Are there any trustworthy men left?

[Ponderinglife123]

Okay i know before i get slated for man bashing i want to have an open and honest discussion and hear some RL experiences on the subject. Have you been in a long term relationship or know anyone (im talking 10years plus) who has been with DP longterm without any infidelity or breaks? Ive just been cheated on and everyone i know in a long term relationship tells the same story of some sort of affair emotional or physical or one night stand..some forgive and move on others dont. But i want to hear some positive love stories that will restore my belief in love as sad as that is...

I'd be very, very surprised if any of the men in my family or extended family cheated. All good men... I think...

There are good men out there. I know a few - they're happily married, respect and love their wives. I think the issue is that these men tend to get married quite young and stay with their wives. There are also some men I know that are nice people but in quite unhappy relationships and would rather cheat at drop of the hat than sort out the problem in their relationship.

I'm looking for one in my 40s and it's really hard. The pool is so small.

[quote Ponderinglife123]@SallyAnn32* im still going through the seperation its all raw still it makes you question everything and everyone doesnt it thats the scary part im a strong person but to think you ve been living a lie turns your world upside down @sunnyzweibrucken what age are you? Im wondering is this worse in the younger generation with tinder etc sorry uve been disrespected soo much @Fireandflames666 id be the exact same its not just my trust in him gone its ppl in general..@Whodofthunk there are soo many of us sorry! @Rollercoasteride its the same story over and over the supposed nice guys wow sorry @BasiliskStare glad to hear one good love story have you ever seperated or had a big blow up row just curious @DiamondBright thats the thing i dont believe its always these sick twisted abusive types is it a case of good ppl make mistakes or is it biological? @Deadringer* im wondering the same i think the older generation cheated but its soo much easier nowadays![/quote]
@Ponderinglife123 yes it really does. I've got to contend with my 9yo daughter hating her dad, a divorce and the OW being a crazy ass bitch and despite all the proof my ex has seen he still believes her over me. I honestly think that he's doing it to save face at work and to his family. To make it seem worthwhile. To me it's obvious he's having a MLC and I know it's ridiculous but I just want him to come back and make it all better. In reality I know I would never trust him again.

I once had the offer of an affair and the attention was flattering. But I knew I wouldn't just be cheating on my husband buy my daughters and my family. I can see how people get drawn in. It's easy. But also easy to say no!

Everyone saying oh I very much doubt my brother/dad/husband has cheated they are very good men

Ask women whose spouses have cheated if they would ever have imagined it in a million years. The vast majority will say no

I haven’t been cheated on but I definitely thinks that’s circumstances more than finding a “ good un”.
Loads of my friends ( mid 40’s onwards) gave had fantastic marriages and husbands and he’s literally gone off without a back ward glance. Odd.
The only ones as far as I can see who don’t shag around are the men who are more interested in their childhood hobbies than women.
I don’t include hobbies like golf or cycling which men take up in later life to escape marriage.

I'm long time married. I've never cheated.
I highly suspect my H had a one off thing many yrs ago although he doesn't know I suspect that.
(We had a family tragedy soon after, so it paled into insignificance, as he's been pretty wonderful ever since.) I haven't forgotten though.
However, over the years, three married men have hit on me. All three were friends of my H.
It honestly makes me sick. They were all "good guys" too.
In one case the wife is a close friend of my own and it's put me in a horrible position.

Bloody hell miffy

I believe my parents and grandparents are examples of happy marriages untouched by infidelity (as far as I know). I have been less fortunate, and have been cheated on 4 times by 3 different partners, and it has ruined and tainted my entire adult life. I am now more afraid of being cheated on than I am of dying.

There's actually thousands of couples who don't cheat on each other include my own relationship, it's just that most aren't posting on forums like this.

I can say for absolute certain that I would never cheat, hell would freeze over first. And I would never go after a man who was married or in a relationship. I will never never do that to another woman. It's small comfort but even if I can't be sure of men I can always be sure of myself and take pride in the fact that, unlike so many, I'm not a heartless selfish arsehole.

Male here. Been in a relationship for 7 months after 10 years single. Previous relationship lasted 10 years, sexless for the last 5, but I didn't cheat. We're not all the same.

