Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

For those thinking of ending their marriages, I have this to share.

67 replies

Tankflybosswalkjam · 23/02/2021 16:45

Let me set the scene.

You’ve arranged to go out. You don’t particularly want to go and are not particularly blown away by what you’ll be wearing, or who else will be there. But you’ve still got to go anyway.
And it’s raining and cold. And you’ve got a headache or it’s the first day of a monstrous period.
And the house is especially tidy and quiet and fragrant. The lighting is low, everywhere is cosy. You have clean sheets on the bed, maybe a hot water bottle. Fresh cotton pjs are warming on the radiator. There’s a bottle of wine in the kitchen if you want, a good book you’re really into, and you won’t be disturbed, but still you have to dress up, and go and be pleasant. The clothes feel too tight, there’s a spot coming on your chin, the taxi is a bit late and it’s now pissing down.

And then you get a text to say the event is cancelled. Grin

You know that deep deep relief when something you just don’t want to do, doesn’t have to be done, and you can hop into bed and just breathe?

That’s what ending my marriage feels like. I was scared witless and yet it’s actually wondrous.

That’s all.

OP posts:
3rdNamechange · 24/02/2021 12:14

Beautifully written OP

Reiningitin · 24/02/2021 12:53

It's been over 3 years for me and yes there isn't a day goes by that I don't think to myself how relaxed and myself I am without him.

Summerisneardontfear · 24/02/2021 13:09

That scene doesn't sound too appealing just now since any night out sounds exotic 😊
Seriously though couldn't agree more and so glad you have found your peace!!

crochetmonkey74 · 24/02/2021 14:17

I've been in the tears and heartbreak stage but there are flickers of this coming through for me now OP

CookieClub · 24/02/2021 14:34

Well done for escaping your abusive relationship, you sound really happy.

I was just about to start a pity post because I miss my husband Sad

He moved out a year ago, but due to having young children and the lockdown, we bubbled together and spent a lot of lockdown around each other. I feel really blue now that the world is opening back up, thinking ahead to 'family holidays' being no more, days out being separate etc....I feel desperately sad about it if I'm honest.

Pinkbubbles12 · 24/02/2021 15:09

This is great to read. My husband isn't a bad person but im so unhappy. My kids will be devastated i just don't no what to do

Magicalsundays · 24/02/2021 19:55

I am happier on the day I’m unhappy on my own then the happiest days I spent in my abusive relationship. There is lies the irony - my happiest with him wasn’t real, always egg shells always waiting for his mood or his parents to be abusive and although I still have him needling me every so often - he can only do through it through a text that I can turn off! I don’t have to sleep in the same house as it! 😂

Thisisworsethananticpated · 25/02/2021 09:09

# Magicalsundays

Oh yes . I actually don’t know how I survived , really don’t know

Looking back I escaped , hours at work and then out and about most weekend , didn’t stop him exploding

That horrible heart beating and stomach when he kicked off
All
The
Time

Shudders

Summerisneardontfear · 26/02/2021 09:16

@Pinkbubbles12

This is great to read. My husband isn't a bad person but im so unhappy. My kids will be devastated i just don't no what to do
What kept me for years was this exact thought about kids and I have to say, mine are doing absolutely great, over a year down the line now. Kids are resilient creatures, you have to make yourself happy
Flippingthebird · 26/02/2021 10:57

Well I’ve done it!!! I’ve kicked him out! The last straw was when he woke me up at 6am yesterday morning to have a go about something and told me i deserve a slap and I’m a lazy cunt. And my daughter heard. I let him stay on the sofa one more night but hid my house keys and I find out this morning he was messaging some woman who seems to post porn pics and videos on Facebook! Lovely!

Anyway I’m looking forward to this evening when he’s collected his stuff and I can lock my door pour a glass of wine and look forward to the rest of my life with my babies....

MackenCheese · 26/02/2021 11:20

@Flippingthebird

Well I’ve done it!!! I’ve kicked him out! The last straw was when he woke me up at 6am yesterday morning to have a go about something and told me i deserve a slap and I’m a lazy cunt. And my daughter heard. I let him stay on the sofa one more night but hid my house keys and I find out this morning he was messaging some woman who seems to post porn pics and videos on Facebook! Lovely!

Anyway I’m looking forward to this evening when he’s collected his stuff and I can lock my door pour a glass of wine and look forward to the rest of my life with my babies....

You genius! Enjoy your glass of wine 🍷 and the best of luck to you.
Flippingthebird · 26/02/2021 11:50

@MackenCheese thank you, it’s like a cloud has been lifted I feel happy but heartbroken at the same time, but most of all I feel positive for once.

Wakingup55643 · 26/02/2021 12:27

This is immense @Flippingthebird Well done you! Enjoy the rest of your life!!! Flowers

Coffeeandbananas · 26/02/2021 12:28

May have to screenshot this. Thank you 😊

Flippingthebird · 26/02/2021 12:43

@ Wakingup55643 thank you

DemandTheBest · 26/02/2021 12:46

The best thing about clean bed linen is not having someone’s hair smell on your pillows - the scent of hair that gets washed regularly but never quite thoroughly enough... and the same with skin smells... what is the point of having a daily shower if you’re not properly soaping and rinsing all parts of yourself? Maybe it’s just about appearing as though you washed, similar to the way young children hurry things. Bye Felicia to that!

Tankflybosswalkjam · 26/02/2021 12:47

Flippingthebird well done

I’m so sorry he behaved that way. But now you absolutely know he’s history and can get on with the rest of your life. X x x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page