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Original poster

Period Sex

32 replies

Munskin · 25/01/2021 14:21

Hi all
I’ve been with my partner for 6 months - we are both adults with previous long term relationships. I was never a fan of period sex as mine were pretty rough but as I’ve gotten older I find I’m so horny during this time.
So last night we were getting all steamy and I said I wanted to have sex (I’m on my P) I was v horny & I won’t get to see him for at least 2 weeks. His reaction was weird - clearly he not a fan & he appeared grossed out .🤦‍♀️

I felt like crap & for a while bad that I got abit upset by his reaction & I felt I should have let it go . He said he felt like a dick but made no attempt to say anything more . He is away back to work today and we never mentioned it this morning but I’m feeling embarrassed, a little sad & can't stop thinking about it. Our sex life is amazing / I cant complain but this has got me.

Any advice ?

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 25/01/2021 14:31

Maybe just don't dwell on it. Some men don't mind period sex, some find it offputting. That's no indication of their feelings for you. I mean, don't take this personally.

You probably feel a bit awkward, he probably wonders if you think he's uptight and a bit squeamish now. I'm no sex therapist but I would leave this in the past and pretend it never happened. No idea if that's good advice!

I find with a Tampax in we can do other stuff; foreplay, clit stimulus etc so that might be a future option.

I'm on the contraceptive pill so run my packs together meaning I only have 3 periods a year. Is that an option? Periods are a nuisance especially in a new, I want to rip your clothes off stage of a relationship.

Don't feel embarrassed you asked him though. It was a fairly normal question I think.

dementedpixie · 25/01/2021 14:32

Period sex is messy and I'm not really a fan either. It will be strange/a bit freaky to see blood on your penis too i imagine so I can understand why he wasn't keen.

Santaiscovidfree · 25/01/2021 14:34

Period sponges allow for clean sex during shark week!!

EmptyOrchestra · 25/01/2021 14:34

I honestly can’t think of anything worse but my periods are absolutely horrific (endometriosis and adenomyosis). If DH suggested it I would be grossed out too, but he wouldn’t because it’s not something he wants to do either. I would definitely not take it personally - if you’re at all squeamish then it’s not going to be appealing.

autumnalrain · 25/01/2021 14:37

I do think you should have let it go because if the roles were reversed and he asked you to do something you weren't comfortable with and he sulked about it, he would get flamed on here. Just because you're horny doesn't mean he is obligated to satisfy you.

People are into different things. If he isn't into period sex you have to respect that. Don't take it personally, its just not what he's into.

BibbityBobbety · 25/01/2021 14:37

Please don't feel embarrassed!! Lots of men are perfectly fine with period sex, and even if they aren't wouldn't make you feel gross for suggesting it. I've even had had it the first time i had sex with someone and he was completely relaxed about it. So this is his own personal perception of period, and nothing to do with you.

However, if he doesn't like it, there's not much you can do, it is his choice after all. You could always ask what about it he finds 'gross' and maybe suggest ways it doesn't have to be messy, or whatever else he has issues with. Using a condom maybe, putting towels down etc. If he still isn't convinced then you'll just have to make your peace with it. But definitely do not feel dirty about it, or like you shouldn't have asked - it's a normal request, but he is allowed to say no, and that isn't a reflection on you.

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 25/01/2021 14:41

No reason to be upset, Period sex is messy. I have adenomyosis but even without I don't think I could have period sex. I bleed 3 weeks out of a month so we have to get our chance in when we can. If DP suggested Period sex I think I might whoop him over the head with a san towel.

I think maybe if you are upset, you may just need to remember he said no because he is grossed out by it, it is not personal. He probably didn't want a discussion about it and I believe that is ok.

Palavah · 25/01/2021 14:42

Have a chat with him about it. There's nothing shameful in having desires or boundaries, and discussing them. If you're horny at that time what else can he do to help you feel satisfied? Is there anything that would make him feel comfortable having sex? Sometimes it's just a bit of warning! Or a (lubed) condom?

JesusAteMyHamster · 25/01/2021 14:45

Get a Mirena fitted.

It covers the risk of pregnancy and there's a good chance your periods will stop.

cherrypop86 · 25/01/2021 14:46

I don't really like it myself. I have heavy periods and bleed for about 8 days but I can have sex when it's light, on about day 6 which I'm ok with. It can be gross, messy and smelly so it's not surprising that not everyone will be into it. I suppose it depends on what his reaction was and exactly what was said.

Original poster
Munskin · 25/01/2021 14:47

Thank you all- agree with everyone & I didn't push it as I wouldn't have liked it if the roles were reversed.
I'm definitely not one to want it every time I'm on my P -not because of ‘ the mess’ but because I feel rough af. ❤️ x

OP posts:
MerlinsSaggyLeftTit · 25/01/2021 14:51

I've only ever been with one bloke who didn't mind the idea, all the others have been quite put off. I wouldn't be keen myself to be honest. I've always assumed this was a fairly common reaction. Perhaps just have a chat with him about it when you're not in the moment, and let him know how it all made you feel. You said he told you he felt like a dick so it isn't just you who feels off about it all. Don't let it build up in your mind.

