Husband not staying home during lockdown

[itiswhatitis97]

I've spoken to my husband numerous times about visiting his family/friends during lockdown, but he comes with millions of excuses.
I understand it's difficult for all of us to stay in, but we have to.
He continues to go out every evening for at least 2 hours.
What do I do? I feel like telling him tonight that if he does not stop I will not let him in.
Just to mention I have baby at home.

Giraffye1

Because I've done it before, the anxiety and stress that it has caused me the first time was gruelling.
Although I felt mentally at peace, I wasn't strong enough to continue doing it ALL by myself. I gave up!

Why are you still with this person. Why do you cook him a meal or have sex with him? He does not want to spend time with you or his baby. Other men manage to watch football at home. No need to go out every night. ATM he should not be out in evenings at all. I would give him ultimatum. Stay home during pandemic or ho out but don't come back. You do it all on your own anyway and he will still have to pay for the baby.

He shouldn't be going out every night even without Covid. I'm thinking affair to. I never thought my ex husband would have an affair. But he did and now he's an ex.

Are you both quite young? His behaviour sounds so childish, preferring to go and hang out with his mates of an evening than his partner and new baby? Disgusting behaviour even if we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic.

He’s really not a keeper OP.

How many children do you have?

Can you imagine this type of life continuing after COVID?

No excuse and not condoning it, but is he from the Middle East, or another culture where men used to hang out in coffee houses all evening?

This is immediately what I thought, also because of the Op saying she was “talked about” when she changed the locks. Are you from that background too OP?

@caringcarer

Why are you still with this person. Why do you cook him a meal or have sex with him? He does not want to spend time with you or his baby. Other men manage to watch football at home. No need to go out every night. ATM he should not be out in evenings at all. I would give him ultimatum. Stay home during pandemic or ho out but don't come back. You do it all on your own anyway and he will still have to pay for the baby.

I just despair when I read these posts. Why do women mate with such men??? And inflict them on their offspring.

He's not a husband or a father.

Mega misogyny and sexist behaviour here. Makes me sick.

Please gather the strength to get rid of him. So what if people talk about it. You need freedom and peace.

He isn’t going to change by the sounds of it , Is he ?
He doesn’t help you, he doesn’t respect you, he doesn’t listen to you, he’d rather sit in a car than spend time with you .
Apart from him changing ( which he won’t) what do you want to happen?

I would be questioning why he doesn't like being at home. If he needs togo out every night then something must be bothering him at home.

@Mseddy

If you rang him the playback on his phone would stop. So it's a TV you are hearing in the background, not him sitting in the car on his phone. Screams cheating to me if I'm honest!

I wondered how long it would be before this came up

Children? How many kids have you had with this prick?
Also, no offence but I doubt you would know if he’s having an affair, how? He already spends more time out of the house than in and the majority of it in his car on his phone doing god knows what.

@Sweettea1

I would be questioning why he doesn't like being at home. If he needs togo out every night then something must be bothering him at home.

Yeah, blame the OP why don't you, ffs.

I'll tell you what is "bothering him at home":

responsibility
fatherhood
'wifework'
childcare
demands on his time and energy
anything that isn't what his lazy selfish arse prefers to do

Beefcurtains

3 kids

Bendylikebecham

Thank you!
I dislike it when people blame the issue in you. He is a grown man, and has CHOSEN to not spend the time with his family.
Has absolutely nothing to do with me.

*on

My ex did this op.
Spent the first three months of my daughters life in the pub
It’s just selfish - that’s all it is

Turns out my ex ‘hated the sound of kids crying’ ( obviously I loved it but hey!)
It didn’t get better.

This is who these men are. He is showing you who he is. He won’t change

Is this the life you want for you and your children?

Btw bear this in mind-Single parenting is not actually that hard

BendyLikeBeckham When did I blame op? I said I would question why he doesn't like being at home not he doesn't like being around op! But yes if he is avoiding all the things you point out maybe its time he packed his bags and left once an for all.

You sound very controlling.
Maybe that's the reason he avoids you?

@Lunar567 give over

Honestly this relationship won’t get better and you’re subjecting yourself and your children to a miserable existence.

He isn’t showing you any respect. He’s valuing his mates above you. Please seek a better life for yourself and your children.

He sounds like a teenager. I can imagine him meeting his mates in a boy racer and doing doughnuts in b&q car park.

Yiu say you struggled without him, before. Practice getting organised. Make lists. Book an online shop in advance so the running out of stuff is less likely. Then imagine how much less work you'd have to do without him treating you like his mum.

Make an anonymous police report

He won't do it again after that

If you tell him it must not be an idle threat, but you must 100% go through with it. Or if you know it is with several people and where it is, call the police. They are interested in large social gatherings.

Just to mention I have baby at home

Probably why he’s not staying home. Yet another guy checking out of parenting.