Ex won't have kids anymore ,what would you do?

[slingoo]

My ex is a waste of space.
We have 2 kids 4 and 7.
I'm work in a nursing home as a care assistant.
Now ex has a 1 year old with new partner.
Today he text me
"I'm sorry I can't have the girls over,it's not safe,you work in care and I'm not risking my sons health"
So is he planning on never seeing his kids again?
What would you say back to this ?

Well most people in care homes have had the jab staff and residents. So
No more risk than if you worked in an office. Does he work and have no human contact?
Sounds like an excuse

Oh my god, what a disgusting man.

I’m not sure I’d even reply, he doesn’t deserve your little girls.

How often does he usually see them? Do you have other childcare arrangements?

@Akire he says the jab doesn't stop you catching it,so I might still catch it and pass it on

@slingoo

My ex is a waste of space. We have 2 kids 4 and 7. I'm work in a nursing home as a care assistant. Now ex has a 1 year old with new partner. Today he text me "I'm sorry I can't have the girls over,it's not safe,you work in care and I'm not risking my sons health" So is he planning on never seeing his kids again? What would you say back to this ?

I would completely ignore it (but keep it for your records). He's just trying to upset you and make you jealous by playing the 2nd family card.

Have you heard of the life changing magic that is "grey rock"?

@Mummytoalmost3 normally once a fortnight on a Saturday night

He doesn't work no,neither does his new gf.

If there is a covid case in the home where I work I will of course isolate with the DC. Until such time contact needs to remain in place as normal.

Oh he also said I was doing the wrong thing sending the kids to school (as I'm a key worker) but he won't have the kids whilst I'm at work.

Nothing you can do. Probably wisest just not to answer.

I'd reply with a thumbs up sign and not contact him again.

Honestly...speaking as someone with a knob of an ex I'd rather he'd been out my kids lives at this age rather than dicking them about and constantly letting them down like he did.

Pursue him for child maintenance - don't push for contact. That is up to him to sort.

You'll be better off without a tosser who clearly doesn't value his kids the way he should.

'Not acceptable. They are your children too and that dies not change because of a new partner and child. They will be dropped off and picked up as per usual agreement. Or you can pay for the daycare on dats you normally have them'

You have to work. He doesnt get to say no ans put your income at risk if he is sitting about on his ass all day with nothing else to do.

@slingoo

My ex is a waste of space. We have 2 kids 4 and 7. I'm work in a nursing home as a care assistant. Now ex has a 1 year old with new partner. Today he text me "I'm sorry I can't have the girls over,it's not safe,you work in care and I'm not risking my sons health" So is he planning on never seeing his kids again? What would you say back to this ?

You need to ask him . I suspect it is a temporary thing as many people are doing this . Ask him .

Your poor kids, sorry OP what an asshole. I wouldn’t bother responding

Don't respond.

What a complete and utter waste of space. I'm sorry OP.

Your girls will grow up and they will be able to form their own opinions on their father. You sound like a fab mum.

Yes he's a waste of space, his argument is basically his son is worth more than your DC? This will be the organ grinder's decision and that text was from the monkey. As he only has them one night in fourteen anyway hopefully it won't upset them too much. I feel for you. It's hard for other parents to understand when they're not dealing with exes who just don't want to see their children, especially when they live with their other children, yours always come last and it's shit

I’d call his bluff and send something like ‘excellent! Have a wonderful life. I wish you are your family continued good health and happiness’ and then block the turd. He’ll be trying to wheedle his way back into your children’s life within weeks/months.

Ignore and block op.
Is he really a loss to them?

I wouldn't say anything to him. Don't respond at all.

Focus on your dc and on you. Explain the situation to your dc in as neutral a manner as you can manage. See if they want to talk to him online instead.

Your dc are lucky to have a mum who cares as much as you.

I'd suggest 'Oh my God you're right. We shouldn't be risking the girls lives either. I'll drop them round first thing tomorrow.'

Make sure you keep those texts, just in case.

Don't answer. Don't make any further effort. Sod him. Do the best for you and your girls.

He is at best an utterly weak twat!

Is there any reason he feels this way. I’m guessing the answer is no but is the new baby very ill or something?

It would probably be more grown-up to say nothing but I'd be tempted to send the following message and then block him:

"What a useless waste of space you are as a father. You don't provide for your girls, you don't care for them and now you don't even want to see them. At least they've got a mum who does all those things."

Firstly, does his son have an illness that would make him seriously ill if he caught it?

Secondly, I think as you’re obviously such a bad mum for putting them in childcare whilst you work - therefore I’d be telling him he needs to have them full time until this is all over! Call his bluff!

Nope he has no illness neither does she or his new child.
He finds any excuse not to see them.
He doesn't pay maintenance.
He's never had a job since he was 21 (he is now 40)

I would also ignore or send a brief neutral answer and be neutral with your children also - who are fortunately small enough to adapt more easily.

Sometimes this really is for the best. My ex moved hundreds of miles away and sees our DCs once or twice a year. It was the best thing he ever did and I wish he’d done it sooner.