How likely to form an affair during lockdown?

[Peppery123]

Dont want to say too much as I believe that will just skew any serious answers
But..say your dp/dh is working from home since the original lockdown in March 2020. And has only recently gone back to the office for only two days a week but hardly anyone in there because of the pandemic.
How likely is it to form an affair?
Like it would be all down to just texting as the majority of the time he would be at home, no chance of going out to the pub for drinks , socialising somewhere etc.
So could it happen? Would the average woman be satisfied with just tects here and there. Wouldnt that eventually phase out and become boring?

Im in two minds at the moment

Does he go out to exercise? I'm aware of instances that one partner goes out to exercise, but sometimes pops in on AP to exercise that way...

Peppery123

The connection between me and this other person has definitely deepened since WFH - and I've known him over ten years. Everyone else the connection has lessened. All innocent, both married but I can understand how this type of situation, even when physically separate, can lead to greater bonding.

I'm sorry you're feeling anxious and I'm not trying to say your dh is up to no good, I just wanted to give you my experience.

I use WhatsApp and I'll sometimes just read old messages /look at photos so whilst I'm not messaging I'm still active. For what it's worth, there is zero personal texting /messages between me and my senior colleague. It's all verbal communication.

I checked his whatsapp as I was texting him.a shopping list. He was online and receiving my messages but not reading them. I was asking him something important - medication for newborn, to pick up. He had been online for about 4 minutes and still not blue ticked my messages.
I didnt say anythig vut curiousity got the best of me as I know for a fact he only txts his parents pn whatsapp and a close friend. He prefers txt message for other contact. Also his display pic is a picture ofnme and him - not that that means anything as I know you can disable ppl from seeing DP anyway....
Anyway, his messages were just me at the top. He had text noone else except his dad that morning. I was txting him around 1pm at the time....
It happened the next day he wqs txting me from upstairs to do something. This time I jokingly txt back who are u online to all of a sudden this was at 9.10am ...he replied a few mins after "harry"
Then when he gotndown he showed me his txt message to harry that was sent at 9.13 when i knew for a fact he qas online before that for a few mins fro 9.10am....
It might sound crazy but I made sure I clocked the time, i dont wanna read too much into this but I feel theres something off

Hmm yes . Suspicious.

Do you know his passcode ?

@Livandme

No hardly! Its me that has to bug him ro go outnfor a walk. Hes been really bad since lockdown hardly going out, I have to drag him out on family walks. Hes only been back to the office for 4 weeks now but dont think he does much exercise at all always at home

The chances of treacherous bastards having an affair, online or otherwise, is always pretty high. Covid or no covid.

Opportunity is the catalyst for them, always. Someone who responds is all it takes.

@LaMainDeFatima

Yes. Hes never changed it. Iv sometimes snooped when suspicous but hes definitely keeping phone closer to him now

If it is an affair he is a total rookie. If he had any sense he would be using a separate social media, like Kik, far too much chance of sending message to the wrong person if you are using the same SM forum for your AP as everyone else.

And newly weird phone behaviour was a regular that came up on that thread on here about how your knew your DH was having an affair.

You'll need to get to it : when he's asleep or in shower ? Gone for a number two ?

But he may well have deleted them after each chat

I was contacted this week from a blast from the past via linked in, married, after a few pleasantries he started saying how good it would be to meet up, do I still live at x, he was definitely after more than a cup of tea so they will find a way if they want to.
If always say trust your gut and try and get access to his phone

Then when he gotndown he showed me his txt message to harry that was sent at 9.13 when i knew for a fact he qas online before that for a few mins fro 9.10am....
It might sound crazy but I made sure I clocked the time, i dont wanna read too much into this but I feel theres something off
Well he out and out lied to you, so definitely something is going on.

Exactly
Ive actually been feeling guilty thinking Im being way OTT. Im glad other people are seeing at suspicious otherwise I'd be feeling like Ive lost the plot.
The question is
..what now? Do I confront? Wait it out? Keep checking phone etc. I just feel its going to be a exhausting few weeks worth of paranoid mayhem

@coldsunnydays

I agree, however I have s strong inkling its a work colleague. So may already have numbers etc

Don't confront. What do you think will happen there? He'll deny it.

Trust your instincts and there will be some evidence at some point

Sadly, some people are selfish and only care about themselves. If he has no reason to be there then it could well be.

Or he might just want some time to himself??

@singleusename235689

I met my AP during lockdown. When second lockdown came in we moved from hotel rooms to sex in his office when he is there as he is the only one in. We also meet outside once a week - when we are exercising. The married people's dating sites are very active at the moment.

How grim. I hope you find a way to tackle your lack of self respect and consideration of other people's feelings and also safety during a global pandemic... there must be some deep rooted issues there and I genuinely hope you can tackle them for you and the people your behaviour will affect.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

What a yawningly predictable comment. You've got it all there - the egotism, the arrogance, the judgement, the simplicity - all that aimed at people and circumstances you literally know nothing about. So right back atcha, I genuinely hope you can tackle the deep rooted issues that lead you to behave like that.

@singleusename235689

You didnt answer my question. Is the guy you hooked up with married? With kids? Is it worth it?

[quote singleusename235689]@youvegottenminuteslynn

What a yawningly predictable comment. You've got it all there - the egotism, the arrogance, the judgement, the simplicity - all that aimed at people and circumstances you literally know nothing about. So right back atcha, I genuinely hope you can tackle the deep rooted issues that lead you to behave like that.[/quote]
I'm ok with judging people who say this:

"When second lockdown came in we moved from hotel rooms to sex in his office when he is there as he is the only one in."

It is grim. You crack on though, enjoy your yawning.

@Peppery123 I did answer your question. See upthread. I'm not answering your new questions as they are not relevant to your original OP.

@youvegottenminuteslynn Your comfortableness with judging strangers was never in doubt.

@singleusename235689

It is relevant...isnt that why you mentioned it? Do you have any sympathy for his wife and kids..

OP - first off - WhatsApp can show someone as being online while it’s open at the background on a phone, or a computer. The person may or may not be online at that time.

Second - if you really would like to snoop on his WhA usage - you can sneakily log on into his account on your computer. You’ll need access to his phone for a bit as you’ll need a code, etc and to erase notification that would pop up.

But in general - I think many people are struggling with lockdown and lack of human interactions. And with being stuck at home with their partners/kids - irrespective of how much they love them.
I do think many people are craving human connections and banter with people outside of their ‘cell-mates’ so to speak. And I don’t necessarily think it’s the same as having affairs in normal times. I think it’s people trying to survive these crazy times.

I have no idea if your H is doing anything wrong. Maybe he is just chatting to colleagues or friends. Maybe it’s a bit more. It’s hard to tell with the little bit of info you have here.
Confronting him with no facts would lead to nothing, so I’d not do that.

@MMmomDD

Thanks . He has done this before with a work colleague. Im in two minds if its her again. She is classed as CEV so I dont think they would meet or who knows....but I do think they would text as she lives alone, no partner or children. I dread to think what lockdown has been like for her.

I wouldn’t confront him yet he will just deny it and cover his tracks better bide your time until you have proof

No, OP its absolutely not relevant. You asked if an affair can happen during lockdown. I replied to show you it can and you are right to be wary. You are now trying to turn this into a inspection of my personal morals. I did not start a thread on AMA, and I have no intention of talking to you about why I have this relationship.