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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ended things but he won’t leave

41 replies

Lockdownisshit · 22/01/2021 04:16

I told him it was over
Packed his things told him to go stay in his own house, he won’t accept this
Unpacked his stuff and put everything back
Said he will stay in the other room
His house is a mess (having works done) but I don’t see why ge can’t just go there to get his head down hes in work all day anyway but he is refusing
He won’t stay with family either so although i have ended it in no better off

OP posts:
BackwardsGoing · 22/01/2021 04:17

If it's your house and you're not married you can just call the police to help him leave. He has no rights to stay.

KatherineJaneway · 22/01/2021 04:18

Is your name the only one on the house you are currently both living in?

Original poster
Lockdownisshit · 22/01/2021 04:21

Yes its my house on the tennacy
I know I could call the police but I wouldn’t do that it seems extreme
Embarrassing I wouldn’t want police at my door ive never called the police in my life, i have children here
I wouldn’t want things to turn sour

OP posts:
BackwardsGoing · 22/01/2021 04:30

I think it's already sour, don't you? Are you worried he might become confrontational or violent? Are you and your children safe?

Original poster
Lockdownisshit · 22/01/2021 04:37

Yes we are all safe, he’s sleeping with them 🤨
He’s carrying on like nothings wrong
Been food shopping playing games before they went to bed wtf...

OP posts:
dublingirl66 · 22/01/2021 04:39

Could you ask him to get shopping in the morning

Put his stuff outside and lock the door

Turn t v up and ignore?

This has happened me and it is v frightening
He went on to attack me multiple times and refused to leave or accept it was over

BackwardsGoing · 22/01/2021 04:42

Please be very careful, this is not normal behaviour. Do you have any support IRL? Can you tell friends:family that you want him to go?

Original poster
Lockdownisshit · 22/01/2021 04:43

He’s in work all day tomorrow
he has a key too
I don’t want to cause a scene im don’t like confrontation

OP posts:
Original poster
Lockdownisshit · 22/01/2021 04:43

@dublingirl66 sorry you went through that hipe your ok
Sounds scary

OP posts:
Original poster
Lockdownisshit · 22/01/2021 04:46

@BackwardsGoing yes i could tell my friends / family they are aware im not happy not sure what they could do
He said he would ask his brother if he can stay there but wants me to give him a few weeks
He said 2 months at first but i said no
I can see it dragging out
I feel bad sending him to a run down house but its only to sleep somewhere

OP posts:
BackwardsGoing · 22/01/2021 04:50

You sound terribly passive OP. You can end a relationship for whatever reason you want. He is being coercive and abusive by not moving out of your house. Ask him once more to leave and then rope in help - family, friends or the police.

Do you still want him around in 6 months time? Because that's what you'll have if you don't take action.

Original poster
Lockdownisshit · 22/01/2021 04:57

I am :(
I will do i am going back to bed now was seeing to dogs but ive took my key off his keys
And i will tell him again tomorrow
Hes up for work soon
Thanks @BackwardsGoing

OP posts:
dublingirl66 · 22/01/2021 05:11

It's not your problem

If you can change locks tomorrow please do

He sounds dangerous

Leave his stuff outside when he goes to work

PandaBabyJuly · 22/01/2021 05:16

If you've took your key off of his - make sure you hide your keys / any spare keys you have to the house before he goes to work.

put his stuff outside; lock the doors and call the police on 111 to let them know; they may send officers incase anything happens if you know what time he finishes

Itstimetoquit · 22/01/2021 17:29

How's things today ? X

Original poster
Lockdownisshit · 22/01/2021 18:40

Hes still here acting normal
I will give him until tomorrow as I agreed to 2 nights anyway then tomorrow i am locking the door once he leaves
Thanks for asking @Itstimetoquit

OP posts:
LouHotel · 22/01/2021 18:48

Your letting him sleep in the same room as your kids? Are they his kids?

Original poster
Lockdownisshit · 22/01/2021 18:50

Yes they are his kids, hes on the bottom bunk an put my youngest in my bed with he
He wont sleep on the couch

OP posts:
dublingirl66 · 23/01/2021 01:22

Hope you are safe

That isn't normal at all

Sorry to hear you have to deal with this

Aquamarine1029 · 23/01/2021 01:35

I don’t want to cause a scene im don’t like confrontation

Ffs, op, you have to buck up and act like a adult. He is taking the absolute piss out of you. Tell him you will call the police if he doesn't leave, and then call if he won't. Change the locks and get on with your life.

Weenurse · 23/01/2021 04:57

Has he gone, and are you ok?

ChikiTIKI · 23/01/2021 05:10

Hope you got rid

Original poster
Lockdownisshit · 23/01/2021 11:27

Hes still here refusing to go said he won’t stay in his own place because its a mess (mostly ripped out no carpets etc...)
Im punishing him etc...

OP posts:
Itstimetoquit · 23/01/2021 11:34

Tell him he must go now,it's not an option but he seems to think it is,r u ok x

Biscuitsanddoombar · 23/01/2021 11:41

Bloody hell OP you really need to call the police, get him gone & then change the locks. This is a mind fuck of the highest order

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