Do you feel loved after sex?

[Sunnydaysarefun]

Sorry I have to post this here as I can’t post on the sex forum, so I hope this is okay?

My husband has been my only partner and me his.
We have a very healthy sex life but we have what I would call “porn sex”. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy it, I absolutely do but I don’t feel loved after it. There is a lot of kissing involved and cuddles.

I think I would feel loved if it was just kissing, cuddling and sex without everything else. It’s been that long since we had sex like that.

I hope I’m making sense with what I’m saying lol. Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

What do you mean by porn sex?

You don't have to be graphic but enough to where we get what you mean.

I've tried some of the other stuff but honestly, I only want the kissing, cuddling and straightforward sex. It's that type of sex which makes me feel loved.

Porn sex? Swinging from chandeliers whilst covered in whipped cream?

Porn sex?

Absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

Does it feel like a performance? Like it's more about how it looks than how it feels? Is it about what makes you feel good, or about what he wants to do?

But on a more serious note, I read once that if you feel alone whilst having sex, you are having it with the wrong person.

I hope that helpsz

What's porn sex? Is he making you do things you don't want to?

Do you feel secure in the relationship, sex aside? Maybe that's the problem.

What do you mean by porn sex?

I mean loads of oral, changing positions. Sorry I don’t know what else to call it other than porn sex.

I do feel good during and after, just not loved? My husband isn’t selfish at all, and I certainly don’t feel alone after it.

Sounds like normal sex to me and you get lots of kisses and cuddles and say he's not selfish - what more do you actually want, how could you feel more loved?

That’s odd. Maybe you’re not really compatible? Oral and changing positions is completely normal.

It’s just good sex then. So do you feel loved at other times by your husband, unrelated to sex? What does ‘love’ mean to you?

I thought it was normal to mix it up- you do porn type sex every time? Doesn’t that get a boring- mix it up and say next time you want to go slooooow

OP are u essentially saying u want less sex and more love making? If so yes I get what u mean as to me there is a difference

Sex has never made me feel loved. I don't equate the two at all.

It sounds like your sex sessions are very active!

I understand what you mean op.

Sometimes me and DH are like this and it's great, feels amazing and left feeling very satisfied but the emotional connection is missing.

I think I know what you mean OP...I mean you can have good sex that achieves orgasms but it can still feel quite clinical, or a means to an end, and oral sex for some can feel quite distancing compared to say full body contact sex with lots of eye contact and deep awareness of each other.

I guess you can have different types of sex, sometimes it can feel more emotional and connected than at other times - is that what you feel you're missing?

Doesn’t sound much like porn, which would probably involve pretending he’s your stepson (or you’re his stepdaughter / neighbour’s wife / whatever), definitely not a lot of kissing or cuddling and likely him “finishing” in your face or across your chest or back.

Lots of positions, kissing, cuddling and making sure you enjoy it sounds like love to me.

The sex you described sounds completely vanilla - I thought you were going to talk about kinks and fetishes in the BDSM region (whips, handcuffs, anal, torture etc). Have you actually watched a lot of porn? What do you need to make you feel loved? Have you ever had sex (or a moment within sex) where you DO feel loved - and if so, what was different about that particular time to all the other instances where you've had sex?

@MackemLass79

OP are u essentially saying u want less sex and more love making? If so yes I get what u mean as to me there is a difference

Yes perfect. You mean you want lovemaking. Passion, two souls entwined where you only see each other and nothing else. Sigh 😁😍

Have you ever had this op?

I think I see what you mean.

Do you feel like you can take the lead next time and show him what you want?

Sometimes it's really just nice to kiss and caress and have nice lovemaking face to face or spooning.

No gymnastics or it feeling like a performance.

I thought you meant a bit rough op, choking/slapping/dirty talk/anal that kind of stuff. What you described is just normal sex (or what I would consider normal sex), and you kiss and cuddle, so I don't know what else you'd expect really!

What @ErickBroch and lots of other previous posters have said.