Have to say maybe but the chances are slim. Was seeing a guy, many years ago now, and he tried to drop me just randomly one day, so I went around to his house and his car was outside so I knew he was in, he lived in a shared place so I knocked and luckily downstairs let me in, I got to the outside of his door, knocked and he answered I walked in and he was in bed with a girl 😲 anyway we started arguing, she was in tears lol, I was embarrassed for her, he had been seeing us both 😨

21 years - 22 in Oct
No blips or splits so far we both seem to be as happy as we were when we met .
We met and married within 3 months 😂
We are a touchy couple so hand holding and we always kiss every day I still find him very attractive

Still have a good active sex life - several times a week .
I would be very very surprised if he cheated but I know it’s possible as we have a great life together.
I think a lot of couple argue and can split up over lack of money
lack of sex
And having kids 😂
We are both relatively well off financially and have no money issues.
No problems with sex
And we didn’t have kids together and our kids are now grown up although my son still lives at home at 26 but he’s rarely around
So it’s just us and the dogs 😂
I do think he is one of the good ones - so far

@wherearthough is that or only 2realistic choices? i dont know if i want to accept that lol @Krispyk yup red flags ladies never ignore them i did part of me thought i was paranoid but id never been the jealous type up until that point i should have listened to my gut!@Deadringer i wouldnt like to imagine my family members being unfaithful but im sorry to say these men are someones sons and brothers @GoGadgetGo suppose u never know what goes on in someones mind the thing is who can honestly say theyv never wondered what it would be like to sleep with someone else in a long term relationship but not everyone acts on it

This post makes me so sad.

@LibyanFeet in my case he admitted this he said he was stupid enough to think i ll never get caught! @FriedTomatoe i think thats part of the problem sometimes ppl settle diwn really young and wonder did i miss out not sleeping around 1st? @SallyAnn32 that was the worst part for me i just kept on thinking how could you do this to your child?! Part of me still wants him to make it all better too but like you i know he cant its an actual grieving process you have to go through x @Thewinterofdiscontent i thought id found this type loves his hobbies seemed happy in life..

Of course there are. But I do think the PP who said finding one whom you find attractive and who feels the same about you is what's tricky.

Bah, I agree with that poster, I meant.

I honestly do not think humans are designed to be with just one person - boredom, temptation and opportunities get in the way

@Flyingbirdie me too😔

I do think pragmatically and a lot of years are wasted either seeking or trying to control the one ...who in a heartbeat may leave at a drop of a hat.

Radical it may be but we have to challenge society's perception that somehow you're only deemed worthy if you're in a relationship.

Women initiate over 70% of divorces and single, childless women live longer and are happier than any other group yet we continue to beat ourselves up when we don't aquire the mythical dream man.

There are so many similar threads dripping in disappointment so perhaps a resetting of expectations is called for?

With ex Dh 11 year no cheating

Married to Dh 21 years no cheating

Db and dsil married 37 years no cheating

Bl and sil x 3 married 38 years, 30 years and 15 years. No cheating.

I’m in my 50’s, plenty of people cheat, but not in my family for some reason.

[quote Ponderinglife123]**@Faith50* interesting point i dont think looks play a major part either its more about convenience @EberhardtSmallcock* you are either really lucky by the looks of it or know a lot of good liars JK it must b great to have that security i thought i had it at one point[/quote]
I am really, really sorry you don't have that security, @Ponderinglife123

I do know how it feels to be very unhappy and for things to go wrong (don't want to go into specifics, but what XH did was infinitely worse than infidelity), and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I still think, though, that men and women are basically the same - some are fantastic, the huge majority are somewhere in between, and some are dishonest shits.

I hope you meet one who restores your faith in human nature - even if just as a friend, rather than as a potential partner.

@ClareBlue

There's actually thousands of couples who don't cheat on each other include my own relationship, it's just that most aren't posting on forums like this.

No but we all have a circle of friends. Aside from the usual divorces after long term couples had grown apart. I found it pretty shocking how many couples got to their 50’s and the husbands went off with younger women. Literally fulfilling the cliche. I would never have believed some of the men would ever cheated.

@wherearthough

I do think pragmatically and a lot of years are wasted either seeking or trying to control the one ...who in a heartbeat may leave at a drop of a hat.

Radical it may be but we have to challenge society's perception that somehow you're only deemed worthy if you're in a relationship.

Women initiate over 70% of divorces and single, childless women live longer and are happier than any other group yet we continue to beat ourselves up when we don't aquire the mythical dream man.

There are so many similar threads dripping in disappointment so perhaps a resetting of expectations is called for?

THIS