Boyfriend has little patience

[sseabbreeze]

Been with my boyfriend 2 years but since first lockdown he's pretty much moved in
Not officially but he's here all the time since last lockdown was announced as didn't want to go between houses

I have a strange feeling I can't get rid of
Some of the things he does is really getting to me
I don't think he's changed I think it's always been there but as he's here all the time I've really noticed it

He has no patience and I have a lo and a couple Of times he's said things to him and I've had to pull him up on it

Like huffing and puffing at him or me if we've done something wrong like stepped on a phone charger wire that we didn't see

I feel like everything is good apart from when he is tired he gets very snappy it's making me feel like I'm walking on eggshells

It may sound petty but rolling eyes hugging and puffing is almost draining me now I've noticed he does it so much

He has bad road rage and every time it's the other drivers in the wrong

He seems to tell me about an argument he's had with someone at least every day
He works in construction and says ' this fucking idiot at work today spoke to me like a piece of shit' but in thinking i don't think he's being very nice ?!

My son tripped over something in the hallway and hurt his foot so I said ohh are you ok? Boyfriend says ' how can you not see that ' just stuff like that like negative stuff
Some school stuff saying ' you should know this by now ' etc

When he is in the wrong he can't seem to apologise! It's so frustrating

I've just started to notice it and I don't know what to do

Well done op great news...just on another note he may try and offer to go to counselling now to win you back but its a tactic to win you back and not because he actually feels he needs it.

These traits takes years of hard work and therapy to treat but the person has to truly want to change and by the sounds of it your ex sees nothing wrong with his behaviour.

I wish you so much happiness for you and you lo and don't forget what an amazing mum you are to protect your child

HI all,

I hope you don't mind me jumping on this thread but I'm in a similarish position and there seems to be great advice given out here.

I too am with my bf 2 years, no children either side. We recently moved in together and his lack of patience with every day life is really getting me down and making me question the relationship. Very similar to what others have posted above - he loses it the smallest of things like the internet acting up, smoke alarm kicking off, people at work 'acting stupid', just general annoying things that happen day to day...when I say loses it, what I mean is that he just goes off on a rant at the inanimate object huffing and puffing for 5 minutes but never ever at me/blaming me. In the two years we've been together he has never once disrespected me/blamed me for anything or been unkind but is it enough for me to say I just don't like being around someone's ranty behaviour, even when it's not directed in any way towards me? It can happen in the car, out and about, at home...and I suppose if I'm being truthful, I have a feeling like I'm walking on eggshells just hoping nothing happens to set him off and I know that's not good.

I'm in no way afraid of him, it's just that when he gets like that it makes me sad and ruins the atmosphere...whereas for him, he's back to himself laughing and joking 5 mins later and can't understand at all why I might be quiet and upset. He's gone as far as to say that it's something I need to deal with as in his opinion I'm too sensitive to any type of conflict (which I am, I know) but really, is this something that I need to change about myself or are we just not compatible long term? I'd say there's probably other women out there who wouldn't bat an eyelid at his outbursts or would quickly tell him to pipe down, I just don't seem to be able to do that. It makes me retreat into myself.

I'm very sad to think that the answer here is to break up as he has so many other wonderful qualities, I just really really wish he had more patience and didn't feel like the world is out to get him all the time. He knows he does it and doesn't particularly like it about himself, he attends therapy, is trying yoga, sea swimming etc. as his wish for himself is to be less reactive also. I just don't know if I can wait around from him to change or if it's even at all possible

Onwards and upwards and here's to a newly calm atmosphere in your home.

@Jenga83
I can see that he understands to a degree and that he is trying to get his problems under control with therapy and yoga etc...How long has he been in therapy for? Sometimes it’s so ingrained in them to be reactive that it’s hard to reprogramme them. Have you noticed any positive changes since he started trying to resolve his problems?

You are all ready living on eggshells and it may well be that none of his attempts to deal with his anger issues work. He has all ready blamed you for being over sensitive whereas the problem actually lies with him. It’s not for you to change yourself. There are plenty of men out there that can deal with daily annoyances without having an angry strop.

Personally I would walk away but that’s because of my experience with my partner who wouldn’t accept he was in the wrong in any way shape or form let alone attempt to get any help for his anger.