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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Realised he's full of it

39 replies

Pepsistraw5 · 15/02/2021 07:31

I was supposed to be meeting someone this week for a walk. We have met before but have been messaging and phoning through lockdown. Really liked him. He says he really likes me.

I should have seen he was an idiot. Clearly not being fully honest or over the ex. I think they are definitely over. But they have a friendship. But the way he talks about her. So up and down. He's not over her. Infact I think he talks to her alot more than he's told me.

Last night we were on the phone. He sent me screen shots of his ex wife having ago at him. This is his ex from years ago not the current.

Then he says his brothers ex messaged him earlier.

Then he had a friend request from an old school friend he slept with two years ago. She was blocked last time he mentioned her!

Then he told me his wife had a twin who a couple of years ago despite being married started sending dirty stuff to him.

Then he was telling me how he's had the odd woman stalking him over the years. His cousin dealt with one for him. He then asked me if I can block these women's numbers.

Then back to his ex. She was telling him a couple of weeks ago she's bored. So I sarcastically suggested why don't you meet her. He said no I don't want her at mine she messes with my head. I've had the feeling all along he's not honest with me about her.

He then said he does message women but they are just friends.

This is the guy who's so into me. We Got of the phone and things just ended for me.

How the hell does a man in his 40s have such high standards of how women should be treated. He judges other men for cheating etc. Yet he's innocently just being harrassed by women.

Woken up this morning to his good morning message and the urge to tell him to sod of back to his ex is real.

Time to knock that one on the head. I can't believe at his age be thinks that any of it washes with Me.

Needed a rant!

OP posts:

PyjamaFan · 15/02/2021 07:37

He sounds like hard work. I agree, time to end it.

You dodged a bullet there!

TheQueef · 15/02/2021 07:40

How many women are chasing him?
Far too much stress, drop the baggage.

Original poster

Pepsistraw5 · 15/02/2021 07:42

I just can't believe him. He's all a woman should be treated properly and claims he's 100% in and wears his heart on his sleeve.

I can't believe someone his age can be such an idiot. I'm 15 years younger so who knows whether he's insecure. Showing off. Immature. Either way. It's the biggest put off for me.

Poor man can't stop women harrassing him on Facebook. Amazing how I'm much younger and whilst the odd random might say hi or send a request. I don't have these problems.

I think he needs therapy after listening to his rubbish last night. Four months we've spoken everyday for. He felt like a best friend. But I think he's slipped up and let his true colours show.

OP posts:

daisychain01 · 15/02/2021 07:44

Woken up this morning to his good morning message and the urge to tell him to sod of back to his ex is real.

Start your week off positively by telling him it's been great knowing him but you're in another relationship as of now but all the best for the future.

Don't get into a discussion about everything you've put in your OP but it's a good audit of exactly why you need to kick this one to the curb and not waste a second more of your life with him. How much more drama does he need ffs! He must be exhausted.

Good luck.

jackieweaverhasauthorityhere · 15/02/2021 07:46

Sounds like a he enjoys playing women off against each other and would like to keep you on the back foot thinking you have competition. Best avoided.

pumpkinpie01 · 15/02/2021 07:46

He wants you to think what a great catch he is that's why so many women chase him and the ex can't cut all ties with him . So you should be thinking yourself extremely lucky that he wants to be with you , not ! Just bin him now ,you will always be wondering what he's up to.

StephenBelafonte · 15/02/2021 07:48

daisychains idea is brilliant! Message him to say you've agreed to focus exclusively on another man . This has 2 advantages, 1 it ends it and 2 you take him down a peg - arrogant twat

Original poster

Pepsistraw5 · 15/02/2021 07:54

Without being big headed you'd think he would realise how lucky he was to have a chance with me.

There is nothing wrong with his she group. But he has a chance to be with a 32 year old. These women he's told me about are all around 50 and I have no opinion on them but obviously I am slightly more youthful. So if he wants me to feel threatened he's picked the wrong women to bother me with.

