Is cheating worse if you’re married ?

[Lauren551]

I’m not cheating and I hope to god I haven’t been cheated on .

We are not married .

However I’ve been through a lot with partner of 11 years , we live together as if we are married and we have 3 children together which got me thinking , do some people view these situations ok to still play field in because they aren’t married ? Do you think some people have this opinion that because you aren’t married it’s not cheating as such ?

I don’t think this at all I think it’s cheating just the same as being married but having gone through some issues with my partner last summer end separating for 6 months after seeing some text messages in his phone that crossed the line of loyalty and honestly I’ve spent more time online on similar forums to this and I’ve seen more than one person refer to not being married as if this justifies cheating ? To me marriage is just paper I’ve never cared for marriage much but would love to hear others views on this ?

Is cheating on your long term partner who you live with and have children with the same as cheating on your married partner ?

Absolutely the same imo.

Marriage is a LOT more than a piece of paper, especially for women. I hope you haven't given up your job/stopped advancing your career in order to raise his kids.

Tbh, i think cheating is shit whenever it happens, but my gut says it's worse in marriage because you've actually made the solid, witnessed commitment to not doing it. Outside of marriage it's just kinda implied, rather than explicitly stated. In the same way i think it would be more embarrassing to be divorced after a huge 200+ wedding than a 10 person register office job. I can't really explain that though.

Cheating is cheating regardless

Yes it's the same in opinion. When you've been together 1 year or married 20 years you've still made a commitment to one another.

I think the pain it causes is the same regardless of whether you're married or not.

I know of at least 2 men who claimed that it wasn’t cheating as they weren’t married. Both had been with their partners for more than 5 years .

It's shitty regardless, but yes I would consider it worse if the couple were married. For the reasons
@Ohalrightthen gave

Emotionally it feels the same I guess but marriage means you've publicly stated and promised you won't cheat. The emotional impact on the cheated partner will be the same I guess, but the financial impact will differ if it results in the breakdown of the relationship.

Cheating is cheating if you aren't married. It is adultery if you are.
Opinions vary over which is worse, there are frequently posts on here about a DP who is still married, but the poster doesn't see herself as having an affair because of various reasons.
Those reasons usually involve the phrase "technically married" which is only ever used towards the end of a marriage, at the start it is 'legally married'.
If you are in a relationship with someone, love them and have children with them, betrayal is going to hurt, having had a wedding will make little difference to that. If you break up over it, being married will have an impact on the logistics.

I am wondering why your relationship bar is this low to start with. What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up then?

Cheating is cheating regardless of whether you are married or otherwise. If he has cheated on you he is not worth staying with end of.
Would you want your children as adults to have a relationship like yours?

What do you get out of this relationship now? What do you want to teach your children about relationships and what are they learning here?

Cheating is terrible no matter what however, it’s worse in marriage as you’ve made a legally binding commitment to each other to spend the rest of your life together.

Yes and no.

You may find it easier to send him packing if you are working and not married or if you are married and not working. But if you are not working and not married you might put up with it because you can’t afford to restart your life with children on tow.

How vulnerable are you here in a legal sense too?. You and he are not married so on separation you would be treated as two individuals not related to each other. What is his is his and what is yours is yours. He would only be financially responsible for his children, he has no such obligation to you personally.

No difference. A committed relationship is a committed relationship.

I think cheating is made 100 x worse if there are DC involved. So much is at stake.

Of course it's the same - if you're supposed to be in a committed monogamous relationship of any flavour, if you cheat it's bad.

I'm sure people do have mental hierarchies to suit themselves, but if you're supposed to be in a faithful relationship, it's a shitty thing to do.

I was engaged to someone for 4 years and he cheated on me. I was utterly devastated and I am sure the pain I felt would’ve been the same if I was married. I think the pain would’ve been dragged out if we were married because of divorce or trying to make it work. But I don’t think cheating is cheating if you made a commitment to each other with or without a legal document. Took me many years to get over him and I still years later mourn the loss of our relationship.

I think it depends on the level of commitment. Having financial ties and kids with someone seems more commitment to me than for example a married couple who haven't been together long with no other ties.

Being cheated on is always shit and it's a shitty thing to do. People will try to qualify it as "technically single" but everyone knows it's bullshit.

There’s no difference to me. I think that children being involved adds a layer of awfulness to cheating though.

Cheating is cheating
If you are in a relationship it should remain exclusive.

Cheating is cheating whether you are married or not. If you are in a relationship but not married of course its still cheating. It shows a complete lack of respect for your partner so whether you're married or not is irrelevant.

Been cheated on is just a painful if you're married or not. Agree with previous poster, having kids with someone who's cheated on you makes it harder

Stomping on the heart of someone who loves and trusts you is a dick move regardless of your legal status.

I think it would hit me harder now that we’re married than it would have done when we weren’t. There’s so much more to untangle if your marriage breaks down.

I think, generally speaking, some people view being married as more committed than cohabitation.

Still shit though, either way.

You were stiill his partner. A partner is a partner whether married or not.

Please don't marry him tho! I suggest binning him.

Financially etc of course it can be more involved if people're married.

The thing is, the fact that you are asking suggests that you know that marriage is more than a piece of paper.

However, cheating in a committed relationship is still cheating. Your legal responsibilities towards the family you created with a partner differ, depending upon this piece of paper...