Stbexp checking on my vibrator

[Faulksonline]

Evening all, bit awkward but looking for some views on this -
Towards the end of last year I admitted to my DP that I wasn't happy, no longer in love & feeling totally suffocated. Wfh and lick down highlighted this. We effectively split up with him sleeping on the sofa. Agreed to speak to mortgage co after Xmas but January lock down & a big birthday in Feb (his) has put this on hold a little. 2 kids 4 & 8. He has discussed with some close friends but not his family. Anyway. I have a small make up bag on my wardrobe with a couple of vibrators inside. I've noticed (wfh based in my bedroom) if he takes the kids out when he gets home he finds a reason to come upstairs & glance at the wardrobe. I've also noticed items around the bag are moved/re-positioned. Only my stuff up there & no reason for anyone else to touch my stuff. I leave it untidy, a day later things are re-positioned around the bag. He's checking up on my vibrator usage. It's weird, right? I haven't challenged as confident denials will almost certainly come and I don't want to forget that this is ok behaviour to him (until challenged). Or am I over thinking this & need to get over it?

Do you want to know what he's doing our do you want confirmation that it's weird?
It is a bit weird, and if you want to know more about why, just move them all somewhere else and when he looks ask him if he's looking for something.

Just move it altogether to a place he will never look, it will drive him mad wondering where it’s gone.

Also if you are sleeping in the bedroom and working from it, why is he coming in that room at all?

It is weird. I'd hide the vibrators somewhere else and not say anything about it, but ask what he's looking for if you see him looking in the wardrobe again (assuming it's not a shared wardrobe).

Sounds like the vibrators are the least of your problems ..... you need to stop making excuses and get on with it if you're splitting. A birthday (nor a lockdown) isn't a reason!

This limbo won't be doing you any good. I know it's hard to make the push but you'll feel so much better once you have your own life and space

Put a mousetrap in the bag

Lol. Either hide it, or write put a note in massive writting saying 'HIYA!!!!'

How would he know if you'd used them though, odd!! Have you checked he hasn't hidden any secret cameras up there??

Lick down sounds do.much more fun than lock down.

@5zeds

Put a mousetrap in the bag

@5zeds

Put a mousetrap in the bag

This.

Why can he not stay elsewhere? It can't be great for the kids to see him on the sofa.

YABU in my opinion. He's checking if you're using it whilst he's out. He probably suspects sex or sex drive is part of the reason for splitting and is checking if that's the case. Yes it's a bit pervy but I don't think there's anything more to it and nothing overly concerning.

As others have said, a simple solution is to move the bag out of view. And ask him to knock before he enters.

He's checking up on my vibrator usage. It's weird, right?

How do you know this?!

He could be looking for money or trying on your make-up!
How would he possibly know if you're using them or not?!

I think you need to just say - why have my things been moved?

Those saying how would he know, he's looking purely fir things around moved surety

If you think he's doing that then either hide them or put a lock on the door. What does he gain from checking you've used them?

He may not be checking your vibrator but looking for evidence of another man? Like a spare phone or something?

I wouldn’t bother hiding the vibrator anyway - so what if he’s checking it? Does he think you’re not allowed to masturbate?

What does he hope to find, though? Does your vibrator have a timer on it or something?

Buy the biggest one you can find.
And leave it in place of the current ones.

He's certainly not got the message that you want a split.
I'd bet he thinks you've forgotten about it.

@Palavah

What does he hope to find, though? Does your vibrator have a timer on it or something?

This

He's probably using it on himself and then putting it back.

Op

How do you know he's not doing things with them ?
I wouldnt use them again, could be innocently checking or
Wiping them on his arse.

Sorry

Maybe he's been giving himself a pokey bum wank

5zeds
Put a mousetrap in the bag

I so would

@Marineboy67

Maybe he's been giving himself a pokey bum wank

@Marineboy67

Maybe he's been giving himself a pokey bum wank

Ewwwww !!! The germs!