Commenting on beautiful women.

[seascaped]

Is this ok in your opinion. For a boyfriend to casually comment on a celeb eg HollY/ Tess while watching tv and say ' I think she is beautiful ' as a throw away comment ?
Am I being over sensitive or Is it disrespectful to me
?

OP, this personally wouldn’t bother me at all as DH and I frequently comment on celebrities we find attractive. However, if it bothers you then you need to talk to your partner about it. What’s ok in one relationship doesn’t have to be ok in another.

I'd not like it. I mean I realise he may think it and it's objectively true, but there is nothing to gain from saying it out loud, other than making me feeling insecure/inadequate when compared to a celeb, I have not a hope in hell of looking as good as.

One of those things I think is best left unsaid - for me personally, anyway.

Well I wouldn't comment that a man was handsome to my husband, that sort of discussion is one that you'd have with your friends isn't it?

This is what I call beautiful 🤩 



I'm not a jealous person at all so this wouldn't bother me.

"Wow, that new hairstyle on Holly Willoughby is amazing, I never realised she had such beautiful eyes" - fine (and similar to what I might say myself)
"Fucking hell, look at the arse on that!" - really not appropriate in most relationships

However - if you find it makes you uncomfortable then perhaps have a think about whether you have some insecurities that you could work on? Equally, it's okay to say "I'm not okay with this" and ask him not to do it, if it's upsetting you. A kind, emotionally intelligent man - the type of man who is a good potential long term - will understand and respect your boundaries and consider them as a "price of admission" for a relationship with you - and if he feels that price of admission does not meet his expectations, then he can choose to move on. (As can you if he tries to tell you that you're being "over-sensitive" or "paranoid".)

Oh well, picture didn't load , never mind 🙄

@rooarsome

It doesn't bother me in the slightest- and he also knows about my Tom Hardy love 😂

Haha @roarsome everytime Tom Hardy is on cbeebies bedtime story dh says "hello Mums I'm Tom" 🤣

@seascaped if his comments bother you, ask him to keep them to himself

i agree with @gannett.

i had an ex that would get crazy stupid when a select few female celebrities would appear on tv, especially in "provocative" poses and it was a little hurtful because the reaction was so OTT. he also tended to do double takes if he saw someone attractive when we were out and about. which all of this would be ok but it just happened too often to my liking.

Every time he says it say 'and where's my compliment'?

This!

he also tended to do double takes if he saw someone attractive when we were out and about

How rude!

My take: it’s a bit suspect to go on about others’ beauty, especially random slebs they don’t even know.

I'm really chilled out when it comes to this, I've encouraged dp to say stuff like that (doesnt bother me if he was to say "I'd shag her" either) I'm totally secure in our relationship and often bring them into our sexy talk, which he loves.

@IdblowJonSnow

Just tell him you're not comfortable and to keep his tap shut. This is because I think when a man says someone is beautiful it means they would like to shag them. Obviously this is a generalisation but based on my personal experience. Also, just why would you need to know? At worst its sleazy, at best its insensitive.

The irony of your username

Not in the slightest, I have got to say thou that it is usually me who comments mostly on the beauty of other females. Dp would never comment in a disrespectful way as in crudely

I just dont understand what is the need to comment on such a thing.
Why do people feel the need to talk or comment on others looks, whether it's a man commenting on a woman or a woman commenting on a man, I really dont get it.

@Jellybaby4

I just dont understand what is the need to comment on such a thing. Why do people feel the need to talk or comment on others looks, whether it's a man commenting on a woman or a woman commenting on a man, I really dont get it.

Yes I feel kinda the same . It wouldn’t upset me that they did this but I’d be thinking they are possibly a bit superficial to be hung up enough on looks to actually have to verbalise it . I mean we all noticed the way people look for better or worse but hey I don’t walk DONT the street and say out loud wow that guy looks like a hatfull of assholes so why should I say wow that’s ones cute It’s such an insignificant part of life , people come in all shapes sizes and looks , big deal .

*Dont walk down the street

My DH and I were watching Aladdin yesterday (the one where Will Smith is the genie) and my DH commented on how beautiful the girl is who played Princess Jasmine. I've been with DH since I was 16 and been married for 36 years. I think we will get past this 😀

Think it. Don't say it. What is the actual point of telling your other half that someone else is hot/beautiful? Really? What is the point? There is no need.

i had an ex that would get crazy stupid when a select few female celebrities would appear on tv, especially in "provocative" poses and it was a little hurtful because the reaction was so OTT. he also tended to do double takes if he saw someone attractive when we were out and about. which all of this would be ok but it just happened too often to my liking.

Well, that's just awful, really. That's just intolerable, to be honest. Glad he's an ex.

I actively encourage these conversations

This wouldn’t bother me at all. The only time it would be a problem is if he commented on other people but never complimented me. Other than that I have no issue with it or with telling partners if I find someone beautiful/hot etc. You don’t step finding other people attractive just because you’re in a relationship

A long time ex of mine used to do this, always about celebrities, but also he would refer to them by their first name as though they were known to him
Along the lines of 'See Pamela (Anderson) in that dress the other night, she was well fit, would totally get it'
I just found it pathetic, disrespectful and downright weird if I'm being honest. However I was young and silly and certainly wouldn't entertain any such bollocks now.

NRFT - but I’ve seen a thread or two very similar to this in the past and they both piled it on the OP and called her everything under the sun and that she was insecure, paranoid, jealous, obsessive, it was awful.

I personally would find it very disrespectful. We’re all human and can see who is attractive etc but we don’t need to share it with our significant other.

I trust my DH but I know we both share the same boundaries as to what we find acceptable/unacceptable and thankfully we’re both on the same page. I know he wouldn’t be happy if I said ‘corrr he’s fitttt’, he’d be raging and rightly so.

We do discuss who we found attractive in the past and we’ll say stuff like, ‘ they make a good looking couple’ etc but to say ‘she’s beautiful’ is a no from me.

I compliment someone I'm watching on tv be it a man or a woman!DH agree's or disagree's.It's good he compliments you as well though,I would be worried if he kept complimenting other women and not his partner.

@Wearywithteens

I say women are ‘beautiful’ - it is used in the same context as a view, or a dress, or a poem being beautiful. I’ve also said it about men and children. People can use it as a perfectly innocent adjective to give an opinion. I’ve also described people as being beautiful ‘but ugly on the inside’.

Yes. I say men are beautiful too. Saying it about an actor on telly is a bit different to saying you fancy some random on the street.