Ex won't have kids when I'm at work,am I in the wrong?

[nating]

I work part time 20 hours.
My ex doesn't work and neither does he's gf (he has 1 son with her and her 2 kids )
He pays me no maintenance and has them Saturday night (3 a month as he wants 1sat off )
I've started a new job and I'm classed as a key worker so they will be going to school.
Half term I have to work (as a new starter at my job I can't put holidays in till the following half term)
I have no childcare for the (Monday ,Tuesday and Wednesday )
I asked him could he have them as I can't stay off work on my second week.
He said
No I have them Saturdays,I will have them the Monday but that's it,I'm not your private babysitter,do what others do and work around your children.
I can't have 5 kids in here,sorry not going to happen
Take it or leave it!!

This is a man who doesn't pay a penny,doesn't work etc etc
Im not wrong here am I ?

You’re not wrong.

He’s a pathetic waste of oxygen! I’m so angry for you.

He's unreasonable. Really if he's not at work you should not have to send the children in as key workers. He should look after them. I don't want single Mums punished - but honestly why should they go in if a parent is home and not working.

I feel sorry for you that he's not prepared to help at all. Do you have any grandparents who can help? Would his help out?

It's not nice when he's prepared to have her 2 children there full time and he's now had another one who presumably lives there full time too. Your children are definitely not being treated fairly.

Well done for finding a job and I hope you find someone to help out. Do you have friend you can form a support bubble with? I think childcare bubbles are still allowed.

I don’t think you are wrong but sadly you can’t make someone have their kids so it’s not so much as are you wrong but you have to accept he won’t have them and look for an alternative, my ex has never and I mean never had the 4 kids we share once, so It could be worse!

No you are not wrong, he's a terrible father and he thinks he's a free babysitter wtf
If your DC are that much of burden to him, leave it up to them if they want contact.

Get a CMS claim in. I realise it won't be much.

What a disgusting individual he is. I am so sorry. He has made it clear that he is not interested in being a father.

He has no living parents and my dad works.
Friends etc have own children /work

He actually said if you can't manage your hours quit your job.

That’s vile. He has absolutely no concept of how selfish he is being and the impact it has on your life and income. He’s so disgusting.

Your not wrong he's a prick 😡😡

@nating

He has no living parents and my dad works. Friends etc have own children /work

Just ask everyone you know who likes your children.

If you don't ask no-one will help you, even if they just offer to have them for a day.

Why doesn't he pay maintenance exactly?

Tell him you will have no choice but to claim via CMS unless he helps. You’d get a tiny amount from him but I bet he would rather have the cash!

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams

Why doesn't he pay maintenance exactly?

He doesn’t work.

This has angered me!!! What an awful human!

Did you think he would say yes when you took the job? Or has your holiday child care changed? I'm sure you will never be able to depend on him!!

He’s a cunt

@nating you may find your school are prepared to provide some childcare over half term, depending on where you are.
Phone them tomorrow and ask, any provision might depend on how many people need it, and it may be limited to a max number of children.
But worth asking.

He's a twat but I assume that is why he is an ex!

As above, speak to the school. Ours opened for key workers through Easter and may half term last year so they may do something similar, or a ta may want the extra money. You are eligible to form a childcare bubble so chat to other friends, school mums etc see if anyone can help.

If one of the school mums was stuck for childcare, I’d have their kids over for a ‘playdate’ to help out. I work term time only. Is there not any friends you can ask? Could you query if the school is doing childcare over half term for key workers? My dds school did.
Yes, your ex is a lazy prick

Thanks everyone.
At my old job I was able to take my holidays during half term at this job I'm hoping I can but I need to earn the holidays.
I'm not sure if the school are open during half term but that's a good suggestion I will ask tomorrow.
He has never had a job.
He is on universal credit and I get 0
He claims he has no bank account etc
I drive the kids over to him and pick them up,he literally doesn't even have to leave the house.

He's lying, you can't claim UC without a bank account.

What a waster, honestly I would stop bringing my kids to see him. Let him get off his arse and collect them, if he doesn't they're better off without him

How on earth can he get UC without a bank account? Does someone from UC drive round to his house with a wad of cash for him .

Obviously YANBU but if he won't have them then he won't have them. Stop driving them over to his for visits. Let him worry about transportation.

He's an absolute arse, isn't he? Bloody hell.

This makes me really mad. I'm a front line key worker and single parent and I've also had to put my kids in school even though their dad is working from home. What a joke.

It's annoying to let him off the hook but do definitely ask school if they're running holiday care for key workers. It is standard around here - sports coaching companies are running it on school sites etc.

And go after him through the CMS. I know he's not working but surely he owes you something. Anything is better than nothing.

You can't make him be a decent parent but you can give him hell all the same.

Congratulations on the new job and good luck. In those circumstances, I'd help a friend out with childcare in an emergency. Hopefully a friend can help you.

Could your DF take annual leave? A big ask I know. Or ask a local childminder? How old are your DC btw?
I wouldn't take the DC to your ex ever again. He's had it all his own way for too long. .