Long sorry. Have nc and changed some details in the hope of not outing myself. I have been on my own with DC for a long time, and frankly didn't have much relationship experience before that, so I feel pretty clueless and unsure.
DC has specialist physio, and I'm confused about what (if anything) is going on between me and the therapist. Sometimes I think he's just friendly and gregarious, sometimes I think there's more. Therapist comes to our house to work, sometimes he comes an hour early to 'catch up' with me, will ask about DCs exercises but also talk about general stuff. He is often very chatty/kind of flirty in texts, eg banter about coming in disguiseduring lockdown so he's not stopped by the police got a bit edgy. He works across a big area as it's a niche kind of physio, so is often driving distances and a few times we've talked on the phone while he's driving and he's been a bit open - eg talking about doing stupid things when you're a teen ended up with him telling me his eldest DC was conceived when he was a teen and only exists because he was hoping the girl in question would give him a lift to a club, and one thing led to another and there's a DC. I mean, that's a bit familiar, isn't it?
There have been other things, one time DC had a bit of a breakthrough in physio and the therapist took him for a burger as a reward - when they gotback DC said next time can we get KFC, and therapist said 'yes but we'll bring it back for other DC and mum, so we can all eat as a family'. Another time DC asked him to stay for dinner, and he rang me from the car to say he would have done if he didn't have another appointment later. He messaged on xmas day to thank me/DC for his very unexciting, box of Quality Street-type xmas present. But then he goes quiet, after that nothing for 2 weeks til he messaged to book the next session. I don't know what to think, we can message back and forth even quite late at night, then nothing.
I'm not 100% whether he's attached or not - though if I was his partner I don't think I'd be happy with him having bantery messages with single women into the evenings and on weekends. I know he's got several DC from more than one relationship, youngest are teen/20s at least, oldest nearer my age - he's 15 years older thanme. I think 2 DC live with him, but he never talks about a partner, he never says 'we' always 'I' - I'm going camping at the weekend, I'm getting takeaway can't be bothered to cook. He's got a flat in a part of the country he often works, and I know he stays there alone as he's left from here before for a few days there. But he's got dogs so there must be someone at home with them while he's away, could be the DC I guess. I've tried fishing for info, eg asking if lockdown messed up his xmas plans, he said it meant he wouldn't see eldest DC and extended family.
I'm fully aware that I'm starved of adult company, he's basically the only adult who's come in our house for months, and I had no male interest way before that, so I sometimes think it's that I'm just lonely and reading too much into it. But then I think he seems genuinely to want to see or message me. I'm so confused! Please MNers who have more experience than me, opinions on this?