Shocked at just how ugly I really am

[Onefootoutthedoor]

I have seen photos of myself where I think I look quite attractive. I can scrub up ok when I make an effort. In the mirror, I think I'm ok.

But all of these times, I'm still.

Whenever I catch photos of myself moving -laughing/singing or on video or (even worse currently) talking during online video zoom calls, I'm struck by just how ugly I am.

I feel like I'm deluding myself the rest of the time, thinking I'm an averagely attractive, normal looking woman and then I catch sight of myself and realise the truth.

It's starting to make me.feel really anxious about talking to other people, going out and paranoid about video calls.

I've put this in relationships because its affecting my interactions with other people.

I think it must have been there on a subconscious level because I've dumped men in the past for telling I was attractive/pretty because I don't tolerate lying and it feels like a lie. I always used to avoid photos/videos of myself and now I can't escape it and it's making it worse.

I hear you, OP. I especially hate it when my WiFi drops out mid Teams meeting and I am caught in a freeze frame with my eyes closed and mouth open.

I want to believe it’s my brain playing a trick on me (the way a PP suggested). It gets me down if I think that’s what I really look like

For Zoom calls. Buy one of those Baker Boy type hats,
gather your hair into it and wear it at a jaunty angle, then you don't have to wash your hair for every call. Wear a polo neck if you have any wattle. I stick on a bit of eyeliner, craft some really heavy eyebrows and I'm off.

I'm the same - I'm really quite shocked and saddened by just how ugly I am! I really like beautiful things too..

Anyway, I've noticed that although I've mostly been fine during lockdown(s) when I do get stressed the symptom is attacking my looks.. I also remember that during a really stressful period of his life my DB started talking about having cosmetic surgery to the complete bemusement of everyone else..

The number of times I have caught sight of myself in shop mirrors etc and gaped at my hideousness is, well, a lot. I have never kidded myself that I am anything other than less than averagely attractive but sometimes it's a shock to be reminded how fucking ugly I am!

I remember being in an exercise class once....everyone was really thin and toned...I stood there thinking I was the fattest in the room..until I saw a woman fatter than me...phew I thought...except it was me...I had caught sight of myself in the mirrored walls

I saw this on Facebook. It applies even more to zoom.

You are not ugly! I hate how I look on video and certain lighting. My type of job is based on looks and my clients will tell me my face is the best advertising for my business and I have beautiful features and skin but really I’m just like you I go through spells I’m down on myself and feel so ugly. Reality is I’m not, your mental state and mood dertermines how you see yourself.
I don’t think there is a such thing as ugly everyone has redeeming qualities ☺️

I consider myself attractive, but there must be hundreds of pictures that are just horrid, luckily there is a delete button.
I doubt you have anything to worry about. :)

The way we are WFH at the moment is probably not helping...
I'n sure we aren't really designed to be faced with our reflection for half the day.
I am far more critical of my appearance on Zoom calls than I was in "real life" meetings.
As for photos... have you ever noticed that your partner/family/friends seem to love the photos of you that you dislike... it's because they see more than your facial features... they see a friend, sister, partner... they see love, friendship and kindness.
Stop being so hard on yourself.
We are all beautiful to the people who love us.

You’ve clearly got some massive self esteem issues if you’re dumping people for finding you attractive you realise not everyone will find what you find attractive right? Bloody outright warped to dump someone purely cause they fancy you

Omg I’m exactly the same except I look
At pictures and think Oo I’m ok looking then I seen myself in a mirror or my camera and realise I’m a monster. It’s actually heartbreaking and I always say it’s why I’m single as no guy would want someone like me