What do you and your OH do in the evenings?

[HoneyComb11]

Just that really?
Do you sit down together? Spend time apart? Talk? Watch TV together?

I work shifts so sometimes I'm not home.

But if I am home I read, watch the telly, or do internet stuff like Mn and Twitter. I might play with our cat too.

DH might also read, watch telly or go on the Internet but he also builds and paints his orcs and trolls and he's really into Animal Crossing NH so he might do that.

We've also been looking at new furnishings because in the absence of anything else to look forward to we have been doing some painting and decorating when we're not at work.

We used to go out for a curry and a pint once a week and we went to the cinema, my husband used to go to championship football games. Happier times.

Interesting thread

My evenings are very different in that as soon as our children go to bed, he takes himself to either his study, or our bedroom. I am always alone in the evenings and it has been like this for months now. He’s told me he likes his own space. I don’t really know what to think of it.

We might play video games together (tonight we played original Super Mario Bros on the retro games console), chat about our days, listen to music, read, scroll on the internet and share things we find, cuddle, and all the rest that has been mentioned. We don't usually play board games in the evenings but do on weekends and often play d&d too

@Pechanga I'm intrigued and envious! How did you turn things around?

Dp and I don't live together but we will watch TV, chat occasionally play a board game although he is a very sore loser at scrabble.

Other times I will sit on the sofa while he plays a computer game or take myself off to read a book. Depends on how stressful a day each of us has had. He works all over the country so sometimes I will see him 3-4 days a week and others it can be a month between seeing each other so that impacts what we do.

If your 9h is taking himself off to be alone all evening every evening then personally inwould question that, its not normal and suggests there is something more going on.

Mainly we sit on the sofa and look at our phones with the TV on although I’m trying to make an effort to make our evenings a bit more interesting with some board games. I’m so sick of staring at the computer all day only to finish and then stare at my phone/TV.

Interested to hear about how those that have spiced up their relationships after a lull managed it. We could be having a lot more sex but we’re both too tired/lazy by the time we go to bed (despite not doing very much apart from work!)

He choses something to watch on telly. Then he falls asleep within 10 mins and leaves me watching some crap.

I've just glanced across at him and he's asleep now, head on chest. Every bloody night.

Once dd is in bed, we do a 30 minute tidy round. Then dh usually goes to play his Xbox for an hour or so in bed, whilst I read with a cuppa in the living room. Them about 9ish, we watch an episode or two of something on Netflix together (at the moment we're watching The Crown) in bed!
We like having that solo time to chill out from the day, and then we're nice and mellow for us time!

Do you get any time together just the two of you, OP? I used to work most evenings and he would go to bed alone but we talked about it and we both made changes to prioritise our time together. It has also meant I have a better work- life balance and am strict about not letting work interfere with our time except on rare occasions. Is there an interest that you share that you could do together? How would he respond to setting aside even 2 or 3 evenings to spend time together?

Watch repeats of Return To The Frigging Shiteau and Pointless while looking at our phones and talking about random shit (Today: Ken Bruce, Biden, our cardboard consumption, what makes a good crisp, what happens next in this repeat of Return To The Shiteau - answer: they break their worktop). Then when we can’t take any more (around 7pm) we retreat to separate bedrooms to read/listen to music etc. Then wake up and do it all again.
What a time to be alive

Both of us are wfh in a small London flat and have no kids. Over the winter we cook and eat dinner together pretty much every night, and then we might watch TV, play a board game or something, or just listen to music and talk! DP likes watching the football one or two evenings a week, which I quite like as I'll go and read, have a bath, do some yoga or video call family/friends. Over the summer we'd go out for long walks/bike rides/runs quite a lot in the evenings because it was quieter.

He looks at phone. I cross stitch

Read so he doesn’t speak to me or fall asleep so he doesn’t speak to me, before covid pretty much the same apart from seeing friends 2/3 nights a week

Nope. Once the kids are asleep I have an hour on MN or watch TV, he games, watches TV. Bed at 9.30pm.

Op, do you both WFH?

We cook, watch a tv show or a film or play PlayStation or Nintendo together most evenings

Just hang out together. Sometimes we'll have a movie on in the back ground whilst he internets and I crochet, sometimes we'll ply PlayStation together, sometimes he'll game and I'll read...we just hang out together.

@Wtfdidwedo

Sit next to each other on our phones not watching whatever we've put on the TV mostly, I thought that was life

Sometimes he games and I read.

Exactly this!!

We don't live together and only have 5/14 evenings together so we drink cava or wine, eat nice food which he cooks as he enjoys it and is very good (I'm a lucky girl!). Whilst he's cooking we chat and listen to music then watch some TV or a film.
Then its bed and sex, we both have big appetites so make the most of our time together!

We don’t get a particularly long evening just us as DD12 goes to bed between 9 & 9.30. We tend to watch tv ( although there aren’t many programmes we both like), go on our phones etc. We always eat in the lounge, sometimes before DD goes to bed & other times after.

I cook, DW and adult step kids wash up, kids go and do their thing we sit on sofa , snuggle and watch tv, talk, play games..quiet time

Telly. But we talk about the day in-between, make guess on the show what will happen next, compete if it's a quiz show etc. Sometimes he draws and I colour (not his drawings) but we usually do it whilst watching one of our series.

Attempt to watch tv but he often falls asleep mid film 🙄

He usually cooks, I’m doing chores. We eat together (no TV in the lounge), chat, then sit on our phones (he games I read mumsnet) or have a bath together. At 8pm we go to bed to watch one episode of Netflix, then we’re asleep by 9pm - I’m up at 5am daily for my Pilates classes.
I think it’s important to spend time one on ones it is tempting to sit on your phone or watch tv whilst eating - we don’t have tv for that reason