Changemaname1 · 25/01/2021 14:55

Some men mind some don’t and I think it perfectly reasonable for them to not want to .

As long as it’s not my first 1-2 days when my belly hurts / it’s heavy then if their game then I’m in Grin

unbotheredbutbewildered · 25/01/2021 14:57

I can see why he would be grossed out - it's a common male reaction.

My answer on this is; don't give him oral when you're on your period (in my experience most men expect this). It is selfish to deny him, but equally if there's 5-6 days a month where he won't have sex with you and you're suffering because you can't have an orgasm, why should he be given one?

That's the action I've always taken when my ex's got 'grossed out' - was amazing how quickly their minds changed. If he's the same, I suggest you go into the shower for it!

Raidblunner · 25/01/2021 15:09

In my humble experience as mentione, one can engage in foreplay and mutual pleasuring.
Its probably not ideal but at the same time if both parties are ok with it then absolutely.

Plussizejumpsuit · 25/01/2021 15:09

I think there's a bit of a perception that it's quite cool to do period sex. I have very heavy periods and lots of pain due to adenomyosis. I don't like it personally. Neither does my partner. However i wouldn't want to feel he thought periods were gross or shameful.

So I think your partner should have been nicer and more respectful with how he said it wasn't for him.

Pyewhacket · 25/01/2021 15:14

@Santaiscovidfree

Period sponges allow for clean sex during shark week!!
Shark Week, love it. We used to refer to period pains as womb rage. Altho I was sterilised 15 years ago so hubby hasn’t had his purple wings for a while.
Silenceisgolden20 · 25/01/2021 15:16

Surprised by some of the answers on here that periods are gross and what the hell is shark week??

If he's not into it, that's fine he doesn't have to be. I think it's his reaction that has upset you? Not a very mature one by the sounds of it.
Periods are natural, in an adult relationship you should be able to talk about it?
Talk to him.

And I don't agree most men find it gross. Not at all

Respectabitch · 25/01/2021 15:19

Agree with PP not to take it personally. He feels how he feels. As long as he's not shaming you for asking, that is. I would also agree with PP not to fall into a rhythm of him expecting oral sex with no reciprocation when you're on. If he wants no-PIV satisfaction, that's fine, but he should be prepared to give you satisfaction too, with use of a menstrual cup or tampon or whatever as necessary.

Personally I'm of the "put down a towel and party 'til it's dry" school of thought and find orgasm to be the best remedy for cramps, so I would understand if a man didn't want to have PIV during heavy flow days but I wouldn't be impressed if he refused to come near me.

Palavah · 25/01/2021 15:21

Also suprised by the idea that a period is something one's partner needs to be protected from even hearing discussed in the context of sex!
OP, like you I often feel super-horny during and orgasm is a huge pain relief. You were right not to push it in the moment but no reason you can't have a calm conversation about it outside of the bedroom.

BaggoMcoys · 25/01/2021 15:22

I don't think you should take this personally, or think it has any reflection on his attraction to you/says anything about your relationship. It's just not something that everyone will feel comfortable with and it's not something I'd naturally expect from anyone I was in a relationship with. I'm not against period sex but have never actually done it.

I'm in a newish relationship and we haven't slept together at all yet. It's been difficult to see each other and the last time we were able to get together we had planned it to be the 'big night'... but then my period started. I asked if he wanted to and he agreed but then he couldn't actually keep it up Blush. I don't know if it was because he was uncomfortable with the thought of my period, or whether it was general anxiety, but it was fine. I didn't feel embarrassed or unwanted or anything like that. I was a bit disappointed because I'd been looking forward to it and am not sure when I can next see him now, but other than that it was fine and we still had a great time together. I wouldn't take this to heart. You weren't wrong to ask, and unless he behaved like a schoolchild over it, he wasn't wrong for saying no.

Respectabitch · 25/01/2021 15:27

Just a little earworm for everyone for next time they discuss this subject

ErickBroch · 25/01/2021 15:38

Ah don't worry OP I understand you probably feel a little silly now but it'll pass. Men do seem to be 50/50 on it from my experience (so i understand why you mentioned it) but personally I don't like it all. Just try and shake it off Flowers

cherrypop86 · 25/01/2021 15:44

By the way, I wasn't saying periods themselves are gross, they are natural. Just that sex on a period can be messy and sticky. I find period sex makes me feel dirty as I bleed extremely heavy and the action of sex makes it come out faster.

happymummy12345 · 25/01/2021 15:55

I wouldn't take it personally. Some people just don't like it. I wouldn't want to do it.
Not the same for me because I'm on the combined pill so I have withdrawal bleeds instead of actual periods, and I take 6 months worth back to back so I have 2 bleeds a year.
But i still wouldn't do it at that time.

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