Divorce

[DonnaMoulding1983]

Hi, my partner is currently going though a divorce. His ex started the process. At the decree nisi stage, it was ordered that he pays her divorce costs which at that point was only £160 for the divorce application fee. It has now been over 6 weeks and 1 day so decree absolute could be applied for but she has claimed financial orders. She has mentioned mediation but she has not arranged this yet. There are no assets/property and from what we can see only his pension to discuss. However she may well be thinking she might be entitled to spousal maintenance! They have 2 children aged 8 and 12 for who he pays maintenance for through CMS and are currently going through courts to secure his access as his access was consistently cancelled or reduced.
Where does that leave us with the divorce?? Any help much appreciated. Thanks

I don't blame her for wanting the finances sorted for the divorce is finalised. It will be a lot harder for her to get a fair share of his pension afterwards. Meditation takes ages to arrange, it's just how it is.
Is there any reason you're in such a rush?

If i were you, I would stay WAAAYYYY out of it. Let them sort it out. Nicely, it's none of your business.

What has your partner offered so far by way of a financial split?

He has been waiting for her to disclose what she is after but she doesn't seem willing to say anything. He did contemplate making an offer.

He isn't in a rush. She told him to get his pension details as it can take a few months. He did this and she knows he has the details but she now doesn't seem to want to keep the ball rolling or keep him up to date with any mediation arranged.

Have you namechanged mid-thread OP?

@DLM1983

He isn't in a rush. She told him to get his pension details as it can take a few months. He did this and she knows he has the details but she now doesn't seem to want to keep the ball rolling or keep him up to date with any mediation arranged.

Does she have the kids most of the time? Because tbh I can totally see someone deprioritising what is basically paperwork and boxticking while homeschooling two preteens in a pandemic.

Yes sorry, just after I posted. It is my first post and new to the site.

Her solicitor will be advising her to delay the Decree Absolute until the financials are sorted.

Have both sides done their Form E?

Yes, as Vigorothello said, it'll be her solicitor telling her not to complete the divorce until the finances are sorted.

Yes, he understands this. I'm not sure how helpful that comment is given the post was asking for helpful information.

It doesn't look like she had a solicitor but she may have got some free advice. He understands that it is best for the financial issues to be delay with before applying for the decree absolute. Is mediation something he can arrange or does it have to be initiated by her as she applied for the divorce?

No. Form E hasn't been discussed at all. He is expecting this to happen in mediation.

He can apply for mediation, he doesn't have to wait for her to do it.

Great, thank you for this information.

It's all in line with the standard process which is: decree nisi, financial consent order, child arrangements, then decree absolute after that. These things take time, and depending on how agreeable people are, the whole process can easily take years.

He has read that he can apply for the absolute if she hasn't after 3 months. If he wanted to apply for a clean break order, could he do this?

Im just wondering how any of it is your business OP? Its between the two of them, and unless your finances are linked to his in some way id butt out. He can find this info out for himself and i’m sure it would make her less cooperative if she knew you were sticking your oar in?

Your comment about ‘where does this leave us with the divorce is, frankly, bizarre. Unless you're divorcing her too.

Maybe they're planning to marry once it's through?

Maybe, but the divorce still is none of her business. Im going through divorce, ex has a new partner, so do I. if i even dreamed that she was involved in the divorce in any way I’d really reassess the whole process. I never discuss it with my partner, as its between ex and I. Its a basic level of respect, esp where children are involved.

How long have you been together?

You're only hearing one side of things so, respectfully, I don't think it's a case of "what we do about the divorce". It's a case of what HE and his ex does.

I think you should stay out of it to be honest.

@DLM1983 Yes he can apply for decree absolute after 6 weeks + 1 day + 3 months. Financial and child arrangements will still need to be agreed, decree absolute will not free him of the need to do it.

Clean break is agreed by both parties. So yes he may apply for it to initiate the process, but for this to be approved in court, his ex needs to be on board with the idea and provide all the relevant information about her finances.

As above I think you need to accept that this will take a long time no matter what you do.

He has read and told me that because we live together, my income can also be looked at. This is where it involves me for all those asking. The details of his divorce are very much between him and his ex. He tried to register on a separate forum for Dads but the registration didn't work hence the post on this site.
He has also read about people getting their absolute before financial issues have been finalised so again just wanted anyone's experience on this. Thank you to those that have provided helpful advice.

You can do decree absolute first but it will not automatically imply a clean break financially. Financial arrangements will still have to be agreed.