I think DH pregnancy fetish is back

[babylovexo]

Dear lord help me I honestly don't know whether I seem completely mad and unhinged or whether I'm on to something here 🤦

So a few years back I found out my DH had a fetish for pregnant women and their bellies and a full on porn addiction, if I'm honest it weirded me out quite a bit and I realised that he needed help which he refused and said that he would get better and he did we had our own child and everything has seemed perfect until around a month ago.

One way he used to hide it was by looking at articles on The Daily Mail or The Sun so you can imagine I was completely surprised when he said to me bold as anything that he had downloaded The Sun app. It sat uneasy for me a couple of days but then I thought to myself I have got to trust him he hasn't done anything like this in years.

A couple of weeks ago he left his phone on in the lounge whilst he went out and I saw on there multiple articles on the homepage of you guessed it...pregnant women!!! I approached it with caution as I know from past experience that going all guns blazing got me nowhere, he of course denied it and I completely believed him.

He has now been spending a RIDICULOUS amount of time on his phone on the app, now some might say he's looking at the news or sport like men do but he gets all of that through on his phone anyway, so it really set alarm bells off In my head.

I then decided to do some digging and download the app for myself to see if what he was saying about them being normal articles on there were true, Ive used it as I think he would use it (looking at articles of what interests me) and low and behold not a single pregnant women article in sight!!. This may be me completely throwing it out the water but how do I approach him on this without me looking like a psycho? 😂

I'm just worried that IF he has started doing this again it will ruin us because of how much he used to do all of this plus I've got our little girl to think about too as she's my main priority.

Sorry everyone for the ridiculously long message I just had to get that off my chest before going to sleep tonight 🤦😂😂

[DedlyMedally]

Fetishes don't disappear. This doesn't seem like an inherently harmful one or even a harmful way of satisfying it.

[changedmynamelol]

A lot of people have fetishes. Having a fetishised for pregnant women isn't illegal or make him a perv. Why did you tell him he needed help? I'm
not surprised he refused therapy.

[CorianderBee]

I don't think the fetish is that big of a deal - it's not uncommon judging by it being a category on most porn sites. Finding an adult woman who is pregnant attractive isn't that gross compared to the violent porn or very young looking women on many porn sites.

You can't really dictate what someone finds sexy so long as it's properly, fully legal.

[AndeanMountainCat]

I have a thing for having all 3 holes filled.

Polyfilla is your friend.

[imalmosthere]

@gutful

Op I think you need to stop talking about his fetish. & just ask he keeps it private & stop going through his computer!
It seems controlling to want to stop someone’s private thoughts.
It either disgusts you & a dealbreaker, or put it to the side & try to see it as a fantasy.

I have a thing for having all 3 holes filled. Yet am a monogamous Person & don’t have or want a 3 or 4 some.

His fetish isn’t “back” - it hasn’t gone anywhere. Only if he actually has sex with a pregnant woman & has a negative real life experience during it that it may stop.

Stop making him feel disgusted with himself because you feel disgusted by it.

THIS.
He is entitled to his own private thoughts. A lot have fetishes and pregnancy is a common one. Increased blood flow to the clitoris means many pregnant women find it easier to orgasm several times. Engorged breasts - it's the most natural thing in the world, sex and pregnancy. Lots of men see pregnant women as beautiful and glowing, so I really don't think this is a big deal at all.

[user1471565182]

I dont think its you who has to worry about looking like a psycho in this situation

[Crappysex]

I actually know a woman whose husband is obsessed with pregnancy. Shes pregnant with her 5th child.

[user1471565182]

Posters are blatantly trying to be achingly cool about sex whilst ignoring the fact hes completely addicted to porn. Lib fems strike again.

[TheVanguardSix]

I have a thing for having all 3 holes filled. Yet am a monogamous Person & don’t have or want a 3 or 4 some.

And you're with a loving, supportive partner who doesn't mind... or doesn't know?

Why MUST OP support a fetish she's not comfortable with? Why should her marriage accommodate behaviour that makes her feel like shit and affects her mental health? Obviously, YOUR 3 hole fetish doesn't affect your partner's sense of self worth or mental health. But that's you and your situation. OP is not you so you can't expect her to put up with something that doesn't feel good.

OP, you have to do what it takes in life to live a happy one. Life is full of difficulties and trials along the way. And you want to be sharing it with a person/people who encourage you to feel great in your own skin. And if your DH's fetish and porn habits take your sense of self worth away, then maybe this marriage isn't right. It's very hard to ask him to change his habits. But you both need to talk and meet half way or walk away.

[Edgeoftheledge]

I don’t think its weird or that unusual

[sickofit39]

@AndeanMountainCat

I have a thing for having all 3 holes filled.

Polyfilla is your friend.

😂😂😂😂😂

[gutful]

@AndeanMountainCat 😂😂😂😂😂

[ALittleBitConfused1]

I agree with previous posters it's his thing you can't stop that and neither can he. I think he has every right to private fantasies and it's not your job to police them.
I have my own and I watch porn too, probably 2 or 3 times a week, sometimes more and sometimes none at all.
I'm single but my watching porn doesn't change when I m in a relationship and it has never impacted any of my relationships either. Masturbation is a normal part of life and I like the visual addition of porn.
If I met someone who went down my phone and then questioned me about it which led to me feeling ashamed or disgusted, well id end that relationship.
I think the high volumes you saw were because you'd been away for a while and hed obviously abstained from any of the self satisfying for a number of days.
In any case I don't think you can police this and I don't think you should, neither do I think he should feel disgusted with himself. As long as it doesn't affect your relationship, sexually or otherwise then it's his business. If it's a deal breaker for you, thats fine too but it should mean you leave him rather than expect him to suppress a very normal part of his sexual personality.

[BadNomad]

If you didn't go snooping would you even know? You can't control his fetishes and if he's not being a creep around pregnant women then he's not hurting anyone.

However, if he is spending ridiculous amounts of time on his phone when he should be engaging with his family then that is an issue you can pull him up on.

[steppemum]

well, I seem to be going against the trend here but...

I don't like porn. I would be uncomfortable with a partner who had a porn addiction.
I don't like fetishes. I would be uncomfortable with that too.

So on balance, I would find that this was hard to live with and would probably be the end of the relationship.

I guess what I am saying is, if it is not for you, and you decide you don't want to live with it, that is fine. You don't have to.
Just because someone else is fine with it, doesn't mean you have to be.

[Kinsters]

I'd never look at my partners phone/search history. I'm aware that he sometimes watches porn (especially if we're not having much sex for whatever reason) but I have no idea what kind or how much. I don't think it affects his behaviour.

It sounds like you think the porn does affect your partner's behaviour so I can see why you went looking and aren't happy about it. Not sure what you can do about it though, maybe say you wish he'd spend less time on his phone and more time with you?