Someone please help me. Bottom of be barre despair here.

[iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]

Just need someone to support me through this. I've posted at least a handful of times on here about the cockwomble I call a partner. Under different names because I'm fucking ashamed.

I'm so so so unhappy. Beyond unhappy. This man has ruined me. I want out. If I leave he has to stay while he finds somewhere else to live because his mothers an alcoholic and he can't see his daughter if he goes back there. I don't want a sob story but a blunt and brief back ground:

He was to go to prison 9 months ago for assault, criminal damage and coersion. I changed my statement. We got back together. I found something I didn't like, ordered him to leave resulting in the damage and assault, coersion was already going on.

Been together 17 months. Been through more shit than many.

He has a child, I have two.

I've found a house to move to. The house he lives In with me is purely mine. I have t told him I'm going ahead with the move.

From what I can remember, my previous names on here are coffeecoffeemorecoffee, princessconsuelabananahommock1 or 2 I'm not sure. Amongst others that I can't remember. Posting these because I name change through my embarrassment but I fucking need someone to tell me to sort this out. I'm so so so so so very unhappy. I want this man out of my house. It's getting messier by the day.

Someone please help me. I need courage, I need encouragement. I'm a strong woman but I'm so alone.

I just want to leave.

What is stopping you from telling him to leave?

It's your home. Tell him to go.

@MrJollyLivesNextDoor I honestly don't know. Do t want to hurt anybody or cause turmoil for a child.

If i remember correctly, and not mixing up posters, your daughter has mentioned before about not wanting him to be there, hasnt she?

[quote iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]@MrJollyLivesNextDoor I honestly don't know. Do t want to hurt anybody or cause turmoil for a child. [/quote]
What about your child?

@SeahorseoramI you're right. My littlest one is sad the same recently too. Don't know
If that just copying what she's heard her sister say. All I know is I can't cope anymore

Has said**

OP - come on - you’ve had a shit time but you need to help yourself here. Call women’s aid, call the police, get rid of him, block him, do not engage with him - if he turns up, call the police. Move forward with your kids and put him out of your mind. This important to you but also you have to protect your kids. You cannot be responsible for his child, although you can ring social services if you are concerned about her.

I also think you need some counselling as it does appear that your attitude to relationships isn’t healthy. People on here mention the freedom programme, so take a look at that.

What do you think would happen if you told him to leave tomorrow morning?

How would he react?

Thank you everyone. I'm at breaking point. I don't know how to proceed

Come on, op, we have all told you what to do and you know what that is. You are continuing to make excuses at the detriment of your own children.

Call the police right now and get him out.

You proceed by proceeding. Tell this criminal to leave your property and be ready with support/back up/the police if you think he'll pose a risk to you or your kids.

Do you have any friends or family who can help?

I dont think you'll listen to us though. Your children should come first. Tell him to leave. If he won't then call the police.

I will listen. Because I'm fucking miserable

I recall several of your threads. You’ve ended things quite a few times with this violent, sadistic abuser. OP, he is a danger to all of you. You must stay strong this time!

He abuses alcohol and urges you to drink. He degrades and assaults you. He has put a lighter to your crotch and bum and you felt the heat and smelled the singe. You cry in pain and shock when he slaps and kicks your leg, roughly grabs your bits, tears your nipple, and rips off your clothes and underwear, destroying them. He has neglected/abused his little girl by putting her to bed at 5 so he could get drunk. He then urinated on your kitchen floor and passed out on the couch. When you arrived much later his DD was awake.

You also found women’s underwear in your home after you’d taken a trip with your daughter.

This man is a monster and you are endangering and sabotaging your and your children’s lives. His presence is a safeguarding issue. It is time for you to prioritize your daughters, provide a safe home, and model self-respect and healthy boundaries. Get him out of your house and life and keep him out for good.

Get some counseling and learn how to break this destructive pattern of choosing and sticking with abusers.

OP i promise you you will never know the damage you are doing to the kids by allowing him to stay so long but you will if you keep letting it happen ..he needs to go now. he needed to go way before.You have to do this. Ring womens aid ring a solicitor ring someone and get help.It will not only be your life ruined if you dont.When you have done this I promise you will be so different,you will be free you can breathe again and make your kids feel secure.You are surviving now not living and its not fair to expect your kids to do the same...get on wioth it make today the day you begin to live again,,,,

This man is a monster and you are endangering and sabotaging your and your children’s lives.

This from MsDogLady should be all you need to hear.

I get that you don't feel strong enough to do what you need to. He's worn you down. So get help. Call Women's Aid. They'll be with you every step of the way.

You need to get away from this dangerous man.

Do it for your children if jot for yourself. They have both told you they don't want him there. That would really make me scared as to why.

surely not seeing his daughter is better for her

Call the police

“surely not seeing his daughter is better for her

Call the police”

This.

Gosh op aren't you worried about what you're doing to your kids??

I would be terrified of what they would think of me when they were grown up and remember what Mum allowed to happen in their home. I know for sure that my mum allowed a lot less than you do, and even then I struggle to respect her. You are destroying your own children? Isnt that enough motivation?

The situation you're in is literally what Womens Aid is for!! Please for christs sake do what has to be done, for your children. I remember all your threads. I knew it was you the moment I finished your initial post. This can't go on.

Thank you all for your advice, guidance and opinions.

I ended the relationship yesterday. I have said I'll give him some time to find somewhere. I move in 6 weeks. However, the lines are very much blurred, I actually feel sorry for him.

Still, I feel much better for having told him I don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore.

I actually feel sorry for him.
Good to hear that you’ve ended it.
But save your sympathy for your 2 children that had to live with this fucker.

You must banish the ‘sorry for him’ feelings, OP. From what you’ve previously written, that is your downfall every time. This twisted, violent man does not deserve your sympathy and protection. Stay strong and protect your children and yourself. Taking him back again would be a tragic decision.

[quote iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]@MrJollyLivesNextDoor I honestly don't know. Do t want to hurt anybody or cause turmoil for a child. [/quote]
How about your children?

So he will be moving with you in 6 weeks time then?