Overbearing interfering mother in law to be

[Stargazer119]

New to this so please bear with me. LONG POST*
I’m really struggling to continue with my relationship due to my fiancé’s mother. My oh was still living with his ex when we met. She had cheated (she is now in a relationship with the guy) my oh and her have a 5 year old. When I met my oh he was upfront and said she still lived there whilst saving to leave + they had seperate rooms in the house. They kept everything quiet from his family until 3 months before she was due to leave... His mother then took it upon herself to get really really involved, wanted to know the ins and outs of everything. Wanted to go house hunting with his ex, kept inviting her for meals, shopping etc. Even tho my oh said they hadn’t really been that close before. His mum blames me for the break up, even tho his ex had cheated and everyone is aware of it. Anyway long story short she’s never liked me, we are civil to each other but every time she’s on the phone she mentions his ex, she meets up with her invites her round for lunch etc. His mum has started getting his ex to FaceTime him whilst they’re on a day out together saying her phone is out of signal and she wants him to see the LO. We had lots of snow 2 weeks ago and his mum went to his ex’s, his mum, dad, ex and LO went sledging and his mum was sending him videos of his ex and the LO. I think I’ve had as much as I can take of this now. He is too afraid to tell his mum, as he said he wants her to keep the good relationship with his ex for the LO. Please has anyone been in a similar situation??

I don't think you should be in a relationship with someone who has a child. You clearly can't deal with it.

Your main problem seems to be that his mum has forged a bond with her exDIL and GC. So what? Why does that have anything to do with you?

You're also pissed if that your partners mother is sending him videos of his child. Again, so what?

This is all fairly normal behaviour.

You clearly feel like you're competing for attention here. I think you need tone in a relationship where you aren't juggling a child's needs too.

Whether he has an issue with it or not, the fact it’s upsetting you should be enough for him to speak to his mother and tell her not to constantly send videos that include ex and not to speak about her, he’s not interested.

He’s not saying his mother shouldn’t be seeing ex, though why she can’t see her grandchild without her I don’t know, he’s saying he doesn’t want a constant run down of what she’s up to. If he can’t do that for you he really isn’t worth being with IMO!

@2me2u2u2me

Whether he has an issue with it or not, the fact it’s upsetting you should be enough for him to speak to his mother and tell her not to constantly send videos that include ex and not to speak about her, he’s not interested.

He’s not saying his mother shouldn’t be seeing ex, though why she can’t see her grandchild without her I don’t know, he’s saying he doesn’t want a constant run down of what she’s up to. If he can’t do that for you he really isn’t worth being with IMO!

So his MIL should have to edit/crop videos of her grandchild to send to her son, and also challenge the child's mother on her access to her grandchild just to keep her son's girlfriend happy?

Gah. I wonder what ex thinks? She must find it weird. And her new partner must too

@higgledypiggledyhen

Gah. I wonder what ex thinks? She must find it weird. And her new partner must too

This is a valid point.... what does ExWifes Partner think of the dynamics ...

Life is too short, OP. I'd walk away.

I would be questioning why your bf is not telling his mum at every turn how much he loves you,how important you are to him and how terrific you are...he sounds weak to me and I couldnt live with the stress.Is it really worth all this OP? You are being sidelined and its just not on and hes allowing it too...

Can I ask how old you the ex and partner are OP?
For me this would effect my response