How likely to form an affair during lockdown?

[Peppery123]

Dont want to say too much as I believe that will just skew any serious answers
But..say your dp/dh is working from home since the original lockdown in March 2020. And has only recently gone back to the office for only two days a week but hardly anyone in there because of the pandemic.
How likely is it to form an affair?
Like it would be all down to just texting as the majority of the time he would be at home, no chance of going out to the pub for drinks , socialising somewhere etc.
So could it happen? Would the average woman be satisfied with just tects here and there. Wouldnt that eventually phase out and become boring?

Im in two minds at the moment

I know how very tempting it is to confront him now but honestly the best thing to do is to wait.

All he will do is say he isn't and if he is up to no good he will cover his tracks so much better whereas if you manage to keep up the not suspecting anything routine/act then hopefully he will slip up and you will be able to get evidence of this.

I know how horrendous it is to have this feeling and the instinct is to act on it immediately but please try to hold off. I know it is rubbish to know that no answers right now but I suppose at least being on here is an outlet instead of keeping it all inside and it driving you demented as that is also when your suspicions are likely to spill out to him as well.

@Peppery123

I would be interested to know why you haven't asked if Singleusername isnt married as well??

I can only assume she is or living with someone to take such risks.
I dont want to judge single, but the fall out when you get caught will be very destructive for you.

@Cheeseandwin5

Her posts havent come across that shes married or live with someone but that is a great point..I dont condone cheating on both parts.
I wrote this post as I genuinely want to know peoples thoughts about having an affair during lockdown. I cant say I was paranoid before lockdown about dh and even 8 months in. Its just his behaviour now seems to have changed

They could have started something from before lockdown and as you are kind of stuck together you've noticed more of his unusual behaviour? It's really difficult to know when the right time to bust him is so to speak.

To be fair to @singleusename235689, I don't think she is boasting or anything similar, she was just trying to answer your query using her experience. Whilst I think there are better ways to proceed, I do not know her or her AP's situation or what has led them to be where they are. It would be totally unfair for me to comment too, and it would poor advice on my part as I would be reacting from prejudice and bias rather than any facts. As such my motivation would be to express my own views rather than help her.

Anyway to answer your question, I think you should wonder how easy it would be for you to have an affair and assume it would be the same for him.

If his behaviour has changed and is making you paranoid to the point you are tracking his online activity to the minute and cross referencing it to when he messages, you have a relationship problem whether he is having an affair or not.

As a side note, in my younger and wilder days, I used FAB for all kinds of hook ups. Mainly messaging. But one married man did offer to call round to my house in the morning on the way to work...so it is entirely possible he could be up to all sorts. Affairs don't have to be long romantic dates..

OP I see you said he's done this before with a colleague? Do you mean getting too close via texts or an actual established affair or? I think @BlueLionel has a point about you being stressed to the point of timing when he's online (I have done this a few times in an insecure/bad relationship in the past but it's also true that people can show as being 'online' when the app is only open in the background so I don't think it's definitive) but if he has cheated or attempted to cheat in the past it does change things somewhat.

So you are having a go at another woman for having an affair yet you say your husband has form? Why does he get off the hook?

Hi OP

I had a thread a couple of months ago. My husband admitted to having an emotional affair a couple of months back. It started since lockdown, but I think it ramped up from September.

We all WFH, he saw her twice since March (I know his work team were all there when he saw her). All communication done via phone, message etc.

Anyway he told me, I told her I knew and she hasn't spoke to him since! So it can happen.

I suppose he’s got away with it before so it’s likely he’ll do it again. It’s awful and I genuinely feel for you, but you can’t be that surprised.

Lockdown won’t stop him. People who want to see each other will find the means.

I know of people who have been having affairs. well emotionally cheating using what’s app as a way to communicate... it can easily be done ... lockdown or not

I know a few people chatting to people they shouldn't be atm too. The thing is, if he wants to do it he will find a way. I have no advice because I've been with a few paranoid partners rather than the other way around and I would never check someone's phone. I hope he's not doing anything obviously.

Well it’s always possible for someone to have an affair anytime - my dh managed a full physical affair AT work / on the way to work never going out anywhere or being late home as we had a newborn.

Whether your husband is unfortunately can’t be worked out from here.

[quote Peppery123]@singleusename235689

It is relevant...isnt that why you mentioned it? Do you have any sympathy for his wife and kids..[/quote]
www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/christchurch-marsh-ltd-employee-videoed-having-sex-with-senior-colleague-flies-home-to-uk/news-story/a7d930b802767ee218c85770a3795f42

This will be you.

I think people make an opportunity when they want something.

You don't need hours and hours to meet up and have a physical or emotional affair.

I'd site and wait, play dumb and stop questioning him about times he's on WhatsApp. Check his phone if you get the chance.