I'll try and keep this as brief as possible.
DH & I have 2 DD (1&3) and I have 1 DD9 from a previous relationship.
Back in June, DH lost his job due to covid. He decided at this point he would stop working and retrain in web development at home. We had enough savings to last us a year so I was happy for him to do this.
He also starting trading crypto currency.
Everything was going great until august when he had a freak accident at home. He ended up in hospital with a fractured skull and bleeding on the brain. Thankfully, not severe enough to operate but of course absolutely terrifying that it could have killed him.
The depression hit him about 5 days after he come home from the hospital. He was very tearful, couldn't think straight, confused and very frustrated.
He tried to go straight back into his work but was very upset that he was finding it impossible. Along with the crypto trading, he felt he was making stupid decisions all the time and this was causing him significant stress because he was losing money.
This is still happening but seems to be only getting worse. His work has improved although he realises its taking him longer than before the accident but it's the trading that's getting him the most.
Constantly complaining to me about how stupid he is, how he can't do it.
We realised he had basically developed a gambling addiction so he has cut himself off and felt better for around 24 hours.
Until he transferred these feelings onto buying and selling coins so now we're back in the same position.
He speaks to me about nothing else, otherwise he's on his computer with his headphones on.
In December I started working to keep the savings topped up, so I finish at 2 and take over with the children so he can work upstairs. Just unfortunately, I have to start work at 6am but I am up most nights until 12/1am trying to calm him down and talk him round. You can imagine the toll this is taking on my own mental health. I'm exhausted.
Now we're at the point where the depression has got so bad that he is having suicidal thoughts. He feels he is trapped, he can't take his money out but he keeps failing and losing money anyway.
No matter what I say makes no difference. He is angry, he is taking the stress of everything on his own shoulders and forgets that there is two of us, not just him.
He is gutted at the thought of having to go back to his old work because he feels like he has wasted the past (almost) year but conflicted with the fact that we will very quickly need more money coming in again.
I don't know what to do or how to help him. He won't seek therapy because he says we can't afford it.
It's breaking my heart and I don't know where to turn.
I only have my Dad who is busy with his own life and his family are in Poland.
I just hope for some advice on how I can get him through this.
Thank you for reading.