Pain in the ass friend

[Readingandrighting]

⬆️ Just that! He’s always the best at everything & is competitive. Due to a chronic health issue, I mentioned my frustration at not being able to progress in a sport I play (one he has never showed interest in). He texts me yesterday telling me he’s taken up that sport. I’m just waiting for the Instagram posts. Am I making sense? There’s always more behind what he does.

Yeah I'd go as far op.

Normal people dont turn everything into a competition.

If not NPD its something else that isnt healthy or neuro typical.

But you could test it like I did. Mention wanting a tattoo.

(I did, she ran out and booked one for herself).

Though I guess might not work rn as the studios are shut.

@billyt

Worked for a very short time with someone like that.

He didn't have any friends, colleagues avoided him and he was just an utter twat.

It's not good to have someone around who has to try and be better, or appear to be better than you, that is not a friend.

And for goodness sake, don't tell him you've been to Tenerife

...or do tell him, then maybe he'll sod off there and not be able to get back xD

You could have some fun with this, tell him you're planning on a solo walk from Lands End to John 'Groats, with any luck you won't see him for a few weeks.

*I would be asking yourself why you feel obligated to have such a character in your life? I suspect that all of the nice stuff they do for you is likely a charm offensive / manipulation to keep you in their orbit as others have distanced themselves

Thanks. Well, 1. We’ve been friends a really really long time. 2. We have a whole group of mutual friends in common; so I would never want to make things awkward by falling putt with him. 3. A lot of people like him because he has many faces.*

Obligations:

1. Time is irrelevant. Or maybe not in this case. Seems you have given him too much time already and he continues to disrespect you.

1. You can just detach emotionally from him in your head, withdraw, do the whole grey rock thing with him when you have to be in the wider group together. I bet if you look closely many others have done this already. It’s subtle.

1. His many faces description sounds v inauthentic. Often people do this mirroring so that they can manipulate and exploit. But just because many people like him doesn’t mean you have to.

It’s interesting that someone who makes you feel really uncomfortable for many years you feel obligated to maintain a “friendship” with. Who taught you that?

Thanks for your responses. Some of them are so funny. I could definitely have fun with this!

Some of your responses have made me think hard. It’s a great question as to why I feel obligated to remain friends with someone who made me feel uncomfortable for years. I have a long history dating back to primary school of staying in friendships that I don’t want to be in. The primary school one was catastrophic!

For starters, stop sharing details of things that actually matter. Pretend you’ve lost interest in your sport, if possible. Either flood him with tales of stupendous dullness (during lockdown 3 you’ve discovered the joy of cleaning the skirting boards with a toothpick, growing cress on flannels whatever). Or just invent things - if you’re ever challenged, just say ‘oh that! I’m so over it - so last week...’
He sounds very insecure, but it’s galling when people repeatedly steal your thunder.

Worth a shot!