I met someone online at the end of last summer and we had an instant connection. We went from texting every day, to seeing each other every day. At the end of the year he moved in - we were both clear we're in it for the long haul.
It has all been so easy and effortless, apart from one area - sex.
Initially it was great: spontaneous and fun.
When we started spending every night together, he raised that I seemed to expect sex every bedtime, and that he felt under pressure. This was completely fair - a) he's very much a morning person so exhausted by bedtime, and b) my awful baggage is that I have got used to quantity of sex as an indicator of how much someone likes me.
Since then, I have completely backed off and not initiated, but it just means we are barely having sex once a week. I know he's even resisted full on kissing in case it's led to anything.
Last night I made a comment whilst watching a show about sex, and it has upset him. We've had a talk this morning about it.
He feels his life has been turned upside down, and with a new home, the pandemic, work stresses, he is struggling to feel in the mood. He also wants sex to feel spontaneous, but that's so difficult when I'm now scared of him feeling under pressure.
It feels like we've just had a major misstep over this and I have no idea how to get it back. We both see a real future together and it's so frustrating that we can't seem to get this back on track.
Any suggestions? I really don't want this to be a big thing, but I also feel really crappy that I'm trying to find ways to get my new boyfriend keen to sleep with me!