That said his ex is late 30s and attractive. Been abit fed up of hearing about her. They were together 9 years but I think she dumped him and he's never gotten over that. She's also had wobbles I think and has tested the waters. Again something not adding up with that.

I'm a little bit disappointed in myself as he made me feel like I was the first women he liked since her. He says he's really comfortable with me and we have got really close. But he keeps letting himself down with the other women rubbish.

I hope he didn't think it would make me want to cling to him. Because it's completely changed how I see him.

OP posts:

Moomoolandmoomooland · 15/02/2021 07:58

@jackieweaverhasauthorityhere

Sounds like a he enjoys playing women off against each other and would like to keep you on the back foot thinking you have competition. Best avoided.

Yup this is what I was thinking.

He wants to think he's so irresistible, he's fighting these women off with a big stick.

Original poster

Pepsistraw5 · 15/02/2021 08:02

Such a shame. How does he expect things to work out when he's filling my head up with other women. All he's done is made me doubt everything.

OP posts:

Cockenspiel · 15/02/2021 08:03

Whilst this bloke sounds like a complete twat who you will be well rid of.. You really don’t come across well here, comparing yourself as more youthful and measuring women on their ages, attractiveness and the desirability to men. Grow up.

daisychain01 · 15/02/2021 08:09

@Cockenspiel

Yes, the OP has lost the moral high-ground gloating about her age. Not a good look OP.

pictish · 15/02/2021 08:10

Is he a bit of a fantasist or do you think he likes to embellish the attention he gets? Perhaps he thinks you’ll see him as being hot property or in demand, so you’re more grateful or flattered that he has selected you?

I think it sounds like a lot of drama I couldn’t be arsed with. I’d leave him to the throng.

DinosaurDiana · 15/02/2021 08:11

With all these women after him he must look like an Adonis.

LawnFever · 15/02/2021 08:16

OP he sounds like a drama but you’re not doing yourself any favours comparing yourself to other women you don’t even know based on age.

He sounds awful, full of shit and I’d back off from him too but your last post doesn’t put you in a good light either

ScaredOfDinosaurs · 15/02/2021 08:20

It's a game to make you compete for his affection.

How tedious. Your instincts are correct, get rid.

LaVitaPuoEsserePiuBella · 15/02/2021 08:20

Nothing more boring than a date who moans about his ex. Walk away from him, and don't waste any more time trying to analyse it.

hulloall · 15/02/2021 08:29

He sounds like a total prat.

He's obviously massively insecure and trying to make you think he's a huge catch, or he's trying to make you jealous.

Either way, it's pathetic for his age. Fair enough if he was 18 or something.

Definitely ditch him. I would message him and be honest about the reasons why as well. Maybe he will take a good look at himself and not be such a tit with the next woman x

Sparkletastic · 15/02/2021 08:38

God how annoying! I'd text him something along the lines of ' Your constant mentions of other women have helped me to realise that you aren't the man for me. Good luck and goodbye.'

PyjamaFan · 15/02/2021 08:48

You just lost all my sympathy by comparing women by age.

Just because you are in your 30s it doesn't mean you are better than women in their 40s and 50s.

You sound very immature.

pictish · 15/02/2021 08:50

I agree. If you decide that he’s not worth the bother be sure to tell him why. Don’t be shy about it. Say that the drama surrounding all these other women is a complete turn off and you’re not interested in entertaining any of it.

Destinyknown · 15/02/2021 08:51

You've got the ick.

He sounds like an idiot. Although I would always say be honest I think this time, if you are, he may kick off and be dramatic. Might not be worth it.

AnyFucker · 15/02/2021 08:54

Oh, I dunno. You sound like you could be made for each other

TheoriginalLEM · 15/02/2021 09:00

You sound perfect for him

combatbarbie · 15/02/2021 09:08

He then asked me to block these women's numbers. What a bizarre request and makes it look like there's more to it.

He seems to thrive on attention. although why he's telling you, is weird, is he bragging?

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