Boyfriend only meets weekends that suit him. Am I being pretty by saying no for tomorrow?

[Teatimes2]

We're together 5 years, live 45 minutes apart. We see each other on weekends but not every weekend. I'm nearly always available. Recently we didn't meet up for two weekends at his instigation, one reason being it was raining and there's nothing to do anyway at the moment. I mostly go to his. Now he wants a sleepover tomorrow. I've said sorry, I'm not available, I'm meeting my older sister for a walk, which I am, but will be available Sunday to meet him. I'm just not willing to jump at this weekend because he's on for meeting. Is this understandable?

Being the available one while he isn't is not a recipe for success.

However is this a good relationship if he cancels because it's raining? He doesn't exactly sound motivated and keen.

Playing games won't fix that.

What is the point of this relationship? He doesn't seem very invested.

I agree with PP.
Sounds like to hate wasting your time.

I agree, even if you're available all the time, perhaps don't let him know that! Be a little more unavailable and see what effort he puts in then.

Are you meeting in houses or just outside (only asking as he cancelled due to rain but now wants a sleepover) I can sort of understand if you're not going inside if it's pouring down, but having said that, my partner of 6 years and I only met up outside in the first locldown, we live 90 mins apart but met every Saturday no matter what the weather was. If you're meeting inside then what's the problem with the weather. Sounds like he has got a little too comfortable with calling the shots

Yeah good. Not petty.

You're handy when he wants a shag. Sorry.

Totally agree ... and when he says 'sleepover' is he just meaning sex ? You could say 'yes, a sleepover sounds fun with movies and a midnight feast' .

He sounds totally flakey and only interested in sex himself.

Ditch he doesn’t make an effort with you, why should spoil Sunday for him.

After 5 years of this how can you handle this? By now, you should really have these kind of issue sorted.

Don't blame you. 'There's nothing to do anyway' - what about the pleasure of your company?

You have posted before...
Your relationship is done if you feel the need to play games.
(don't blame you to be pd off but just Ltb and find a man who makes the correct level of effort for you)..

Honestly OP your either his bit on the side or friends with benefits.

Maybe that's what you want but then yes feel free to set the terms but if you think this is leading somewhere or you want it to you need to cut yourself loose.

Tell him your period is this week end and watch him cancel. May spur you on if you have doubts about dumping him..

Recently we didn't meet up for two weekends at his instigation, one reason being it was raining and there's nothing to do anyway at the moment.

You live outside do you? Or is he the Wicked Witch of the West and he’s worried he’ll melt if he gets rained on?

Where is the relationship going if you still live 45 mins apart after 5 years?

If you don't have a plan for the future then I would end it now.

You have plenty of time alone all week. If he is unwilling to spend weekends together because it's raining then you really need to revise your relationship.

I wouldn’t bother myself. Isn’t this an ongoing issue for you though?

I dated a man who lived an hour away and we met every weekend for a few months...
He would drive to see me..
Then as things progressed we saw each other more and eventually he moved near me and we moved in together..
I'm sorry but your relationship is just wrong, he's not interested, you're not the one for him. Time to leave

Haven't we had a thread about this recently? In any case, does not sound like a relationship worth continuing.

He wants a sleepover? I haven't had one of those since I grew up and became, you know, an adult.

Have you posted about this guy before op?

Im struggling to see the 'relationship'

Now he wants a sleepover tomorrow

Tell him nah, it might be raining. Honestly OP in your position I would leave it, sort a few DVD's get wine, chocolate, snacks of choice and enjoy Sunday in my pyjamas on the sofa. Put your effort into making you happy.

Totally understandable, definitely do more of this, and use the time you get to nurture a different future, because he isn't giving you the signs to indicate he wants a future with you.

I knew my husband for about 4 years before we got married and bought a house together. He lived over an hour from me but came to my house every weekend and one night in the week - every week as far as I can remember. It doesn't sound much of a relationship if he can't be bothered to come over some weekends, especially during a pandemic when there isn't a lot else to do.

You have wasted 5 years on this guy, please don't throw away any more on him. Look up the sunk cost fallacy relationship.

It's not a failure to call time on this.
Don't fool yourself into believing it can be any different.
Every minute you waste wishing it were different is eating into your future happiness with someone else.

Don't see him this weekend.

Not to be petty, but to take stock of whether this relationship is likely to ever make you feel happy, valued and secure.