So I went on a date with a guy (he's in his 40's, I'm in my mid 30's) went for a walk and he was complimenting me on how I looked that day saying I was just his type. I asked for some clarification and he went on to say what he usually finds attractive and what he doesn't, and mentioned something along the lines of "I don't like fat girls or black girls, I'm not racist I just know what I like and don't in a partner". He went on to say he went on a date with a black woman and they didn't click.
Anyway, I didn't know whether he was talking about preferences so I thought I'd give him the benefit of doubt. On a separate occasion during a conversation we stumble on the topic of BGT. He asked what I thought about Diversity's dance. I hadn't seen it. He said he had nothing against the message, that he agreed with it but didn't like the fact they used the platform to 'lecture' people on a political message- that "People wanted to watch BGT for fun and to see a good dance not get lectured at".
He showed me on his phone and I honestly thought nothing of it- good dance and great message. BGT is shit to me anyway.
He continued to say he had nothing wrong to say about the message- hates that people experience racism and then added "some of the nicest people I know are black" and told me about this one kid he went to school with "lovely guy- good as gold"
He then talked about how an Mp was done for using the term 'nitty gritty' and how he never knew it was linked to slavery.
Fast forward to later in the day. We talk about stand up comedy and who we like and don't like. He mentioned that his friend was going out with a local stand up comedian, that was a generally an unpleasant man, treated her badly, and who was crap at comedy and that he always goes for cheap laughs and talks about his experiences of being black in his material, like there is nothing else he can find material on. I asked what his name was so I can watch and he told me whilst rolling his eyes ( as if to say 'no surprises there')
We watch Tv and this show was on with a couple from the Caribbean and he says "how can she be so much lighter than him when they're both from the Caribbean- mad isn't it? (he then proceeded to talk about the slave trade and Britain's involvement and how essentially it was survival of the fittest for those that ended up in the Carribbean- and how the whole thing was brutal)
This man tells me he believes in social justice, has fought in the military, always steps in when he sees someone being treated unfairly and has said that he believes we are all equal and should all be treated with respect. So much so that he left the military because he didn't like what was happening to the citizens there and felt it was all unfair.
It's getting me all confused. Is he ignorant, racist or neither?
I'd like to ask him a question or give him a hypothetical scenario to finally know what he truly is.