New lodger- help me tell them they need to leave

[Helpagirloutt]

Hi everyone

Sorry if this is not the right place as it is not relationship based. Sounds silly but I am feeling really quite uncomfortable with how to approach things with lodger. Basically he moved in only a couple of weeks ago, and at first he seemed fine , some differences, but nothing huge.

I have slowly began to realise though that he does drink a lot, and he is also a heavy cannabis smoker. He smokes outside, but the smell comes from his room where he stores it. Now this is where I may be flamed... I am worried I sent the wrong message to him as I have once smoked with him (before I realised he did not just smoke occasionally) so now I feel awkward about saying to him that the smell does bother me.

He has been drinking occasionally in the day and always does of a night, and smokes pretty often throughout the day and night. He was waking me being up all night but I have ear plugs now so this is mostly fine, but some very late nights can be disturbing.

Essentially, he obviously needs to leave. He has always been calm with me, but I know he has had a physical fight with family recently while drunk. I wonder how to explain to him that it is not working. He has complex mental health and clearly is always under the influence of something. I do feel awful as he’s been making himself at hole buying things etc. but I really cannot do this. He has not shown any aggression to me so I was shocked he got into a fight, and I don’t envisage him being aggressive to me but I can’t be sure as I do not know him really. I would therefore like to avoid any personal reasons or get into his alcohol or deug issues, so how would people suggest I phrase it?

I will need to relist the room as I need the money. I could wait until he is gone if it will make it worse if he sees me relisting, but would prefer not to. I have to give him one months notice.

Thanks!

I hope you are ok OP.

The minute you got out of the house safely was when you call the police.

Get him out.

He is not your responsibility.

So today we have been to his parents who are going to try and get him out themselves first, but will call the police if he will not come with them. If at all possible I would prefer him to get help rather than go through the police removing him, as I think that will escalate things. He had agreed to go to his mums in theory so we will see and his family are going to contact me once he has been removed.

I am just relieved my issues from earlier in the week have resolved, as stressful as it has been at least I have grounds to get him out now rather than stay put until March.

Have you managed to get him out yet OP?

Yes he’s out! Crazy experience and a lot of lessons learnt

Well done OP, pleased that you're safe now.

What happened? Were the police involved? My sister is in a very similar situation but she's worried about causing a scene and the neighbours seeing it all. I've told her that she just needs to tell him to get out but she thinks he'll kick off at her and she'd rather wait until the end of his contract.

So my situation was probably a bit unusual, I knew where his family lived as he had pointed it out to me. I went to speak to them about what had been happening and they luckily were very understanding, they contacted the police themselves and made arrangements for him to move to family.

My back up if they did not respond well was for my dad to come with me to tell him he had to leave, and we planned to be very forceful with that. Legally yes there is a contract but go maybe get your sister to read the contract to see if there have been breaches, as my contract did actually so no drugs stored or used on the premises etc. So I had planned to bring that out if he resisted.

Sorry I have no idea how to quote!