dealing with arguments

[PurpleStreak10]

If your other half dealt with minor arguments by not talking to you for anywhere up to a week, in what circumstances would you put up with this?

In no circumstances

Maybe if they were in recovery from a breakdown, head injury or other seriously traumatic event but otherwise? Inexcusable behaviour.

No circumstances.

Its manipulative and toxic.
Not a suitable partner.

I really wouldn't, not under any circumstances. That's no way to live.

I would never tolerate that. It's manipulative and abusive. Total dealbreaker.

Never again.

Possibly if it was a few hours (a week is far too long) and the individual was emotionally mature and respectful enough to say they needed some time alone and didn't threaten the status of our relationship. But then again if it was over something trivial, I'd run fast.

Well ( and I'm prepared to get flamed here), if I feel hurt I tend to "go inside myself" (especially if there is shouting involved).

It's not an attempt to punish someone. It's an attempt to try to see both sides, and try to figure out some kind of compromise, that leaves all of us feeling understood.

I realise that some people see my reaction as my trying to impose some kind of punishment. But it really isnt.

To family and friends, I try to explain, when things simmer down, why I go quiet. Some understand, some dont.

Yes, sometimes if it's a knotty problem, it may take me a couple of days. But I don't use my silence as a weapon. Initially, I use it as a protective barrier between me and the person I perceive is attacking me. A couple of hours later, I am silent because I'm trying to figure out what to do/ say to make things better

No circumstances

There's no shouting. It happens if I disagree with something he's done. He doesn't tell me he needs space, will just go silent on me for however long. We don't live together.

Don’t ever live together
Big red flag

Purple

What you’re describing there is emotional abuse and the only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none.

Do not ever put up with this because you will only be further dragged down with him, such men do not change.

End the relationship and rebuild your life. It’s over anyway because of this abuse he meets out towards you.

Ffs, just end it, op. This relationship is not in anyway healthy or normal. Why live like this?

I would not tolerate that at all. It’s pathetic. He needs to learn some communication skills.

Honestly I would end it.

I've had four years of this and it's only now that I'm starting to question it. He's lovely the rest of the time. I just don't get it.

Four years!

I'd end it. He's not going to change. Have you spoken about it? Does he realise it's abusive?

@tenlittlecygnets yes we've spoken about it a few times he doesn't see it as abusive, he's sees it as his way of dealing with things.

yes we've spoken about it a few times he doesn't see it as abusive, he's sees it as his way of dealing with things.

Of course he doesn't see it as abusive, he's not the one being emotionally abused. Apparently his way of "dealing with things" is to punish you be being a passive-aggressive fuckwit. Get rid of him.

Silent for a WEEK!

Ideally don't go to sleep with bad feelings, but certainly by next day both parties should have calmed down enough to see both sides, and apologise where needed and move on.

Anything over 24 hours is unacceptable. Immature on his part as well.

Op I'm in the same situation.

Why do we put up with it.

@smigfy what reason does your partner do it?

Have you posted about him ignoring you for days and weeks at a time before?! This all sounds very familiar...

[quote PurpleStreak10]@smigfy what reason does your partner do it? [/quote]
Apparently he needs time to think.

@malbecchio no first post am just pulling my hair out at this point