Commenting on beautiful women.

[seascaped]

Is this ok in your opinion. For a boyfriend to casually comment on a celeb eg HollY/ Tess while watching tv and say ' I think she is beautiful ' as a throw away comment ?
Am I being over sensitive or Is it disrespectful to me
?

I'd be interested to hear people's opinions on this, I've been seeing someone for a couple of months and he makes comments like this, he also expects me to comment on men in a similar way, but I don't 'fancy' celebrities. I'm not sure, am I being a prude?

@seascaped does he tell you you're beautiful?

Yes he has told me that twice ever but more so that he loves my
Smile ( which he says every time we are together a number of
Times) and that I look gorgeous ( when out for a night a long time ago , die to
Covid ) .

Beautiful wouldn’t bother me - “I’d like to shag her” would bother me.

I comment on beautiful people in the same way I comment on loud people or drunk people or any other kind of people that catch my attention. It's simply in a conversational way and there's nothing sexual about the comment. I have a boyfriend, at the moment, who gets very jealous when I do (in a jokey way apparently ) so I've toned it down out of respect for his feelings.

I think with celebs it's ok but random women at work/in the pub/friends it's disrespectful.

The way he comments also has a bearing in my opinion. Saying someone is beautiful is a nice comment, saying she's fit, is bang her, is not nice nor appropriate.

Does he make you feel beautiful and desired generally?

Yes I think I'd rather he commented that way about a celebrity than a 'real' person. Still, feels a bit icky to me somehow. Can't figure out why. 🤔

Yes he does . He makes me feel very special but I found that strange as he is a new boyfriend and I'm not used to previous partners making comments like that. There is no vulgarity or sexual overtones, simply that he thinks their faces are beautiful .

I wouldn't worry at all. I sometimes look at a woman and thinks he is beautiful and might say so - why wouldn't my husband recognise the same? I think the last to times was when we were watching Instant family and I commented that the eldest girl was very pretty and Bridgeton when I remarked the Duke was indeed very handsome. Beautiful people are nice to look at; why not accept that?

A woman - she, not he.

I'd barely notice this tbh. Finding people attractive and saying something appreciative is normal even if you're in a LTR.

There are circumstances in which I'd think it was off -

• If he complimented them, but not me
• If he reacted poorly if I made a similar comment about a man on TV
• If he said things like this constantly every time we watched something
• If his comments crossed a line of vulgarity - you get to decide what your line is. Personally I'm happy with the occasional crudeness but I can't imagine "beautiful" would cross anyone's lines

I would mention it if it's bothering you. B

I wouldn't like it and I wouldn't expect my boyfriend to do that in my presence. My ex did that. My DH doesn't.

This was one of my wife and I's biggest issues for a long time.

She tended to be very unfiltered when it came to who she thought was hot, and what she wanted to do with them, and not just celebs, but other real life men. While at the same time, she was very reserved in verbally expressing her physical thoughts about me. She would verbalize things if I asked her, but rarely would she say anything of her own accord.

Fortunately it has died down over the past few years, mainly because I gave up worrying about how she found me attractive, and accepted the message she sent loud and clear that I am passable. Sucks feeling that way, but it is what it is.

If it's ppl you just see on tv it's ok, totally different if it's someone you see in person. My hubby knows my celeb's crush and he's fine with it and vice versa. He actually jokes that I keep adding to my list, the latest being Bridgerton's Duke

If it bothers you, it bothers you, so if you want this relationship to be built on openness and honesty, you need to talk to him about it.

Just tell him you're not comfortable and to keep his tap shut. This is because I think when a man says someone is beautiful it means they would like to shag them. Obviously this is a generalisation but based on my personal experience.
Also, just why would you need to know? At worst its sleazy, at best its insensitive.

Yap not tap!

Wouldn't bother me in a serious committed relationship but I think it's a bit weird for a new relationship.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest- and he also knows about my Tom Hardy love 😂

Every time he says it say 'and where's my compliment'?

@IdblowJonSnow

Just tell him you're not comfortable and to keep his tap shut. This is because I think when a man says someone is beautiful it means they would like to shag them. Obviously this is a generalisation but based on my personal experience. Also, just why would you need to know? At worst its sleazy, at best its insensitive.

Presumably you'd be happy for your DH to know about your MN username though!

If it's frequent and said in an overtly sexual way, then yes, this would give me the creeps.

However, if he comments not all that often and it's simply "she's really beautiful" or "she's so pretty/has a pretty face" , then I personally wouldn't have a problem with that.

An ex of mine got monstrously jealous and ridiculously childish once when I mentioned I thought Chris Hemsworth (as Thor) is hot.

I wouldn’t worry about it. Just last night I said to my DH that I thought a woman was beautiful (I think it was Joanna lumley) and meant she was elegant, picturesque and held herself in a dignified way (especially for her age). I think beautiful is a layered word and can mean many different things. I do avoid saying a man is gorgeous in front of him but I’m sure I have in the past. It’s normal I think to share sometimes but yes press for your comment immediately after

I wouldn’t mind if it was celebrities but it would bother me if it was irl