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Original poster

Should I be worried?

55 replies

Penny15 · 14/01/2021 23:30

So my partner has been distant over the last few weeks. I found a Snapchat on his phone from who I thought was his sister as it was saved as her name but it was not. He insisted they was just friends and he saved her as his sister because he didn’t want me to be upset he was chatting to someone else. I sent her a message and she said they was just old friends every now and then they talk about there lives and I had nothing to worry about.

Fast forward to just after new year he started a argument with me intentionally so I left and went home only to be told by a mutual friend he went to a birthday party that this girl was at that I was also invited to and we was planning on going together until we had a argument and he told me he was going to bed. The next day I ask why he lied and he insisted he didn’t go and only admitted it when I told him i was told he was there. He insisted he never new she was there and he only stayed a hour had 1 drink and went home to bed.

So fast forward to this week Monday night he told me he was going to bed supper early at 7.30pm which is not like him as he stays up till 3/4am every night I thought it was suspicious but went with it until Tuesday I couldn’t get hold of him until 6pm he said he had only just woken up from 7.30 the night before. I told him I didn’t believe him and he needed to be honest but insisted he was being honest. Then yesterday he was normal spoke to me a few times during the day. Called me at night like he always does and said he was going to bed at 10.30pm and he would ring me this morning.

So today nothing I called him and sent a few texts but got no reply. So I decided to go to his house but I got half way there and he answered at 6pm again and said he had only just woke up. I said you can’t of slept that long again and he said he went to sleep at 10.30pm woke up at 8am and fell back to sleep at 11am until 6pm. I said I was nearly at his house and he said go home as he had some things he needed to sort out call him at 7.30pm. So I went home called and he didn’t answer again. So I kept trying a few times and eventually he answered at 8.50pm and said he was asleep I woke him up and he was going back to sleep. So again I confronted him saying what’s going on you can’t sleep that long. He said he’s just tired call him tomorrow at 11am so I said that’s 14 hours from now your not going to sleep that long. He said again he was going he will see me Saturday like we planned. I said are you with another girl and he laughed and said no obviously not I’m going to sleep goodnight told me he loved me and went.

I don’t know what to think. I know this girl from Snapchat is in uni in Scotland and she has gone back to Scotland. Could he be asleep or is there more to this?

OP posts:
booboo24 · 14/01/2021 23:48

I would say he's lying somewhere along the line. I would drop by his house and see, but I'd have done it when he told you to turn the car around. Sorry but I think he's up to no good, not necessarily with the one you think though

Castieldeansam · 14/01/2021 23:50

Re read what you have written and dump him.

Nothavingfunrightnow · 14/01/2021 23:53

Too much bullshit. He's a liar. Block him. Don't even break up with him.

jeaux90 · 14/01/2021 23:53

He lying. He's seeing someone else. If you read back what you wrote you will realise that.

Dump him and move on.

converseandjeans · 14/01/2021 23:54

He's trying to cool things down. Just ignore him rather than chasing after him. I think he started the argument on purpose so he could go to the party alone & suss out if this other girl is interested in him.

Stillfunny · 14/01/2021 23:54

You dont know exactly what he is up to. But you know for a fact that he is a liar. Dump him.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 14/01/2021 23:56

He’s either a liar or a lazy fucker. Either way, he doesn’t sound like he wants to spend time with you. Please pick up your self esteem from wherever you left it and move on. He doesn’t deserve you. Flowers

Sunflower1970 · 14/01/2021 23:57

He’s distancing himself in a really cowardly way. Sorry he’s cheating. Time to dump

PaigeMatthews · 14/01/2021 23:59

Why are you even considering him as a partner? Why do you think he would make a good partner?

Original poster
Penny15 · 15/01/2021 00:00

We’ve been in a relationship for 7 years and we are engaged. I never ever thought he was the type to cheat on me and see someone else. I am being so paranoid recently about it deep down I don’t think he is and he is just tired but then his actions are saying different. I’ve tired calling him again but no answer

OP posts:
VanGoghsDog · 15/01/2021 00:03

Maybe he has carbon monoxide poisoning.....

