Is this controlling

[Donutsandjam]

So Saturday night oh decided we should order a take away, he wanted a burger and i said i wanted a pepperoni pizza.
Oh orderd the food and ordered my pizza coverd in peppers even tho id already said i just fancy a plain pepperoni one this time.. he said well I might want a slice.
It put me off and I only ate a little.
He orderd the food with my card details saying he would transfer the money to pay
He earns 33.7 times more than me
Whist eating I casually asked how myself it came to
Then he had a go saying dont u trust me i will put the money in, calling me saying im tight when i really was just asking how much as there was no hidden agenda on my part.

I asked how much not how myself- type error

It's not only controlling, it's a form of financial abuse. He is the tight arse here, not you.

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants thank you
Wasn’t sure if it me being petty

He just sounds like a massive dick to me.

Controlling on 2 fronts - ordering the food HE wanted for your meal (as well as what HE wanted for HIS own meal).

And ordering on your card despite being the (FAR) greater earner, and not telling you how much he had spent ON YOUR CARD. I would say that's controlling. And not in terms of you not trusting him to put money in, but I would certainly want to know how much was spent to keep an eye on my overall spends and limits and budgets, and perhaps wondering how much I owed towards the joint meal (despite not actually getting what I personally wanted).

Don't allow him access to your card any more.

The ordering food he wanted was selfish. Shows he foesnt care about your needs.

The using your card (dont let him do this!) to pay for what was essentially his food when he makes a shit ton more than you and then gaslighting you when you enquired as to the money is massively controlling.

Instead of paying you back after testing you like shit, he has turned things round on you to make you wonder 'am I the one in the wrong?'. It is a common abuser tactic to get you to focus on proving yourself to them in some way (prove your trust/innocence/goodness ect) instead of focusing on how shittily they are treating you.

He is a gaslighting, headfucking, cheap, selfish, controlling dickhead. Get rid!

He sounds like he has very little respect for you. Surely you can find a much better man.

Does it matter what label you give it? It's just shit behaviour and not something you should tolerate in a decent relationship. From what you say and the tone of your OP I don't think you are in a decent relationship, are you?

Don't let him move in with you or he will try to control all of your money.

Are you living together with shared children?

It sounds to me like another greedy, selfish partner that we see so often on here.

Yes he's controlling, unfortunately you can't trust him with your card or your food!
I think if it's his idea to get takeaway, he should pay.

Do you need to label it?

He's a prick! That's label enough to leave someone.

Is that reason enough to leave someone??

Yes it is

I think leaving him would be a bit dramatic over this one example, really depends on if he's got control over your life and causing you daily stress.
I do think you need to be honest with him if this kind of situation arises again and it does hurt to take a bit of control yourself, offer to order the takeaway next time, so the order is correct, decide who pays etc

@Donutsandjam

Is that reason enough to leave someone??

What, them being a prick?!

Of course it is! Why would anyone want to be with a prick?!

@Donutsandjam

Is that reason enough to leave someone??

Turn it around and ask if it's enough to stay with someone.

@Donutsandjam

Is that reason enough to leave someone??

It's a summary of how he treats you and how he feels about you so yes.

My dp isn't perfect, far from it in fact but he wouldn't ever do those things to me, it's nasty

Yes. Yes and yes leave.

Is this a one off or part of a pattern?

It was an unpleasant conversation, but really MN? LTB? Based on this one exchange?

It indicates a lack of respect for you.