Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DP kicked down doors

61 replies

Anyonelikemearound · 10/02/2021 11:59

Posting In AIBU for traffic.

DP and I just had a tiny spat that just exploded. Started with me asking him a question, he said he couldn’t hear me and I repeated 5 times before i got arsey and said turn the tv down then. He did finally and I said it didn’t matter now. From here he just lost it , followed me upstairs, telling me to leave he’s done etc , he’s screaming so I go into the spare room and lock the door. He breaks it down and I told him I can’t leave as all my clothes are in the wash and I’m only wearing a jumper. He says he doesn’t care, just screaming at me and I’m shaking. He asks why I’m shaking and I feel embarrassed so I go into the bedroom and he breaks down that door too.

I have no money to travel anywhere not that I can, only family is strained relationship and they’re isolating with Covid, it’s his house and I’m just a permitted occupant so I have no rights about living here.

I can’t leave at all as genuinely all clothes are stuck in a fucking wash.

OP posts:
Bananalanacake · 10/02/2021 20:00

Now it's later you can take your clothes and leave. Don't worry about suicide threats, it's on him.

toocold54 · 10/02/2021 20:08

I have no money to travel anywhere not that I can, only family is strained relationship and they’re isolating with Covid,

Just go there for now and keep your distance as much as you can. Unless you have friends you can stay with for a few days.

WildfirePonie · 10/02/2021 20:33

Do you have a car OP? Can you take it if so and drive somewhere safe and even sleep in it for now?

wishes1111 · 10/02/2021 20:47

Call 999 and go

Igmum · 10/02/2021 21:29

So pleased you're still ok OP. As others have said please leave. I was in your place once and it really does escalate while my sense of what was normal grew ever more warped. Sending hugs Thanks

sadie9 · 10/02/2021 22:17

Its pretty typical that as soon as his violent behaviour is called out, he STILL only thinks of himself and you get the self absorbed response of me, me, me oh look at me I'm a terrible person, I want to kill myself etc. I need your sympathy for my emotional pain even though I kicked two doors down....
Still putting himself at the centre of the drama. And no doubt he adds in a pile of shit about you being the strong one, his rock, etc to try to lovebomb you.
That's really saying that you are able to 'take it' and he is the 'weak' one. That emotional manipulation only results in you being fooled into mothering him and excusing his behaviour.
He still is incapable of relating to you about it in a mature way. What have you decided to do?

AIMD · 10/02/2021 22:23

You need to work on leaving. Even if not tonight then some time soon. This will only get worse.

AdoraBell · 10/02/2021 22:31

As others have said, you need to leave. Make a plan but do not tell him. Leave tonight. If you cannot leave tonight then leave tomorrow morning. He is dangerous.

AdoraBell · 10/02/2021 22:37

Also, don’t believe the threat of him killing himself, he won’t it’s just a way of control.

Once you are away from him please report this to the police. It could help another woman in the future.

caringcarer · 10/02/2021 22:50

If you have a phone leave in night. Just get out with passport and phone police and phone call woman's aid. They will help you. Don't stay and risk your life.

Branleuse · 10/02/2021 22:58

I hope youre ok OP. That sounds terrifying

New posts on this thread. Refresh page