I know how easily posters here tell you to leave a partner, close the door on a relationship, etc. So I don't expect this attitude to be any different in the replies I will get to this post. However I'd like to get some opinions (and MN isn't short of those!).
I've been with my OH for two years. We see each other a couple of nights a week, sometimes more depending on work commitments. In pre-Covid times we'd go away for short breaks and generally do what most couples do.
However I feel we are still 'dating.' We've met each other's families multiple times, met each other's friends and plan stuff that's months (not years) away. Sex is fantastic and we have a great time together - we enjoy watching some of the same shows, have a couple of shared hobbies, laugh a lot.
But I would be lying if I said I think we are madly in love with each other. We care for each other very much and enjoy spending time together. We are the longest relationship each of us has had post divorce (around 5 - 7 years ago).
Here's my dilemma. Before meeting OH, I had a couple of dates with someone else. Just a couple. But it was one of those things where the sparks were so strong we were a fire risk! The chemistry. The connection. It was unbelievable. We ticked so many of each other's boxes. We were both thrilled. The issue at the time was this person felt his kids were too young and he didn't want to upset them by introducing a new partner to them. I was gutted. I was equally disappointed and mad that he would let something like this go because of this. Most children today have divorced parents. I wouldn't have wanted to be introduced until everyone felt it was the right time (I wanted to date the parent, not the children).But it was his decision and I accepted it.
Last week he got in touch. Out of the blue. He texted me saying he had been wanting to contact me again for a while but wasn't sure how I'd take it. When I saw the message my jaw dropped. I'm now in two minds: what should I do? Potentially this man is a better fit for me than most men I've met in the past. But was the kids' reason an excuse? Could you really have a few dates with someone, dates that go really, really well, and then realise it's too soon to date?
I haven't replied to his message yet because I don't know what to say. Or whether to reply altogether. So I'm hoping someone here can share words of wisdom please.