I realise this is not my business but it concerns someone very closely related to me.
A chap in his thirties has known a young woman, an American, for about four years. Lovely girl in her thirties! She was widowed a few years ago and has a young child. They became engaged some eighteen months ago and were planning to marry last year but then the pandemic happened. She cannot come here, which was the plan, and he cannot go to see her.
She lives in a fairly rural, mountainous area, very beautiful with lakes, etc, and has rarely ventured far from there. The inhabitants of her town live very close to nature. Not much happens there and there aren't many prospects.
He usually works for several months a year in America and Canada and met her when he was working in her home town. There was an instant attraction, they became close and started a relationship during which time she has travelled all over the States with him for holidays (New York, Florida, Texas, Disney etc), he has spent holidays at her home and she has been here in London, which she likes.
Last year she had several episodes of shrieking at him, accusing him of all sorts of things (which he hasn't done and deep down she knows he hasn't), insulting and blocking him everywhere. He put that down to the tension caused by lockdown, etc, and the fact that they cannot see each other. He's working from home, she is not doing very much. She also told him that she heard people telling her things when she was on her own, at night etc. It was very difficult. A good well meaning friend of his who knows her intervened, telling her how wrong she was, misjudging her guy, etc, but that didn't go down well and friend was blocked.
Now it transpires she has been diagnosed as schizophrenic and is on medication. Apparently she has always heard voices but her family, who live near her, used to say she was in touch with the spirit world and it was natural!
I have every sympathy for this young woman but am terrified of him marrying someone who is so mentally unstable; who knows how she would be living here without her parents, siblings and extended family nearby. It's one thing to like visiting a place and spending time with a person you love, living together is a different kettle of fish. I don't know what she would do work-wise, they did have some ideas about that, ie her working in a jointly owned business. They also talked about having a child.
When I spoke to him yesterday he said, when he is free to travel, he will go to her and wants her to have a second medical opinion on her mental health (which he would finance) - preferably here because he doesn't have much faith in the medics where she lives. Then he'll see how it goes.
He is very work focussed and wants to have a secure base. He is a nice and popular person, clever and interesting.
I honestly don't know what to say, if anything. He is old enough to make up his own mind and take his chances, so is she, but I also feel I may not be doing him any favours by saying nothing. He has to protect himself.
It's frightening, frankly.
Sorry this has been long. I wanted to share and wonder if anyone has experience of similar,
Thank you for reading.