you start to ask about it, he can call you crazy.

So at best he is a cheat and at worst, a headfucker.

It sounds like narcissistic triangulation tbh. When the narcissist/similarly personality disordered, plats women off against eachother. Uses talk of one woman to make another feel 'not enough'.

Hus behaviour is deceitful and sneaky and manipulative. You are not the problem.

Get rid of the creep.

He doesn’t even talk about her or meeting up with her, it’s always a snippet he tells me by mistake and then he says more. Why would someone be this determined to keep us separate. He says we can meet after lockdown but we could have gone for a meal or a walk in the summer together. Ugh anyway I’m venting now, thanks for the replies I feel like a mug I really do.