Sorry, it's another sex thread! New man is lovely but there is a problem with the sex side of things.

[Littleproblem]

I have name changed here as I have never started a sex thread before & am a bit on the embarrassed side, but we do have a little problem!

I have recently started seeing a lovely man who is a breath of fresh air after coming out of a bad marriage. We have been together nearly 3 months now, and I really like him a lot, but there is a problem with the sexual side of things...he is very very quick!
The first time I put it down to nerves, but things haven't improved greatly over time.
He was previously married for 10 years, and he claims that he didn't suffer in this way with his ex wife, but whenever we have intercourse, it is over in seconds!

Not quite sure what to do about this one, as it is not a problem I have had in the past.

He is a lovely man, and I like him a lot, so don't want this problem to get in the way, so guess it needs addressing pretty soon.

Anyone got any great advice on this one?

Sorry about my lack of paragraphs - I am very tired!

Message withdrawn

Ok, well, there are some options here.

First of all, are you still getting orgasms? Just because he's come doesn't mean sex is finished. His tongue and his fingers must still work.

Second, it could be this is the thrill of the new ... there are sex therapy techniques that work for this, but I gather they're best practiced with professional help.

He is quite good with the foreplay (unlike my ex husband!), and is concerned about me enjoying myself, but I don't have orgasms easily.

Guess it may still be the thrill of the new for him. He says I turn him on too much, but not sure how, as I don't do that much to him beforehand, for fear of him coming before the event!

Chris is it me posting???

I've changed my name too

You could be me four years ago and I have done nothing and its still as bad!

We joke about it and his getting help and the fact that he never had the problem before but he hasn't done anything about getting help and I really wish he would!

You need to sort it now rather than later (thats great advice coming from me ha ha).

Thanks for the thread - it may make me push him more to get help

Oh, and the foreplay is ok and he makes sure I have had an orgasm but I agree with you - I hardly dare touch him before.

We do have a five month old baby so it all works as it should

Get him to 'sort himself out' before you meet up?
May make him last longer?

I feel all giggley posting this

Viagra can be fabbo at delaying orgasm in men. Gp might prescribe privately.

And there are various tricks - look some up on the internet

As long as you are discussing it together, you should be okay.

I think it's unlikely that it hasn't happened before to them (I mean, don't blame yourselves, whatever you do!)

do it again afterwards and it should last a bit longer!
when he feels like he's getting close stop for a minuter and then start again.
you go on top so you are more in control of how fast/deep etc

just realised that i sound like i know what i'm talking about, and i don't but my sis had the same problem with her man and the doctor told him about the stop/start thing

I thought it very unlikely that it hadn't happened before too, although I don't think he had had that much experience before he met me.

Doing it again doesn't work for us either as apparently it takes him ages to "reload" - his words not mine and by then I have gone off the idea.

Just off now to google for some ideas

yes , they stop start thing was what I was going to suggest.

'apparently it takes him ages to "reload" '

Sorry about sounding sceptical, but does this sound like he's had enough and satisfied?
Forgive me if I'm wrong.

Stop start thing sounds like a good idea. Might try it with me starting on top next time, as he normally starts (and quickly finishes!) on top, and we rarely get round to changing position as it's over too quick!

Tried the second time sex thing, but he also takes far too long to reload too!

Have you tried getting him to think about a methematical problem whilst you two are at it?

My dh thinks about a fried breakfast

Or how about these ?

We bought them accidentally and they did...ahem...slow things right down.

Talk to him gently, its probably very embarrasing for him

Message withdrawn

The mathamatical problem is a good idea! Might suggest that!

Normal condoms don't slow him down at all, but those longer lasting ones look interesting. Do they just reduce sensation?

I will talk to him gently, paula. I am not making a big deal of it to him, but it is starting to concern me a little.

lol, Doodledootoo! That should do the trick!

What about putting a nice framed picture of his mother next to the bed?

Congratulations on your new relationship!
Have you googled 'premature ejaculation'?
Try this page

Otherwise, perhaps you could try looking less gorgeous!

"Some women" don't mind the penetrative part of the evening being quite short - his wife might not have had an issue with this

Viagra is well worth a try - it makes a lot of men struggle to orgasm at all which can be rather fun

I was watching 21st Century Girls guide to Sex the other night and they said that men can also tighten up their pelvic floor muscles and this can help with their control. He probably thinks it just has a mind of its own but he can 'butt in' apparently.