Hate OLD!

[Newsinglemum58]

Don't think I can do OLD. Tried it a number of times and always end up deleting my profile. I just hate it..... fake profiles, creepy guys, avoidant men or are only out to waste your time....

In these times it's not exactly easy meeting people in everyday life.... what other options are there or should I buy a few cats and give up now?!

Ful of pretensions men on hinge. Met a man from Brighton or somewhere close. He was a public speaker. Really full of himself. He has a supersized stonker of a nose that made him genuinely look like a comic but on our chats seemed funny so I wanted to meet him. Turned out he was looking for someone who earned alot more money. Also had tonnes of female friends he spoke of on the date that cooked for him as he lived alone and they lived nearby. Such a complete wierdo. PS: Would take a woman who really really loved him to ever feel they wanted to snog him 😂

Oh me too. It’s awful. I really start to wonder how so many men get by with such shocking conversion skills.

My usual pattern is to download them and delete without 5 days.

I am thinking maybe in 2022 I will use speed dating instead

Me too. I never seem to find anyone through OLD. Has anyone tried remote speed dating. Keen to try something different but not sure if it's just the same people as on the apps?

I feel the same.....

I have learned to have a really strict criteria of what I won't accept and am upfront in saying so.

I don't bother to reply to conversations with one word answers, I don't talk to anyone newly single, or anyone with young DC - just some of my preferences.

STILL get my time wasted. A lot.

I've been on and off it over the last few years, have had a year long relationship via Tinder so it really can work, but hey I'm single now 😂

I am testing Bumble and Tinder but my heart isn't really in it given my last relationship recently ended and I felt we had a brilliant connection. Not sure how to meet anyone given the state of the world but perhaps I'll need to start looking presentable when doing the school run (if schools ever go back).....

Tinder seems to have the biggest numbers.

Reading through I am genuinely confused with so many woman wanting FWB (Fuck buddies). I know men are always out for that but they have to usually lie and say they are looking for a late, marriage, life partner etc to get it then dump woman at around the 3-6 month before catching feelings.

Don't get why any woman who make it so cheap and easy for men by admitting they want Feb. Isn't it telling them...you don't need attention, spoiling, romancing, time invested but etc...that you are happy with a text and into the bed? Why aren't woman demanding more??

You never have to tell a man you want FWB because they lie to get. Chances are any relationship you think you are in early days is FWB anyway but he is giving you some benefits by working a little bit for it. Why let him have his benefits and just put out for him. Nothing in it for you. I find it really wierd.

PS : typo above. Late was meant to read LTR

@mumieone I don’t think you realise that some women love sex but do not want the hassle of a relationship and prefer sex with someone they can trust. Which is why fwb is appealing. Not all women want a partner but that doesn’t mean they cannot enjoy a good sex life

Strange attitude @mumieone.

Everyone is different. I hate fakery, and I don’t have the time of patience for someone to “spoil” me to get me to “put out”.

If I want to have sex with someone, I will. Honestly and as two consenting adults. I feel my value is very high, not in the slightest bit cheap.

Sorry — time or patience.

Funnily enough, I’ve found the men I have had these types of relationships with have invariably developed feelings first.

Ivs deleted hinge full of odd men.

I definitely agree with you Ramona

There are times in my life where I don't want a full blown relationship and of course I am entitled to "just have sex" with a consenting adult

I met my husband online, been together 9 years, 2 kids and very happy.

I was his only online date, I'd had a year or so online. I was really strict on who I'd message/ reply to. It's normally obvious when it's a cut and pasted message (mostly too long!) so they'd get blocked. Anyone who only had selfies as pictures- loner, block.

I instigated setting up a first date quickly too to weed out those who just want to message and no more after been frustrated by weeks of messages and then excuse after excuse to not meet.

Invisiblewoman1 ...sex with a man you can trust. How can you trust someone you meet online for Feb if you haven't taken enough time to know them. Then if you are taking the time you are dating. If you are dating for some time it's a relationship. A relationship that is going no where with no strings attached.

