Never had an orgasm

[Ohalrightthen]

Was reading a thread about a woman who's partner can't make her come, and started thinking about this...

I've never had an orgasm. Not like they're generally described, like a peak of sensation or a moment of climax or whatever, the whole romance novel "sparks of pure ecstasy" thing...

I get horny, i masturbate, i have excellent enjoyable sex with my husband (and have done with other people before) that leaves me feeling satisfied, but there has never ever been a BOOM moment. I have zero complaints about my sex life, solo or partnered, but sometimes it is very obvious to me that i don't experience sex the way other women do. Or do they? Am i super weird or have romance novels mislead me?

You should get ‘contractions’ in your vagina after you orgasm.

Hi Op. I have never had an orgasm either. I can't even get wet. I never masturbate. I rarely feel aroused.

But if I have a partner, then I really enjoy penetration, being close and sex.

I have no idea why. I have taken anti-depressants since I was a teenager for 11 years. But even before then I had no interest in masturbating.

I feel like an utter weirdo. I believe its the reason why my last relationship tanked. I also don't feel I should even date or bother to find a relationship again because I just know it would be an issue.

So you feel weird. I feel weirder. Too embarrassed to go to a doctor. I'm in my 30s.

Anti depressants are a known libido suppressant and they can also stop orgasm-in men and women.

When my DH was on one particular type he couldn’t come at all-others made it a lot harder.

@JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam

Anti depressants are a known libido suppressant and they can also stop orgasm-in men and women.

When my DH was on one particular type he couldn’t come at all-others made it a lot harder.

Agree. I took antidepressants for a few months around the age of 22/23...they took a huge toll on my libido, and even more so ability to orgasm....time it took & strength.

I think especially if you've been taking them from a relatively young age this could be quite disruptive as a lot of women don't experience orgasms before late teens, early 20s ++ so it might be a barrier to what might otherwise happen and sort of 'set' or 'normalize' your expectations for the future.

But I say that without wanting to knock the importance of these medications which can be transformative in terms of life quality for so many people...I know people who probably wouldn't be alive without them so yeah, got to weigh up the overall benefits with some of the side effects and definitely speak with GPs before considering any changes.

I don't think you can mistake an orgasm. Even if they are disappointingly mild, you know it has happened. To me it's like reaching a high point, then falling off the edge. I can feel the involuntary contractions, sometimes for a long time.

Arousal is pleasurable without an orgasm but if I'm going solo I don't stop until I either have an orgasm or realise it's one of those days when I just can't seem to go over the edge. Usually that's when I feel less aroused in the first place and the sensations generally aren't as good. Mostly I can always orgasm by myself as long as I have sufficient time and am not interrupted!

Took a while though to teach myself how to do so consistently!

From what you say, OP, you’re having a great time sexually so this isn’t a thing that needs fixing. But in case of interest, I will share that I find it easier to orgasm if I have one of my favourite really dirty fantasies going on in my head at the same time. I can feel great pleasure from sex, but it is usually fantasy that gives me that extra edge of excitement and tips me over the edge into orgasm.

OP I used to be like you. Enjoyed sex, masturbated, but never had that big climactic finish a la When Harry Met Sally.

In my mid 40s, I got a magic wand. It took me a bit of experimentation, but I now orgasm to climax with it. I now believe that I wasn't reaching orgasm before, just enjoying the clitoral stimulation.

If you're happy how you are, great. If you feel like you're missing out on something, definitely try some new toys. The rabbit didn't work for me, nor did any other dildo. Wish I had gotten the wand years earlier, to be honest.

@JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam

Anti depressants are a known libido suppressant and they can also stop orgasm-in men and women.

When my DH was on one particular type he couldn’t come at all-others made it a lot harder.

I agree. DH struggled on for years with taking ages to come as he needs the AD’s. But in the end we’ve given up. It’s much quicker to do it my self.