If you have a different surname to your kids, how do you feel about that?

[screamsprout]

When ds was born we gave him dh's surname. We then got married but I didn't change my name. Dc2 is due early next year but I'm really not sure that I want to give this child dh's surname too, as then I will be in a 3:1 minority but really don't want to change my surname either!!

Is anyone else in a similar position and how do you feel about it?

my girls have dp's surname, am completely happy with it

Ds has a different surname to the rest of us, (he has a different father), we asked him if he wanted to change it and he doesn't, so!
It doesn't really bother me because he is still MY family (and my boy) and it's just a name!

It was really important to me to have the same name as DS, so he has my surname rather than DP.

I'd have this problem in reverse - my dd has my surname but if I take my dp's name on marriage then my dd will be the odd one out! I think the best way is to double-barrel our names so she is still 'associated' with me. My dp is not her father btw.

DD has my surname. I think it makes more sense for the maternal surname to be given.

Well I seem to be the odd one out here. DP and I are unmarried and neither of us are planning on getting married in the near future . I know that some people feel it is very important to be married but it is not something that is a priority to us. So when DD came we gave her DP's surname and then DS came and we did the same.

However I really disliked having a different name to my children. I didn't like it in the doctors when they called out our different names I didn't like going to toddler group and writing differnt names and then people asking if I was her step-mum. So DP and I talked about it and I changed my name by deed poll to his surname. I'm not bothered what surname I have but was really bothered about not having the same as the DC.

Everyone is happy with this situation

I have a different surname to my DS and I'm not at all bothered about (I wasn't married to XP).

We already decided before he was born that he would have XP's surname and that's just how it is!

I never think about it, until a thread comes up on Mumsnet

DS is myname-hisname, as are the cats.

lololololololol

I am in the same situation as Alibaabaa. We keep thinking of getting married and have been engaged for 10 years. I think that I would like to have the same name as them by the time DD is at school. I repond to Mrs * without taking offence. The Nursery and Drs etc are great at knowing we have different Surnames so perhap school won't be too hard?

I would quite like to get Married though!

This is something that i have been thinking a lot about. I'm soon to be divorced and I really don't want to be a miss or a Ms and I don't want different surname to my dc.

Probably because I thought my marriage would last forever and no one in my family has ever been divorced so i've never been forced to think about it before now.

df has different surname to her dd and it doesn't seem to bother her, but it does me. so for time being I am keeping married name but I do worry about if I meet someone else and we marry.

Our DC all have DP's surname can't say it bothers me or them, they are still mine! and the school always refer to me as 'Mrs ....' anyway!

Sorry Morningpaper ! But, you know, its one of those important things in life... we spent more time considering the kittens name that DS's (and what to do about my pre DH cat), and its a great comeback to those who questioned the double barrel thing 'Oh, but the baby will have to match the cats, its too confusing otherwise'. Makes the oldies reel !
Of course the cats are Schrodinger and Mendeleev, which did worry some family members that DS would be named in a similar vein.

I am not married but live with my dp and our ds. Ds has dp's surname and I have to admit it does bother me. I hate it when I phone the nursery and have to say my name and explain whose mum I am. I would much rather them be able to tell by the fact that I have the same name as my ds. Ideally we would have double-barrelled our names but our names sound ridiculous together so this was never really worth considering. My only option really is to change my name by deed poll or get married ... neither of which are ideal solutions, so I know where you are coming from!

You to all you with kiddies with a different surname - if you go abroad alone with them are you ever questioned at customs?

I really want to know this! I do plan to take my ds with the most bonkers (not mine) surname alone abroad long distance. How does that work?

Gave dd dp's surname and my surname as a last middle name (so she has two middle names ).

Dp and I got married this year but after lots of deliberation (his/dd's surname is really nice) decided to keep my name but to be known as/answer to Mrs xxx for family business. Tbh I always answered to Mrs xxx anyway!

It's fine so far, really glad I didn't change it (even though one of our close married friends can't quite cope and think we are terribly modern )

Mind you, I did find dd's red book where they wrote 'Baby Mysurname' and it made me go ahhhhh....