Boyfriend on hookup site

[Peace43]

I think I know the answer to this one but before I say anything why don’t you ladies (and gents) tell me how this is going to go....
I met my partner (both were single) on Fab (a swingers hookup site) over 18 months ago. We’ve been exclusive since although we did consider including others for a while and created a joint profile on fab. We eventually agreed not to proceed. About 9 months ago I noticed via our joint profile that my boyfriend’s personal profile was still active. We discussed it, he said he wanted us to close the joint profile and I expressed my concerns about him still using his personal profile. He said he just looks at profiles idly now and then but didn’t message anyone.

I had an idle curiosity last night (prompted by another mumsnet thread) to just pop onto Fab and see if he was still active and his profile was last logged into 16hrs previously. I checked again today and it was accessed 3hrs previously.

If I ask him about this what do you think he’s going to say? I’d just like to see the script in advance because I’m quite sure he’ll be convincing....

Yes, I would expect people are on that site because that is what they're into.
The guy is into that so it isn't surprising he is still on the site looking to hookup.

He may have meant exclusive for you but not for him. Men seem to keep their options open regardless of what they say.

you can’t convince me that someone looking for a committed relationship should be looking for it on a site KNOWN for swinging and be surprised that their partner is potentially swinging behind their back?!

@NotaCoolMum They weren't looking for a committed relationship, they ended up in one, as people do sometimes with friends/people they get to know.

We know that men cheating isn't reliant on someone having met them on Fab. Men women meet in all sorts of places go on to cheat.

Yes, I would expect people are on that site because that is what they're into.

Having hookups when single? I assume you know that not only people on Fab have them.

I think men genuinely dont think they are doing anything wrong when they do go on sites and “look”. I suspect he will think just looking is perfectly fine hes not intending to meet anyone...

I don’t know why you would think a man you met on a swingers website was going to stay monogamous to you ! Shocked NOT shocked .

I think men genuinely dont think they are doing anything wrong when they do go on sites and “look”. I suspect he will think just looking is perfectly fine hes not intending to meet anyone

As we've seen on threads here all too often, most of the time these 'just looking' men are actually messaging, anyway.

I don’t know why you would think a man you met on a swingers website was going to stay monogamous to you ! Shocked NOT shocked .

People who were swingers can be monogamous, too. Have you been 'pure' your whole life? Do you think that people who have had a previous partner in their lives are 'not the kind of girl you'll take home to your mother,' want to marry etc?

OP was on there too and it doesn't mean she can't be monogamous or is untrustworthy.

People are not generally on Fab for a long term relationship, they are on there for either casual sex or FWB.

But sometimes you click with someone and move it on into a relationship.

I didnt join Fab for a relationship, I wanted a long term FWB and to also go to a swingers club.

I did both but the guy who was my long term FWB ended up becoming my boyfriend, neither were looking but we clicked and realised we would be good as a couple.

So as I was on Fab does that make me unwholesome or likely to cheat?
Of course it doesnt, when I was single I did what I liked, now I'm in a relationship I don't look for men to cheat with or do any of that.

He will say he's just curious or blame it on lockdown. Bin him OP he's untrustworthy.