I had a weekend from hell, sibling abuse

[BlueFlyAway]

Does sibling rivalry and abuse ever stop?

I'm on the receiving end of a bitter, hateful sister. She implemented estrangement some years ago after a row. I respected the estrangement. I was upset but I moved on with my life and I was happy without. I think the estrangement she implemented was a method of control from her. All these years later she's not happy. She keeps sending me messages. She can't get to me on the phone anymore, so she tries to get to me through other people or fake profiles. It's over and over and over again. Reading between all the insults, mocking and threats, she wants me to fix our broken relationship. I'm not interested in having a sister/sister relationship. She's done so much trying to get my attention. She mocked breast assymmetry that I have and its quite notable and went as far as sending me pictures of her boobs many times along with dirty messages:
'hey want to see what real tits look like'
'want to suck on these'
'all real, no chicken fillets'.

She's spent years trying to get my attention with dirty messages and insults.

I'm just after having another bad weekend from her. It's definitely a hamlet type of situation. She's a not a happy person and she wants a pound of flesh out of me thinking it might make her happy.

I went to the police before but they weren't interested in helping me and they said it's a civil matter. I went to 2 different solicitors too but they weren't interested in taking on my case. They made excuses not to help me. One solicitor tried to behave like a counsellor. The other solicitor bounced me back the other way and said it is a matter for the police.

I'm caught so much in another persons black soul.

I'm not interested in mediation because she's not able to meet another person have way and I tried on a casual basis before but she flung it back at me into my face and that was the end of it.

She doesn't get on with others in the family and so there's no one to talk to her.

We went to the doctor too for her mental health but that was also an impossible route because although she was showing signs of mental distress sending naked pictures to her sibling she wasn't hurting herself or others and because of that they didn't commit her to a psychiatric ward/hospital.

She behaves in a similar manner to others in the family too but its my turn for a new fresh round of hatred.

Your sister asked you if you wanted to suck on her tits?

@Sophiesdog2020

She is blocked on everything. Numbers changed. Emails changed. Limit on social media.

So how do you see her abusive messages?

A fake profile with new details won't be blocked.

Can you use a pseudonym and only give it to a select few. I have an adopted child and do this to protect my anonymity My social media name is nothing like my own and I don't post photos etc. Teachers and we also often do the same. Might put her off the scent.

A fake profile with new details won't be blocked.

True, but if Ops profile is set for only friends to see, any fake profile would have to send a friend request.

I ignore or delete any such requests, and then that person can’t see my profile and I don’t see any messages they send.

I also don't understand how she is sending you messages. If she is blocked on all social media, you have changed number etc, how is she contacting you?

I would go back to the police if I were you. Explain that you are receiving numerous unsolicited messages, including inappropriate nude photos with sexual messages from a family member that are making you very distressed. Explain that you are being harassed and ask how the police can help you

Are solicitors doing online/zoom meetings now because of the pandemic?

I will make an appointment for a C&D letter and hopefully that will help.

Can people here please help me? I need help to formulate my words. This is abuse that's going on yeses from her and I'm very stressed about it because it's never ending. I had a particularly bad weekend from her.

Cuntitinthebin,
Yes that was one of her many messages of filth. I have it backed up somewhere. On an old phone with the old number.

She finds it hard to get on well with people. I get on well with my other siblings and I don't think she likes it. Because we get on well, she has claimed incest when that never occurred within the family. That was her message, circulating around incest.

It sounds like you are being harrassed.

Keep evidence of all the messages she sends you and don't ever respond to her other than to ask her politely to stop contacting you.

Then go back to the police with the evidence.

She's so desperate she is choosing to go down other avenues of contacting other people associated with me. I can't control other peoples social media accounts. They usually block her and ignore her.

Change your mobile number, listed phone number at home, move if you can, delete all social media, open again with no photos and different name (eg your backwards).

If you're going to keep your phone, never reply to messages, block her number for calls and texts, block her on SM too if keeping it.

She'll only keep doing this while she's getting something out of it. You coming after her with lawyers proves you're bothered.

Don't give her the satisfaction.

It sounds like you want NC so be 100% NC.

Can people here please help me? I need help to formulate my words. This is abuse that's going on yeses from her and I'm very stressed about it because it's never ending. I had a particularly bad weekend from her

Words to who, OP?

No words to her are going to make her stop.

The best thing to do now is have zero contact with her and maybe speak to your doctor about the emotional effects of this harassment on you. They may be able to put you in touch with a counsellor who can help you process and manage the emotions she stirs up in you so you can move forward and let her deal with her own problems herself.

Go zero contact and out your social media on full privacy (e.g. fb so that others can’t add you). Change numbers. Then just ignore! I won’t bother with getting legal help it will make no doffernece at this point. Just don’t respond, set things so you can’t see it.

She finds it hard to get on well with people. I get on well with my other siblings and I don't think she likes it. Because we get on well, she has claimed incest when that never occurred within the family. That was her message, circulating around incest.

How do you mean she has aimed incest? Dp you mean she aims she was abused by a sibling or relative?
How old is she?

So many typos sorry.

What do you mean she claims incest? Do you mean she claims she was abused by a sibling, or relative?

I would come off face book all together .

Can I suggest you contact the Suzy lamplugh trust for support and advice regarding her stalking you (that's what it is- sister or not)
I also recommend you get honest with everyone you know - including your employer- about the threats and level of abuse from her.
Lastly you need to get so boundaried up yourself that get contact doesn't affect you - I think some therapy might help- your GP might be a good support.
Wishing you luck x

Iminaglasscase,

She claimed incest occurred in the family, but she never went to doctors or to any authorities with that. It was just claimed in many of her messages. Just an absolute filthy mind coming out, and that's all. She has claimed that me and others were involved in incest because we get on well and that's not true. We get on well, but not that well. It's just badness coming out.

No incest occurred in the family but it wasn't going to stop her. She claimed many more other filths too that wasn't true. She's well past teenage years that's for sure and should have a good grasp and control of her emotions but she doesn't.

Ktp,
No, I will not be contacting her. I will be contacting a solicitor. I don't know what to say when making the first call though. I'm very stressed and my head is a mess and so so so so sore.

It’s harassment. Keep a detailed record of all her attempts to contact you. It’s a course of conduct so she should be dealt with by the Police. It sounds like you’ve been fobbed off by the Police, go back and report.

Are you engaging with her at all? Do you ever reply?

You need to tighten up your Facebook. You can change it so she can’t see your friend list. I’d also change my name on fb, don’t have a profile photo. Makes it harder for her to find you. I’d delete and mutual friends or relatives, explain why and say sorry.

I'm not engaging with her and I'm replying to her.

There's another sibling who starts on a good path when it's his turn from her and he starts off well, ignoring her but he doesn't have enough patience and he snaps. She knows how to press buttons.

My friend list is not on display. It doesn't stop her remembering friends from the past.

She claimed incest occurred in the family, but she never went to doctors or to any authorities with that

Do you mean incest OP, or do you mean abuse? Did she tell people a family member abused her?

@Sophiesdog2020

A fake profile with new details won't be blocked.

True, but if Ops profile is set for only friends to see, any fake profile would have to send a friend request.

I ignore or delete any such requests, and then that person can’t see my profile and I don’t see any messages they send.

Very good point.

I'd forgotten that messages get sent to a "message request" folder.

I located that on Facebook a few years ago. I had a message from a since deleted account calling me a cunt and another from a guy I knew as a teen saying "when am I going to shag you". Both years old. 🤣