Hook up is different. That's like a man calling up a yellow pages advert and hooking up in a hotel for the night or getting a girl off tinder and getting it on for the night after a few drinks - same thing accept it's free.

Sorry Feb ...FWB

Yellow pages !?

Oh dear

Cats is a great option.

Have you thought about using an agency?

Thats what I did, it wasn’t as cringey as I thought it would be when the agency are getting to know you etc to build a profile. The one I used would ‘match’ you, but they also put on events you could attend as well. It was also specifically for those looking for a longterm monogamous relationship.

My story is like @SpongeBobJudgeyPants I went to a few singles events but I’m quite quiet around new people so I found it hard, I turned down 2/3 matches suggested by the agency by making shit excuses. I then finally agreed to meet someone they had suggested as a match, we’re getting married in April (yes I am in denial that covid has cancelled our wedding).

On Skynews on Thursday/Friday there was a lady interviewed. She met man online during lockdown.

3 weeks chatting.
1 date outdoors and another date the very next day (where he said marry me and she said YES).
No surprise he has moved into HER home.

No I don't think that's fate or fairytale I think it's dangerous and she seems vulnerable as most do with this whole lockdown having isolated so many.

[quote Invisiblewoman1]@mumieone I don’t think you realise that some women love sex but do not want the hassle of a relationship and prefer sex with someone they can trust. Which is why fwb is appealing. Not all women want a partner but that doesn’t mean they cannot enjoy a good sex life[/quote]
This.... I would like a relationship though but yes while I am unable to meet anyone who wants the same this seems to be the best option... not ideal at all as feelings get involved. Men seem better at the distant thing and the longer they've been single the harder to give up that lifestyle? I read a book re attachment styles of men on OLD and apparently lots of avoidant attachment style hence wanting FWB ??

I first started online dating 4 and a half years ago. Since then, I've been on and off it in equal measure.
I remember the first time I did it. It was new, exciting, a bit magical even. The longer you do it, the more jaded you become. My issue is that I will never be able to recapture those feelings from the beginning. It has really never been the same for me since.

My 3 weeks of OLD left me feeling tainted by mediocrity, a bit depressed, uncomfortable and put off dating.

I have never in my life seen so many physically unattractive men who looked so old for their (claimed) years. I have never encountered so many brittle, fairly unpleasant men who wanted to come round to my house for sex without meeting up first. I think I talked to maybe 15 different men off Tinder in that 3 weeks, and 11 of them suggested this. The other 4 were just thick, weird and hideous.

Please don't suggest other dating sites - the thought of trying to make up conversation with a total stranger that I'm not that interested in for the sole reason of his being (supposedly) single doesn't float my boat.

(Are there many women who actually do say to strangers they've never met who send them a few messages online "Yes, come round to mine, heres my address, I'll cook you dinner and then we can have sex, and if I'm very, very lucky, you'll agree to wear a condom, not strangle me and maybe even contact me afterwards?"

I mean, at least with hook ups in pubs and clubs you get to speak to the person in the flesh at least first!

@mumieone

On Skynews on Thursday/Friday there was a lady interviewed. She met man online during lockdown. 3 weeks chatting. 1 date outdoors and another date the very next day (where he said marry me and she said YES). No surprise he has moved into HER home.

No I don't think that's fate or fairytale I think it's dangerous and she seems vulnerable as most do with this whole lockdown having isolated so many.

Yeah, I saw that one. He was quite good looking too. Sort of came across as his having interviewed someone for a job, and found a person to fill the position, so he was quite pleased.

@GreenlandTheMovie

I understand what you're saying, but you did set the bar pretty low when you joined Tinder!

GreenlandTheMovie Lol love it!

I loved OLD. I met some amazing guys and a few not so amazing. I wasn't exactly looking for a relationship (but would have been up for one if I'd met the right guy). I never met the right one for me but its a time I remember fondly.