What do you and your OH do in the evenings?

[HoneyComb11]

Just that really?
Do you sit down together? Spend time apart? Talk? Watch TV together?

Pretty much always spend it together. Usually we’ll watch something, but sometimes we’ll cook / chat / do a puzzle / play a board game / do the crossword / read together etc.

He usually cooks, (the kitchen is also the living room, so we are in the same room together) and will combine this with sitting scrolling eBay looking at motorbikes, or reading the news on-line. We simultaneously have the TV on and watch sport or documentaries or any old shit we can find to be honest. I sit on the sofa and read a book or text my friends/go on social media. After dinner he will cuddle up on the sofa with me and we put our phones away and focus more on whatever rubbish is on the TV - we also often have sex at this point. We don’t talk much but it’s an easy silence we both enjoy. This is exactly what happens every evening. It’s nice but it is starting to feel like ground-hog day. We would both kill to be able to sit in silence together in a pub instead!

When he's not on shift we'll cook together, have a glass of wine, eat, and chat a whole load of crap together. We'll watch a series or a film,. sometimes a game, and almost always go to bed together, where we'll either have sex or chat even more crap.

We have a newborn at the moment so once toddler is in bed we usually just sit on sofa together talking or watching TV, some days we have a video chat with some friends. Pre-newborn we used to play PC games together a lot unless there wa something we wanted to watch, or he would sometimes game with a friend while I watched TV or went to bed at a glorious 8pm.

I’m quite a busy bee in the evenings, I’m a night owl and it’s when I’m most productive, so I’m often doing small diy bits or cleaning. I do lates often so don’t finish until 8pm, by the time I’ve stopped buzzing about it’s gone midnight. He prefers to chill watching tv but we will often cook dinner together, listen to music, watch a movie, do the accounts for the business together.

From the majority of these responses, you can see most couples spend part or all of their evenings together. Is this something you want to address in your relationship op?

OP, do you think he's disengaging from you, or has disengaged? What is he doing when he's alone, do you know?

@Todhairquestion

Depends on the day - Watch things together, do things separately, play card games. Tonight we put together a new chair then made the foam packaging into spears and fought eachother

This made me laugh!

Reminds me of when we first moved into this house which has wooden floors and a long hallway. The winter Olympics were on so DH and I recreated them. The curling with balled up socks was particularly memorable. We drew the line at ski jumping down the stairs.

Reading through the replies, makes me realise I haven’t had a decent conversation with my H for years...

Read with music on.
Watch TV together.
Chat.
Sometimes he’ll give me a massage or I’ll give him a facial
Walk the dogs - sometimes together, but usually separately.
I’ll go for a bath - sometimes he’ll jump in.
I have a zoom yoga class once a week and he has a zoom music group.

We just kind of hang out, really.

@Wtfdidwedo

Sit next to each other on our phones not watching whatever we've put on the TV mostly, I thought that was life

Sometimes he games and I read.

Glad that's not just me then.

Sometimes we watch different things on TV in different rooms. He likes violent, noisy films and I like quiet, intelligent dramas where you have to listen to the words (as opposed to having it on in the background). I might go and read somewhere else if I don't want to watch anything on TV.

At this time of year, we usually have some sort of evening meal together, then sit and watch TV.

Once the evenings are lighter, we often go out for an evening walk.

That applies to both during lockdowns and in normal times. Our primary sources of entertainment have always been countryside walks and TV, according to the season. In summer we rarely watch TV, in winter we often watch upwards of 3hrs a night.

All of the above.

Most if the time we find a TV series to get into. Mainly comedies. We're just finishing up Phoenix Nights.

Sometimes, I'll do work and he will go and listen to his music.

Sometimes we'll do bits around the house we can't do when the kids are around.

Sit down and eat an evening meal together (though at the moment that's not working as one of us has to have the little one 😂)

Early part of evening after we have eaten he goes onto pc in another room, I'm on my tablet.
Around 8 ish we sit on sofa together and watch tv or read.

Currently no hobbies / nights out etc so it’s a bit different to normal but -

Eat together every evening as a family

During the week we either watch TV together or I’ll watch something trashy with our eldest DD and he’ll watch Sport or dreadful sitcoms in another room

Friday night we have film night with the kids

Saturday night we’ll watch a film after the youngest DC is in bed.

Sunday we try and have a games night with the kids but youngest DC is a bit temperamental (4y) so that can be a bit hit and miss !

We used to have sex about 4 nights a week as well but I’m pregnant and feeling yuk atm so there’s none of that at the moment

We have a baby and a toddler, and we are generally too tired to do much at the moment!

Generally we just collapse on the couch and watch a box set, sometimes I like to have a bath and read and he might play Xbox.

We fall asleep early. it's very dull these days!

Dinner with the DC, then they usually go off and do their own thing for a bit. Around 8 pm sit down and watch a mutually agreed TV show, or have something on TV and surf the net, play a game. Youngest DC usually comes and joins us at some point. A Glass of wine with TV at the weekend.

In non-lockdown the same but with a few dinners out, cinema or sit outside at night in the warm.

I do some housework during the day, he just potters around. Cook, eat at the table and talk about anything and everything, we’re both retired now and spend the whole day together just now (I would normally be out with friends for coffee/lunch, book club, walking group etc) but we still have things to say!! Then usually we’re watching things on our iPads, or reading, just sitting together in a companionable silence....bed around 9/10.....do it all again the next day!

We don't sit down for long in the evenings unless our two ask to watch a film, and each Eve we watch an episode of the Simpson's as a family (wading through the entire lot). Our oldest is 13 now and still likes a chat or story/news article at bed, so after getting the 10 year old to bed and reading to him, then older one, it's time to go to bed ourselves! We don't have TV in our bedroom but do take our iPads up to catch up on Netflix etc, either together or separately with headphones. Or do a crossword.

We usually just watch TV together, or occasionally have a chat. He actually drives me a little bit nuts that he insists we do everything together - so if I attempt to have an early night, he'll follow me up. He always wants us to go to bed at the same time etc. Sounds lovely, but sometimes I'd just like to starfish in bed alone for an hour or so!

At this time of year we tend to watch something after eating but when it's lighter & warmer we like to go for a walk to shake down the meal

In the olden days we occasionally went out in the evening (together or separately). Once a week, DP would come home late from his hobby. The rest of the time we'd have sex, spend an hour or two reading or watch TV.
Now, we spend every evening either playing board or card games or watching TV. It's beginning to feel quite suffocating.

All of this watching telly and chatting and having sex sounds lovely.
In my house it's usually me making the tea, sorting out washing and other jobs, doing stuff with the kids, maybe going to the shop or out to help family, and then if I get a bit of time to myself I'll go and find something to do upstairs. Meanwhile dh watches his recordings of Politics Live, Channel 4 news, then maybe a bit more news, then Newsnight, and if he's got time he'll fit in some weird right-wing-y 'commentators' on you tube. Or football. You can hear me screaming can't you......

@Wakingup55643

All of this watching telly and chatting and having sex sounds lovely. In my house it's usually me making the tea, sorting out washing and other jobs, doing stuff with the kids, maybe going to the shop or out to help family, and then if I get a bit of time to myself I'll go and find something to do upstairs. Meanwhile dh watches his recordings of Politics Live, Channel 4 news, then maybe a bit more news, then Newsnight, and if he's got time he'll fit in some weird right-wing-y 'commentators' on you tube. Or football. You can hear me screaming can't you......

Are you married to Jeremy Paxman?!

Cook together, talk, play boardgames, watch a movie, read together but separately, draw, paint, craft. All sorts really! Depends on the day!