Pain in the ass friend

[Readingandrighting]

⬆️ Just that! He’s always the best at everything & is competitive. Due to a chronic health issue, I mentioned my frustration at not being able to progress in a sport I play (one he has never showed interest in). He texts me yesterday telling me he’s taken up that sport. I’m just waiting for the Instagram posts. Am I making sense? There’s always more behind what he does.

Meh cut him off. Unfollow on social media.

TWAT syndrome... He's done everything bigger brighter shinier faster than anyone else right? 🙄

cut him off.... 🌺

TWAT syndrome... He's done everything bigger brighter shinier faster than anyone else right?🙄

Yes exactly that! Him taking up that sport ls the final straw as I suspect it’s an underlying competitive thing. Bothers me!

Worked for a very short time with someone like that.

He didn't have any friends, colleagues avoided him and he was just an utter twat.

It's not good to have someone around who has to try and be better, or appear to be better than you, that is not a friend.

And for goodness sake, don't tell him you've been to Tenerife

These types of people tend to have nothing else going for them. They don't have the creativity or ability to seek out things for themselves so they latch on to others ideas in an attempt to seem relevant. Nothing wrong with being inspired by others to do something but they take it too far and 'showboat' about how amazing and adventurous they are, however, people get bored of them quickly as it becomes obvious that they don't have any real interest or passion for whatever they have jumped this time. All talk and all that.

Delete him from social media and the rest of your life. No one needs friends who appear to be deliberately trying to cause you upset.

Tell him you're taking up competitive dildo riding and you think you have a good shot at becoming "The Anal Toy Mistress"

this type of personality will drain the life out of people... for your own sanity you need to pull away... from the friendship 🌺 in whatever way suits you ☺️

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

Tell him you're taking up competitive dildo riding and you think you have a good shot at becoming "The Anal Toy Mistress"

PMSL 🤣

These types can also be quite intense until you pan back so that you are able to see that other “friends” have swerved them and you are the last man standing.

Who has responsibility for deciding who you stay friends with, and who you leave behind, OP?

Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it. We’ve been friends for a very long time but gawd, I wish I could have something that’s mine! He pretends he came up with these ideas independently but it’s obvious it’s because of what I said. It’s also a little hurtful he took it up as soon as I confided in him that I’ve been struggling with it. Annoyingly it has tainted the sport itself a little bit for me !!

Ah. The sort where if you've been to Tenerife, they've been to Elevenerife..

He's taken up the sport that you said your struggling with,let me guess I bet he's going to do it better than youunfortunately He's not a friend he's a prick,remove him from your life you don't need friends like him

Ha! Elevenerife!

Yes that’s exactly how I feel - that he’s going to try to outdo me. I could be wrong but he never does anything without trying to be the best at it! He never credits anyone for inspiring him either.

He’s nice in other ways but sadly I am running out of reasons to have him as a regular part of my life. We’re friends a long time & part of a wider circle so he’ll probably always be in my life though & he makes a lot of effort with me.

Ah, I see you are friends with my brother.

If you can't detach easily then start trolling. Embroidery is your new thing apparently. Expensive musical instrument. Claim to have learned the words to 3 of Steps greatest hits. This makes my brother's behaviour tolerable to me.

I did detach for several months after he co-opted my maternity leave hobby which was the only thing in my life that was exclusively mine at that point and I had told him that's why it was so good for my mental health.

You can try my other approach. I did something he cannot do. A seriously high level maths thing. He tried though. Other brother reported to me, chuckling, that Tenerife brother was v pissed off he couldn't do the hard sums.

My ex friend did this a lot. It was so fucking annoying, It didn’t matter what I’d done she had always done better. I honestly couldn't deal with it anymore and cut her off. She was very attention seeking and quite obviously made lies up.

Someone who is so driven to compete, trample your boundaries and individuality to win, or beat or be more superior that you is not motivated by friendship.

They don’t care about you or value you as a person you are just an object that they can clamber on to stay afloat. They may also see you as a threat somehow. Whatever it is it is not kind or respectful.

I would be asking yourself why you feel obligated to have such a character in your life? I suspect that all of the nice stuff they do for you is likely a charm offensive / manipulation to keep you in their orbit as others have distanced themselves.

Thanks - gawd ye know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s just so bloody annoying. The trolling thing sounds hilarious. I’m not great at maths but it’d be very funny to pretend I was doing some really difficult maths & flying through it.

The problem with this guy is he tends to ace everything he does. He’s average looking though & that really bothers him. If he was good looking too he’d be completely intolerable! I just can’t believe he’s hijacking the one hobby that was mine that he’s never had any interest in. I confided in him that my health issue was making it hard & then a few days later he texts me saying he’s taken it up! He really is a pain in the ass! Anyhow I’m going to do that sport today & try to forget about him & get him out of my head while I’m doing it!

I would be asking yourself why you feel obligated to have such a character in your life? I suspect that all of the nice stuff they do for you is likely a charm offensive / manipulation to keep you in their orbit as others have distanced themselves

Thanks. Well, 1. We’ve been friends a really really long time. 2. We have a whole group of mutual friends in common; so I would never want to make things awkward by falling putt with him. 3. A lot of people like him because he has many faces. One of my friends watches telly exclusively in his free time so he thinks Pain-in-the-ass man is great because he doesn’t see that side to him as he’s clearly no threat to Pain-in-the-ass.

I got singing lessons once & he was super interested. A few months later, as though inspired by himself alone, he got singing lessons & sang solo in a choir ... he happens to be quite good at everything he tries but I wish he’d leave my one solace (the sport) alone!

Ive got one of these. Exactly as everyone posting has said. He has no friends left. He's also done a similar thing and has taken to texting me to actually tell me how good it is. Those are the words he uses "Good, aren't I?". "You're not the 9noy one who can do x". etc.

I feel so embarrassed for him and am ignoring him, may block.

Y’ses my friend does have friends but it’s interesting who they are - his best male friend spends all his free time drinking in the pub - at least he did pre-COVID, which my friend would rarely do.

Grrrrr - I need to get this out of my head!

I had a friend like that.

With the emphasis on had...

You're dealing with a narcissist. Get shot they ruin lives.

Had one like it. She started to take up my hobbies...I would say something and then she would repeat it to others as if it were her own words...basically stealing me from me. Made everything a competition.

It kept up so slowly that I didnt even notice until she was flirting with any man I liked. Asking out any man I made friends with.

I know what she was now (covert narcissist) but at the time I couldn't understand why my friend would do these things.

They dont see you as a friend. They see you as competition. Also, with a 'fractured sense of self' narcissists 'try on' other peoples hobbies ect. It's a good way to spot them.

Run for the hills!

Eek! I don’t think I’d go as far as to say he’s a narcissist but he is fiercely competitive. He’s writing something right now purely because a friend of his is and he said to me ‘well if she’s able to , why can’t I!’