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Original poster

Aibu- dp waking kids up

45 replies

Dinosaursobsessedson · 24/02/2021 22:27

Aibu in asking dp to not go upstairs for half an hour after son has gone up? He thinks im being ridiculous i think hes being a twat
Tonight he went up for a bath woke dc as he was just going off to sleep causing dc to come out of his room saying daddy you woke me up,
This caused dp to shout get in f*cking bed now!!
I had words with dp, he says im disciplining him how i want, your too soft.
I told him i want it calm at night and i hold off going upstairs until I know they’re asleep sorry for the ramble

OP posts:
YRGAM · 24/02/2021 22:31

You are being unreasonable to not go upstairs - your son needs to learn to sleep with distractions - but your biggest problem is that your husband is swearing at your son. Make sure he never does it again!

Kanaloa · 24/02/2021 22:33

Going upstairs is fine, although obviously having the courtesy to be quiet as you would if anyone was sleeping at home. Screaming at a child to get in fucking bed is utterly unacceptable.

Tippytaps · 24/02/2021 22:42

Screaming and swearing at your son is not acceptable!

I disagree with PP, some people find it more difficult to get off to sleep than others. Your son needing peace and quiet for 30 minutes is hardly a sacrifice! I think your DH is uncaring.

Kabakofte · 24/02/2021 22:43

It's not sustainable to have upstairs off limits and your dc needs to learn to settle with background noise BUT what your DP said is unforgiveable, who speaks to a young child like that?? What a bully

ineedaholidaynow · 24/02/2021 22:57

Swearing at your child is not acceptable.

How old is your child, what time is bedtime?

Theunamedcat · 24/02/2021 23:03

Its half an hour not all night honestly my son usually needed half an hour from falling asleep then I could hoover next to him sing fucking karaoke if I wanted to but he needed that window to properly go to sleep ive literally dressed the child and taken him shopping in his pushchair when he was younger he didn't wake up

girlmummy25 · 24/02/2021 23:04

Yabu to say not to go upstairs but yanbu to ask him to hold off running the bath! I wouldnt want my DP running a bath while my DD tries to sleep in a room across a hall. He should keep the noise down anyway if they are in bed... thats just common courtesy!
Swearing at your DS when he is the one who woke him is unfair!

SnarkyBag · 24/02/2021 23:17

Your problem is having a cunt of a husband that verbally abuses a child for getting out of bed.

Kittykat93 · 24/02/2021 23:26

Christ your husband swore at your son just for getting out of bed?? How sad to read. Cant imagine ever swearing at my child.

HellonHeels · 24/02/2021 23:31

Your partner is revolting. Arent you horrified and upset at the way he treated your little child?

SandyY2K · 24/02/2021 23:39

Swearing is discipline is it now. Your poor son.

Magnificentmug12 · 24/02/2021 23:49

How can you tell a adult part of their own home is off limits and because a child is trying to get to sleep- that’s ridiculous!! Your son needs to learn to fall asleep without everyone creeping around him.

I wouldn’t hold off running a bath either
Yabu.

However he should not have swore at your son, that’s disgusting!

Do you moan about this every night? I imagine he meant to swear at you but took it out on your son instead as he felt he “got him into trouble”

Still doesn’t make it right though.

Blacklillies · 25/02/2021 00:13

I don't think YABU.
If your DP was trying to sleep and DS came upstairs making a noise / running a bath, I bet he would get sworn at then too.

My DS is finding it difficult to get sleep at the moment, it's been like this throughout lockdown, he's not tired as he's not doing a-lot throughout the day, he's on online learning all day etc...
I have too asked my DP to keep the noise level down for half an hour or so whilst DS nods off.

Original poster
Dinosaursobsessedson · 25/02/2021 06:53

Thanks
Hes 8 and he’s being assessed for adhd / autism
He is very particular and likes his routine so anything different distrupts him, i put him up at 8pm, other dc was already asleep in the same room from 7pm,
Its a v small house and bathroom is next to dc shared bedroom.
maybe i was being unreasonable but myself I would have waited to ensure he was asleep at a reasonable time. He is still up going to school early as i am a key worker.
And yes inwas v upset at him being swore at an also concerned about my other dc being woken too in all the shouting which could have been avoided

OP posts:
Swordfish1 · 25/02/2021 07:01

Yanbu to ask your dh to give his child half an hour to get to sleep. Some dc need it quiet in order to nod off and not be distracted by noise. It’s only half an hour! Surely his bath could’ve waited. I think he was incredibly selfish, given your dad finds it hard to get off to sleep if there’s noise. Every dc is different and sometimes you just need to do what is best and easiest.
As for him sweating at him! Wow! That’s disgusting behaviour. I think your dh is a complete dick. Sorry op.

DinosaurDiana · 25/02/2021 07:04

When mine were little we would not go back upstairs after they had gone to bed, until we went to bed. I don’t think it’s unreasonable.

Staffroomdoughnut · 25/02/2021 07:07

YANBU.
I avoid rummaging about upstairs for a while after bedtime.
I’d not be able to view my husband the same if he swore at dc this though.
I’d log this and if it happened again be thinking of going. It is verbal abuse and not acceptable.

Myheadmyheart · 25/02/2021 07:08

Are they his children?

Myheadmyheart · 25/02/2021 07:08

Still vile behaviour towards your little boy.

FishWithoutABike · 25/02/2021 07:10

Bit of a drip feed there. If it bothers you son it seems reasonable to let him sleep without too much noise. I know some people are more sweary than others but telling an 8 year old to get to fucking bed Shock

Quartz2208 · 25/02/2021 07:15

I think not having a bath (which is really noisy) as someone is trying to go to sleep is reasonable

His response is awful he should not be disciplining in that way

hellywelly3 · 25/02/2021 07:33

He’s a knob he knows he’s a knob that’s why he got angry when that fact was proved correct. Swearing at a child shows he’s a bully.

LochNessSwim · 25/02/2021 07:53

So sad to hear his nasty response to your son. What a horrible man!! Is he usually awful with how he speak to you and your DC?

icecreamSooda · 25/02/2021 08:02

Why did he feel the need to swear at your ds? Is this normal language he uses around them?

My dp is terrible for making noise after our dc are in bed. They have got used to it now and it doesn't wake them but it did and it used to annoy me.

Tempusfudgeit · 25/02/2021 08:12

What a revolting man. Your poor children.