Nah, he's just lying for some reason. Doesn't he have a job to go to? Why was there a party when we have a lockdown?

usedandabusedx1000 · 15/01/2021 00:05

I can’t believe you went home when you were halfway to his house and so clearly being fed another lie. I would have absolutely continued along my merry way to save at the very least my own sanity by proving I wasn’t wrong. Not helpful, I know.

Original poster
Penny15 · 15/01/2021 00:09

Yes he does he’s self employed gardener and window cleaner so he doesn’t have much work this time of year but he’s not been getting up to clean windows since middle of December his sleeping pattern is messed up but he’s never pulled this on me before

OP posts:
MLM268 · 15/01/2021 01:41

He's lying. Whether he's cheated or not is besides the point. You've caught him in numerous lies which he's only admitted to because you caught him out. I'd be way done. I'd be running away in fact.

MLM268 · 15/01/2021 01:44

Sorry, my post didn't sound sympathetic. I've been there, if he can lie about stuff like that what else is he lying about? He saved her number as his sister's number, do you think he'd tell you if he was having sex with her? I've been there. Also, I messaged the OW (he had saved her number as a mates name - again not to upset me, because I'm a paranoid crazy person Hmm). She also told me nothing was going on. In fact they were having sex but he'd asked her to lie too.

Original poster
Penny15 · 15/01/2021 02:10

I have thought that she was in on the lie, every time I’ve mentioned it I’ve been made out to be a crazy controlling girlfriend

OP posts:
partyatthepalace · 15/01/2021 02:12

He’s not an honest man.

No one saves someone under their sister’s name so as ‘not to upset you’.

He’s full of shit. Get shot of him.

MLM268 · 15/01/2021 02:16

@Penny15 I went on for 6 months after she told me nothing was going on. I mean why would she lie? He made out he wasn't allowed to have female friends and the only reason he "had" to lie was because I was controlling and insecure. Honestly all of it was bollocks. She finally messaged me to tell me everything (after he fucked her off), screenshots of messages, the lot. Brutal. The amount of lies he told was astounding. I feel your pain, genuinely feel your pain. Trust me, the lies won't get better.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/01/2021 02:17

Op, you posted about your partner a few days ago about how he wasn't responding, you obsessively calling him, etc, etc. Many of us, including myself, told you this relationship is over. You are still in denial. He's lying and most probably cheating. It's over. Gather up your dignity and end it. You've wasted enough time already.

EveryoneHasLostTheGame · 15/01/2021 02:18

Him being sneaky and hiding her in his phone as his sister would have been the deal breaker for me.

When he further lied about going to a party he'd have been dumped.

You don't trust him (and he's given you good reason not to) you deserve better than a liar who ignores you when he feels like it.

MotherofDogs3 · 15/01/2021 02:19

In a previous post OP you have said you went to see him and he told you he was depressed and you were working on things with him. Not to sound a bitch but pretty sure you keep writing about the same thing just changing your post slightly. Others have given you plenty of advice on this post and the other one you recently posted. The guy is either seriously depressed or going down the cowards way of trying to break up with you by ignoring you.

grassisjeweled · 15/01/2021 02:29

He's a liar. Get rid.

BuhleedingHeart · 15/01/2021 02:50

You not being married to him and not having children makes this very uncomplicated. I say run for the door. It seems obvious he is lying to you. You can do much better.

Itstimetoquit · 15/01/2021 02:55

You posted only a few days ago how you couldn't get hold of him? you even drove to his home! Is it not obvious that he was busy texting another women (who he's saved as his sister),he's a window cleaner?I thought he lived on a farm! The relationship is over I just don't think he knows how to tell you,he has become your obsession and that's not healthy....move on

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 15/01/2021 04:17

He's clearly up to something but even if he isn't surely you don't want to be with someone who does nothing but sleep. Just dump him.and move on - he's a useless boyfriend.